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treepelt -> she-with-horns

@she-with-horns / she-with-horns.tumblr.com

26, F, Montana Multifandom/Personal blog. Unpopularly opinionated about stupid things, lots of dragons and general animation abound. Current content: HTTYD, Warriors, D&D, general animation news/cool stuff, various video games, and a generous smattering of #relatable posts. Currently married to @anoddmistake 💚
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lostvox

Y’all have held me at gunpoint asked so YES I will add cowbell to the song as well lmaooo

Chat I promise, I SWEAR to you, I’ll add cowbell in generous amounts

three days remain

please fix this, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to sit through these horns

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My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

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19leahjade96

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

Happy 420

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reblogged

hello! i just found your copy of Hitchups on spotify, and it made my DAY! its been a while since i read this epic for the first time, and i'm so happy to see more and more podficcers posting their work onto spotify for easier accessibility. this is my first time listening to your work, but wow you really bring this story to life! you're an amazing VA! i cant wait to listen to the rest of it - i hope you have a great day!

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Oh my goodness these are such kind words and I'm glad to see your delight!!! I want to pass these on. I haven't done any work with VAing or fic reading, but I hope the person who HAS done this finds out and learns how much this means to you!!!! People who do this type of work are heroes. I hope you've continued listening and it's turned into a great WEEK!

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I WAS TRIPPING i was like haddock why didn't you tell me???

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Speaking of bad phrases that should die I just saw someone say they're having a "menty b"????? No!!!! NO!!!!!!

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mousemilf

"zillennial" isnt enough i think we need to introduce three microgeneration labels for everyone born between 95 and 2005 based on how covid fucked them up because i really believe that being in your early 20s and trying to figure out how to pay rent in the pandemic, graduating highschool in 2020 and having to pause your transition to adulthood, and zoom highschool created wildly different types of traumatized people.

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nyancrimew
Anonymous asked:

Just mention that you’re critical of your interests in your bio so you won’t be called out for your media interests.

it's kind of awesome how little attempts y'all make at getting literally any context whatsoever before sending me asks, how do u care so much and yet so little at the same time

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like just so we're clear im being called out for the alleged media interests of mutuals i dont have, not for anything i'm doing and also i don't care and your understanding of media criticism and analysis is laughable at best

brb i'm gonna put "i'm a zombie that accepts every frame of media i see as immutable fact and reason and i do not raise questions or conversation about the fiction i consume" in my description

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