We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!
Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life.
12 days left until the breadiversary, we’d better make sure we have the ingredients on hand!
It’s today!
It’s today!!
It’s not delivery, it’s A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE
This new yaoi looks guretto.
One more day left until part 5 👌
grab ur kids and jump in, fridays are back
Sometimes I upset the DM. @kittens4jc @that-disappointing-cryptid @taciturn-metronome @rhevenil
I also caused this
“ He knows that i love Snakes “
If you spot this Green Quaker Parrot outside in the Chicago area or just in general, please please notify me. She escaped and I’m absolutely devastated. Please, please reblog and spread the word.
My contribution to the Netflix Death Note adaption nonsense.
Featuring @azumianime
BNHA poster for AX!! I managed to finish at the last second oh man o<-< i wanted to do something fun and cute and i love all the official art with them in formal clothes
if i die resurrect me with this video
if you want to retain your hemsworth-like fantasies of what aussie guys are like, don’t watch this video
please watch this video
fuck yeah lad
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
If this is your first time seeing the Salt & Pepper Diner story, I envy you. Sometimes I wish I could hear it again for the first time.
This is the best!
for any kid who’s new to the puyo puyo fan scene, it’s best to avoid tumblr user thefizzynator, who is suspected of being pedophile/groomer.
also he’s just an all-around dipshit
here is a set of screencaps from a “group intervention” of sorts involving him and here is a written explanation of what happened with him there may or may not be more info to come (warning for discussion of loli/shota, etc.)
take care of yourselves, kids
Go big or go home
So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.
In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.
So I decided to try it
alrighty, let’s go one more step
i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.
THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
Story of my life
that’s a first.
I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC
I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one
Watching the newest Nanbaka, and I’m like : “Huh, Samon’s brother is tall.” But what I didnt realize was that he’s f-ing 9ft 9in!!! What kind of human in fricking 9 feet 9?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
