Howdy everyone! Hope yβall are doing well. After much thought, Β I am no having much choice this point.. So I want to open commissions again to try to raise some money for the medical bills.
At the start of 2019, I was working as an artist freelancer, making minimum wage ($300-$500 per month). I was under a lot of pressure and I kept a hold of Self-Loathing. That problem became deeply entrenched. I can't confront self-criticism. Failures of any kind are seen entirely as negatives and it was all my fault. I believed that my self-loathing was entirely justified. Aspects of my body or mind, I think they all are wrong. I lost a sense of dignity for myself, fell into a state of depression. I didn't know where to look. It was such a difficult time. Luckily, I have some best friends, they were the great support to me..
Until last year I've been struggling with money for a while because I've lost my full-time job since Covid-19 hit and the odd jobs doesn't help much. And I also had a huge mental crisis. Someone came into my life and made it worst than it ever was. I don't want to blame them but I can't denied that they left a huge hole in my mind. My depression became worse. Getting out of bed was much harder. I often had a panic attack. The intense trauma affected also my job. I can't hold the pen, I can't focus on my art work. My biggest trigger is any environment that reminds me of work. By the time I realised what actually happened, it was too late. And this time I know I can't ask anyone for help even my best friend, I don't want to bother them. I need to see a therapist.
From the day of treatment. It giving me a trend of improvement over time but the cost of it gonna make me sick. I racked up $2,000 of debt since last year because of Depression. It seemed like a little money but in my country, that is a high debt. (The minimum wage in this country is currently $10 per dayΒ―\_(γ)_/Β―, Β I tried to sell and send my crafts to the international customer since 2020, You know what? All the parcels are as they were, in the post office. Because of my country reopened are closing again as COVID-19 cases spike, it basically shows how incompetent and corrupt the government are lol Ok, forget that for now. Let's get back to topic.)
Last week my life is gonna change more dramatically. It is getting worse again. I've just found out that my ma is sick. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I know medicine today has advanced far but there's a high cost.
I am not asking for donations. I really just want to work for any money I get.
All info is in the link : https://zioncommission.mystrikingly.com
Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Reblogs extremely appreciated. Thank you so much!
