Summary of Methods Used to Get Tony to Eat

Steve: Tony, I brought you some food.

Tony: Sorry cap, I’m busy

Steve: *puppy dog eyes*

Tony: ……. okay

Success rate 60%

__________

Bucky: I made you some food.

Tony: Sorry robocop, I’m busy.

Bucky: I slaved all morning to make you something, the least you could do is eat it you little shit! *tries to shove food down Tony’s throat*

Success rate 20%

__________

Pepper: Hey Tony, I brought food.

Tony: Sorry Pep, can’t right now.

Pepper: I also brought coffee

Tony: Oh gimme! *grabby hands*

Pepper: Food first though

Tony: But coffee!

Success rate 45%

__________

Stephen: Tony I brought you food

Tony: Can’t right now Doc, busy.

Stephen: We can either do this the easy or hard way

Tony: what’s the hard way?

Stephen: I make a portal into your stomach, but trust me it won’t be comfortable

Success rate 14% [Well 100% if he uses the portal but then Tony won’t speak to him for a week]

___________

Rhodey: Hey Tones! Brought you food

Tony: Ah sorry honey bear, but I’m busy.

Rhodey: It’s burgers

Tony: ..well

Rhodey: with milkshakes!

Tony: ….I guess

Rhodey: And if you don’t I’ll let hammer upgrade war machine

Tony: YOU WOULDN’T DARE

Success rate 40%

__________

Natasha: Tony, here’s food. *drops on table*

Tony: Sorry itsy bitsy, I’m busy

Natasha: *murder glare*

Tony: *nervous sweating*

Natasha: *narrows eyes* Well?

Tony: *slowly reaches for food*

Success rate 80%

__________

Peter: Mr. Stark, I’m hungry. Can we go out to eat?

Tony: *drops everything* Sure kid. I’ll always have time for you

Peter: *beams*

Success rate 100%

So my mom is shopping in a supermarket, wearing a full hijab and jilbab (commonly misnamed as a burka) and the whole time she is there, this kid is staring at her. Won’t stop staring. Just looking with wide-eyed shock. The lil feller isn’t any older than four. She doesn’t think much of it, she is used to far worse than just a few stares. Until the very end when the kid and his mom are behind her in the checkout, and he leans up and whispers loudly: “I LOVE YOU BATMAN”

This is so pure and adorable

Oh the memories. I sorta did this when I was a kid, I was like 5 my mom was picking me up from kindergarten. There was a Muslim boy in my school, so his mother picked him up wearing the hijab and the jilbab, I saw her and I was amazed. Not because she was Muslim. No I deadass thought this lady was a ninja. So I continued to frantically tap my mother and pointed and said “mommy it’s a ninja!” The lady over heard me, my mom tried to quite me, until this lady did an actual ninja pose. I flipped my shit that day in kindergarten.

Wonder Woman was a great movie for equal opportunity eye candy.

Straight guys and gay girls can enjoy gal gadot in armor.

Gay guys and straight girls can enjoy a mostly naked Chris pine

Bi/pan people get to enjoy both

And if you’re ace like me, well. She threw a tank with her bare hands, and that’s as good as it gets

I really like this post.

I’ve never seen anything this funny in my goddamned life

ah yes this

the phantom: sing for me my angel of music!!!

9 year old me honestly believing i had both the vocal range and operatic stylings of miss christine daaé:

one of the v. important things the movies missed about ron is just like, how down to fight he was at all times. like not even duel just he was always ready to physically beat the shit out of people who insulted his family or friends and WOULD if no one stopped him.

there are so many points in the books where its just casually dropped in ‘and so Harry and/or Hermione had to physically restrain Ron’ usually from Malfoy but if Harry or Hermione weren’t paying attention it became ‘and so Ron punched Malfoy in the face’. 

Like, Ron cursing Malfoy for calling Hermione Mudblood wasnt just a one off thing like every time he did that in the future when Ron was there it was like ‘ron had to be stopped from ending Malfoy’s life’ just thrown in there. Same for any other severe insults.

My absolute favorite instance of this is in the first book when they’re just watching a Quidditch game and Malfoy just starts bothering Ron and Hermione during it and is finally like ‘man its pretty funny how the Gryffindor quidditch team is recruited based on pity like y’know Potter has no parents, Weasley’s brothers have no money they should include Longbottom for having no brains” and Ron just flings himself at Malfoy and starts punching him and rolling around under the bleachers and Neville is like “uh shit i guess i better fight CRABBE AND GOYLE BOTH AT ONCE so they don’t go after him” (very underrated moment of courage from Neville he knew he had no chance but he just went for it honestly almost more impressive than confronting Voldemort in book 7)

and they’re just fighting for like twenty minutes and Hermione doesn’t even notice because she was so focused on tuning Malfoy out and watching the game and when its over she looks around like “where’d ron go” and then later its mentioned “Harry sees Ron and his face is covered in blood and he’s like “GOOD JOB WINNING THE GAME HARRY I GAVE MALFOY A BLACK EYE SO WE BOTH DID GREAT THINGS TONIGHT oh btw i have detention for a week and neville’s unconcious but they say he’ll be fine”.

Ron is ride or die and will fight u for $0 y’all 

harry: and what if I wave my wand and nothing happens? ron: throw it away and punch him on the nose

Draco in COS: Pity Granger didn’t die.

Ron: I don’t need my wand. I’m going to kill him with my bare hands.

Some of you did not spend your childhoods making potions out of random leaves and berries and twigs and just throwing them all in a tub of water and stirring it with a big stick you found and it shows.

The Australian Ballet is doing Alice in Wonderland again and on one hand I’ve seen it before, and on the other, their Queen of Hearts has my favourite costume in anything every

It’s just this and her court pushes her around the stage on wheels and every act it gets taller until she towers over everyone

Also in act 3 (I think) it swings open at the front and her husband is sitting inside reading a newspaper

I saw this again on Tuesday so here are some things I’d forgotten about:

Aziraphale, hanging out on Noah’s Ark watching the flood waters rise. Hears a noise down in the hull and goes to investigate.

Finds Crowley stowed away in the hull along with several hundred Mesopotamian children ranging in age from infants to late teens.

Crowley, in the middle of passing around a bread basket that endlessly refills itself, looks up like a deer in headlights. “Okay, I can explain this…”

—Later that day—

Crowley, while bottle feeding one of the infants: I mean clearly the Almighty wants these children dead, what with their capacity for evil and stuff, so by saving them all, I’m actually going against the Ineffable Plan.

Aziraphale, hiding a smile: Right. Makes perfect sense.

Crowley: I’m being very evil here.

Aziraphale: Of course you are.

Crowley: …you’re not about to throw them all overboard, are you? Because I will fight you.

Aziraphale: Oh, no. You’ve clearly outwitted me this time. I must accept my defeat with grace. And Noah has enough on his plate with the animals, I shouldn’t burden him with this. You’ve won this round, wily serpent.

Crowley, getting choked up: Y-Yes, that’s right. I’m very wily. And evil. Don’t forget that.

Can someone please tell me what it means when an owl LITERALLY fucking swims towards you and then stares you down??

Like look at it?? Literally flew past me and my my friend, it was so close that the wings touched our faces.

It’s reminding you to do your Duolingo practice

The real answer is that it really wants you to go away

That’s a fledgling great horned owl, they’re known for being generally ballsy and aggressive, and owls have been known to both climb trees and swim through still water in a pinch

Most likely full scenario: the bird was practicing flying, but it fell because it’s still a kid and they do that. It probably fell in/by the water. It then was like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided it was not in fact a duck and headed to shore, saw you, and was utterly offended but confused on what to do. So it decided to Square Up and face you like the hellbeast it is.

The pose it’s taking in the pic is one I affectionately call Full Orb. A fully orbed owl is 100% READY to FIGHT 1v1 no items final destination. You were probably its first up close encounter with a human, and since birds tend to associate larger animals with predators, it tried to make itself look as big as possible to make sure you know what’s up. It was staring you down because it was waiting to see you make the first move in the dual or flee in fear from its superior owl might.

This reply made this post 101x better

me: oh hello little owl

owl: i will fuck you up

Ron Weasley: Yeah, my siblings give me a rough time, but that’s how it goes, you know? Like with all siblings, if you show any sort of weakness around them, they will mercilessly mock you for it for the rest of your life. I mean, Fred still throws spiders at me because he gave me my arachnophobia in the first place. Ginny repeatedly mocks my lack of masculinity compared to Harry, because she noticed that I’m insecure about that. Just normal sibling stuff. No biggie. 

The Patil Twins and the Creevey Brothers: 

They would probably adopt him before he or the Weasleys noticed or could say anything.

Now that’s a interesting AU idea.

Colin Creevy: Harry, I have concerns about how Ron’s siblings treat him

Harry: Why? The Weasely’s are a great family. No one is forced to sleep in a cupboard, his mum doesn’t swing frying pans at his head, his siblings don’t make a game of hunting him down and beating him, his extended relatives don’t sic bulldogs on him. They’re amazing! Colin:… Colin: Do…What….Harry can I borrow Hedwig? I need to write my Da real quick

Ok i love the Weasleys but i love this too!

Ravenclaws probably have, overall as a house, the worst grades in the school tbh. 

i feel as though ravenclaws would have driven Hermione Granger up a wall they neVER DO THEIR HOMEWORK??? I though this was the smart house???? and Ravenclaws are like yeah kay but GET THIS DID YOU KNOW AN ANIMAGUS - but potions homework - who even CARES about potions right now I’m researching this COOLER THING uncouple the idea of ‘smart’ with the idea of ‘good at school’

I bet for the professors teaching Ravenclaws is like herding cats away from empty boxes.

Older Ravenclaws have finely honed the art of asking just the right argumentative questions to direct their teacher onto an entire-class-session-long tangent about something entirely irrelevant to the course material. 

Can you imagine Ravenclaws trying to overhaul the entire school system with Muggle ideas. Trying to figure out how to best teach people, more concerned with how people learn than what they’re learning.

“Why do we force people to learn things they aren’t interested in, we should create our own curriculum.”

“We should figure out everyone’s learning styles.”

“We need smaller class sizes.”

“No, no, wait, guys, what if we eliminated grades entirely.”

Yeah, Ravenclaws would drive Hermione up the wall.

“Fire the whole staff and start over.”

“Present more opportunities for seventh-year independent research!”

“Why hasn’t anyone made magically modified calculators yet?”

“Why are we still using quills and parchment when pencils exist? Please explain.” “I don’t want to enter the work force directly after school, what are my options for higher education? Is there magical university?” “I don’t feel confident in my professor’s qualifications because she’s teaching me astrology but doesn’t know any facts about space beyond about the year 1764.”

Muggleborn Ravenclaws forming rogue study groups to teach other students chemistry and algebra and English literature, just imagine. 

“They call this the astronomy tower but we’re learning about the effects of Venus when it’s in the fourth house and the professor doesn’t believe Neptune is a planet I am really concerned.”

“Okay but what’s the oxidation state of Mandrake root in pepperup potion?”

“But can you apply differential calculus to arithmancy or not?“ 

“The portrayal of the witches in Macbeth has some pretty troubling implications, also, I don’t think their potion would have actually done anything.”

I can’t not reblog this holy frick

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

Hermione loves sharing classes with Ravenclaw students 3rd year and up just as much as it drives her absolutely fucking bugshit. Every time they direct the teacher onto a tangent, Hermione learns fascinating new things and has to make lots of notes on what to read up on so she can learn this, too. But the rest of it is her screaming BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ACTUAL CLASS, THIS IS ON OUR OWLS, PLEASE JUST LET THE TEACHER *MENTION* TODAY’S LESSON BEFORE YOU DERAIL CLASS ENTIRELY–

By 6th year, Hermione’s eye has developed a specific twitch every time someone mentions Ravenclaw.

There are many reasons why Hermione is a Gryffindor instead of a Ravenclaw but this one just reached my top 1

KHDFKJGHSDKJGHSJK EMBARRASSING CONFESSION TIME 

I’ve never seen pan’s labyrinth so I decided to watch it cause it’s on netflix and when it started I was like “huh this is only from 2006? weird, idk why I thought it was so much older… guess I just had that wrong in my head” 

but I’m watchin, I’m havin a good time, I’m seeing familiar shots from gifs and stuff, but as it’s going on I’m thinking 

“you know, this is a pretty serious movie”

“tonally, I don’t know how glam rock david bowie is going to fit into this”

SUFFICE IT TO SAY, I’VE NEVER SEEN LABYRINTH EITHER AND IT TOOK ME A FULL TWO HOURS TO FIGURE OUT THEY’RE NOT THE SAME MOVIE

I truly love the line: “Now go to sleep, or I’ll sell all your toys.” Because it is legit just SO Tony. Like he’s the same guy we’ve grown to love, he’s just interpreted that into being a father. No offence to some fanfictions (I love and read them all whenever I can!) but often stories seem to change Tony’s character when he becomes a dad, almost making him this perfect cliche parent who loses some of his funny snark.

And I REALLY love Morgan’s reaction after he says it because you know he says this kind of thing all the time but obviously it’s not serious. Like Morgan definitely has her dad firmly wrapped around her finger.

this was most pure thing that got me in the gut because it was blatant confirmation of something we already knew: the way he talked to his bots WAS loving, and his bots and AIs WERE his children, and they KNEW that they were loved. Morgan giggles happily, obviously adoring her big softie father for saying silly things like that AFTER he found her wide awake when she should be sleeping, and gave her sweet treat she wanted instead of scolding her??? every interaction they had was adoring and sweet, but it’s exactly tony we knew since first iron man movie.

i am absolutely dragging myself through grading my last 6 papers, it is 9:30pm, and one of my favorite students has just used the phrase “Satan and his Gucci gang” in his milton essay

Give Hector an A

Time for my bedtime story *opens up 70k+ fanfiction*