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Courtney Lynne! :)

@currentlycreatingme / currentlycreatingme.tumblr.com

My name's Courtney, and I'm still doing my best to figure out who I am and who I'm going to be. I prefer to live within the worlds of my books & tv shows! :)
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You know, that old saying/cliche about not letting other’s opinion of you affect the way you see yourself is one of the hardest pieces of advice I’ve ever followed...

I grew up in a super small town and knew all the same people for the better part of 15 years. I surrounded myself with negative people who ate away at my self-esteem while their ghosts haunted me and whispered all my faults in my ears every single day - even when I no longer spoke to them regularly.

It took moving away from that place (like over 7 hours away) to let those ghosts rest and fade away for me to hear clearly for the first time in forever. The “friends” who turned their backs on me and talked shit the second I didn’t kiss their ass were never really my friends at all, and their opinions never should’ve impacted how I felt about myself in the first place.

Now, I’m going back home to visit for the first time since I moved (over a year ago) for the holidays. I am finally in a good mental head space and genuinely like the person I am most days (hey, we all have our insecurities from time to time), but I am terrified that I am going to get sucked back into the drama and the self doubt as soon as I cross those county lines into my small hometown...

#musings#late night thoughts#ramblings#late night rambles#what’s on my mind
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kellyseveride
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mush-dooms

me: “I have social anxiety”

what people hear: “I am a bit shy”

what the internet reads: “OwO cute shy boi,,must protecc!! hehe so quirky!1!!”

what social anxiety really is: taking months of knowing someone to feel comfortable enough to have a real conversation, your mind going blank during small talk, inability to participate in groups of more than three people, mentally rehearsing “simple” tasks such as ordering food or making a phone call and your heart racing anyway, constantly feeling watched, being afraid of getting places too early or too late, fear of being judged over the most random things (”is this a socially acceptable ice cream flavor to buy?” “what if they think my shampoo is weird” “will they hate me if I get up to throw my trash away?” “what if I emptied the dishwasher wrong!”), having panic attacks when you have to ask a teacher for help, constantly feeling left out or excluded even with friends, your hands shaking when you get called on in class, being overwhelmed in crowds and public transportation, disliking being touched, perpetual fear of disappointing those in authority, overall difficulty forming relationships, missing out on milestones or social events because you either have no friends to go with or know it will be overwhelming, preferring to be in groups of three so that conversation isn’t solely up to you, making so many everyday tasks so much more difficult than they need to be due to a crushing fear of being judged by random strangers you will literally never see again and needing to be seen as flawless

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rcaeken
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helcna

do you have those memories that are really cringey and you never speak of and something triggers the memory and you want to fucking wash your brain out with bleach

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marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer
Anonymous asked:

I'm super salty and heartbroken. Yes. I am a LoVe fan, BUT.. Logan had come so far as a human being. Successful career outside of what would have been easy, therapy, a very secure chill about his temperament. Then you have Veronica, who was pretty manipulative and mean to him most of the episodes. She was always fairly self-centered, in my opinion, but s4 was awful. So after getting treated like dirt, they end his story like this?? 15 years.. this is gonna take me awhile

marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer answered:

The way he was killed off is not unlike having a female character fridged to advance the male’s arc. The fact that the genders are reversed does not make it any better. 

Taking LoVe out of the equation, Logan as a character and Jason as an actor were done a disservice. If the story organically required him to die, which is highly debatable considering the idiotic direction RT and KB want to take the show in, then he should have been sent off in a manner deserving and fitting to the character and his history in the show.

Don’t get me wrong, Logan’s death would have been utterly devastating no matter what, but had it been written properly allowing for both the characters and the fans to mourn him and to actually see his lasting legacy on the show, then I would’ve been able to at least envision a moment in the future when I could begin to accept it.

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currentlycreatingme

Yes! All of this, yes!

#Veronica Mars
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Veronica Mars Season 4

This. Is. Bullshit.

This. Fucking. Sucks.

I just wasted 8 hours of my life, and I now wish they had never done anything more after the movie. Fuck whoever made *THAT* terrible decision.

Also, if I could figure out what was going to happen, liked specifically by Veronica’s last conversation with the bomber, she sure as hell should have been able to. Ugh, literally so fucking pissed off about this.

#Veronica Mars#VMars#Hulu#Season 4#No Spoilers
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