im only dreaming

@mostbeautifulgirl / mostbeautifulgirl.tumblr.com

dani | 22 | she | huge lesbian ♐ ☼ | ♈ ☾ | ♋ ↑ pls read my about!!
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ursulaklegun

Everyone is like “fuck the police” until someone’s suicidal, then it’s “rely on the police! They won’t kill you!” Like bro if I was suicidal and one of my friends called the cops on my ethnically ambiguous autistic ass I’d never talk to them again

Like if you call the cops on a person with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, a personality disorder, etc...if you call the cops on a black or brown person...if you call the cops on an autistic person, ESPECIALLY if they’re nonverbal...if you call the cops on someone who is a combination of those things...well, if blood spills, it’s on your hands!

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sometimes i think gay (& bisexual) men need to dial back on how willing they are to let straight cis women in our spaces

and like, that’s a loaded phrase – this obviously isn’t all gay men, and i know that at the end of the day a handful of straight girls being at a gay bar isn’t the worst thing that could possibly happen… but as a lesbian i feel a lot of painful emotions about cishet women being in my spaces, especially when they’re sometimes chosen before women like me.

the other day i was on a social media site (that isn’t tumblr) and a straight woman made a post about how she felt included and wanted to be a good ally but felt left out and worried that she’d be “ruining the gay atmosphere” or what have you by being in gay social circles and being straight. lots of gay men responded with things like “you belong here!!!” and “we’ll take care of you!”

and man, i couldn’t help but feel a little burned. i know the idea that straight women and gay men get along famously (because of their “shared” love of men) is in large part a big heterosexual scam by the media to make straight women more accepting towards gay culture, but i really do see things like this happen sometimes and it can really fucking sting

i mean, i would imagine any lesbian, bi, or trans woman being passed over in favor of the company of cishet women would be hurt because we’re actually a PART of the lgbt community, and that’s an obvious factor here – but the thing that really hurts is how gay men so rarely consider our feelings about the matter anyways.

i think a lot of gay and bisexual men don’t understand the complex relationship between lgbt women and straight cis women. i don’t think they understand that our relationships with cishet women can absolutely be as traumatizing as their relationships with cishet men.

this cishet woman came into a gay space to wax poetic about being an ally and how she worried she didn’t belong – and all i could think of was the hundreds of times i’ve been in HER spaces feeling like i didn’t belong. and spaces for cishet women are everywhere – i feel out of place at the hair salon and the clothing store and the mall and the straight bar and the movie theaters full of straight movies.

for lgbt women cishet women are our mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and even children. we have spent our whole lives carrying the weight of knowing we are not like them. i don’t even think it’s entirely the fault of gay & bisexual men that they don’t understand the depth of our oppression or our experiences with cishet women and the damage it’s done to our womanhood – there isn’t a lot of media that has bothered to explore it. the average person doesn’t understand the volumes of unspoken pain cishet women have caused lgbt women, even if they are completely aware of the damage cishet men do

a part of me really believes that this behavior isn’t so much gay & bisexual men choosing to side with and throw their lot in with straight women as it is a fundamental lack of understanding of the women in their own community. and it hurts.

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the idea that humans are a garbage species is so obnoxious no one talks about the peaceful parts of history and prehistory because they aren’t as exciting as us killing each other but um homo sapiens have been doing awesome things all over for a long time….we survived the fucking ice age…we made it through the sinai desert….we shared the savana with big cats before we ever made a weapon, we wove baskets from literal plants and halved blades from flint to handles we made, carved harpoons from bone and fought megafauna for our loved ones, cooked food and took care of the elderly and buried our dead, painted pictures and shared stories, built homes from clay and mud and straw, made instruments so we could dance and sing…it is so easy to focus on the negative and i get it ok we are in the middle of a mass extinction event that specific humans are at fault for but listen: they don’t want you to remember it hasn’t always been like this…we were and are so much more than evil

It’s not just in ancient times either! A whole neighborhood recently blockaded their neighbors car to prevent them being abducted by ice and made sure they had gas for ac and food and water and stayed out there protecting them in the summer heat FOR HOURS a whole community faced a terrifying situation with so much love for a family in their community and so much defiance and courage its incredible, people can do amazing things when we act from love and courage and take care of eachother and it’s happening all around you all the time, don’t let them convince you people are inherintely selfish or bad

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Help please!

I’m a mentally ill trans woman on a very low income, and it would very much improve my quality of life if I could afford:

  • a new box spring (currently just a cracked wooden+cardboard foundation, hurts my back)
  • hormones for next month
  • seeing a therapist 

Any donations are greatly appreciated. 

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help out a mentally ill lesbian during pride month?

hey friends.. i try not to do this very often but i recently lost my job due to mental health struggles and im trying to get back on track.. i just found out that treatment for my scoliosis might not be covered for reimbursement under my insurance like i previously was led to believe, and so that’s upwards of $200 that i probably wont be getting back.. that’s a big hit for me while i have no job.. id appreciate any help i can get..

my paypal is here

thank you in advance

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This will be my last attempt but I’m actually starving. Like right now in this exact moment and my bank account is still in the negatives and I still don’t have a job. I know most of us aren’t in a position to give out money and the few that are just don’t want to. But if y’all can please just reblog this post so the few people who can and are willing to help can actually help me, I’d really appreciate it. I just need a few dollars to get some food in my place. That’s my only goal right now.

Cash app: $lilithson

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cheeso

shower gel label:  immerse your self in this new   “Me Time” luxury   fruity tooty.    abandon all sense of identity and dissolve  Your memories into this   soothing chemical broth    One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely

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tenaclty
saturn reaches for us. she’s a virus, a cancer; her body twists and floats into shapes we don’t have names for, her fingertips leave scorch marks everywhere she drags them. the things she touches change so fast and so much that we hardly recognize them anymore.
but isn’t it sweet, to escape what we know? she sure seems to think so.

I had this in my art folder for so long figuring I would do one for luna terra and pluto too but like. I don’t think it’s happening, everyone

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hm y'all need to be nicer to straight trans people

this isn’t just about “no straights at pride!” this is about the fact that cis lgb people NEVER acknowledge trans people in their activism and that includes straight trans people. because being het somehow magically means they’re privileged? like hello they’re trans? did you forget transphobia exists? and the way cis gays treat trans gays? it’s abhorrent.

this pride month y'all better acknowledge our straight trans siblings and be the best cis ally you can be and acknowledge your privilege instead of throwing straight trans people under the bus.

cis people SHOULD reblog this

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drearyhours

unpopular opinion but i think the film and tv industries should have better labor laws even if it makes it harder or impossible to depict certain things

i dont care if it makes it harder to produce game of thrones or whatever, acting should not leave women traumatized

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squeeful

Okay I know this is about acting and people are getting more traction about it (sexuality safety coordinators are a job! yell about them. demand your shows get them) but

Any person who has worked on a set for more than a few years has at least one person they know who died.  

Not usually on set, but afterwards.  Because we don’t have anyone shutting down production for unsafe practices when “unsafe” means 16 hour days.  Or more.  For weeks.  Finishing a day before hour 12 (not including lunch) is considered an early leave.

I had teachers tell us not to, unless we absolutely had to, take music video gigs because they’ll work you for 24 hours and send you to drive home.  And if we had to work that, pull over and nap in our car because multiple people per year fall asleep at the wheel and go over the canyons around LA.

I know you mean acting but please.  Don’t forget the crew.  We have a shockingly high rate of suicide because these working schedules leave us with no sleep, no time outside of work, and it destroys lives, relationships, and families.  Burnout is high.  Chronic illness and broken bodies are common.  Cocaine use in order to get through a 20 hour day is rampant.  Every single one of your reality shows is fueled by cocaine.

The number of days that are scheduled to shoot a feature has shrunk dramatically in the past two decades.  Which means longer days.

Netflix shows are notorious for being poorly organized, understaffed, and long days.

There are labor laws but what they do is levy fines.  Those fines are either factored into budget, people are bullied into not reporting actual hours, or crew members see them as incentive to take those jobs because more money and cost of living is high.  (Also this industry has a crew culture of dick measuring by sticking your wang in a blender and boasting about how many 100 hour weeks you pulled.)

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alexazombie

this can be applied for people working in animation as well. Like I know people who work at Pixar and they straight up work 12 hour days and go into work on weekends to meet their deadlines. The incredibles 2 made over a billion dollars and Pixar still cut jobs due to “budget”. The entertainment industry is a business at the end of the day. There here to make money and they are going to do it at the expense of workers because they know no one is going to do anything about it.

This is why I get pissy when people have a go about British TV shows only producing 10-12 episodes per season at most, instead of 24. Do you know why? Because the UK has fucking labour laws.

When I worked on BBC Causalty, as soon as it hit 5pm, everything stopped. The producer/director etc would have a quick meeting to decide if we’d go into overtime or schedule it in later in the week. And I got an extra payslip in the mail for every minute of overtime I did, even though I was paid a weekly rate.

I don’t care if it means producing less content. I don’t care if it means it costs twice as much - if treating your creatives and your crew like shit is needed to make your show, then your show doesn’t deserve to get made.

And that’s aside from the fact that actors are often exploited, neglected, coerced into doing scenes they’re uncomfortable with etc or outright abused by directors for the sake of ~performance.

No art is worth that.

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so uh. we just received a 3-day eviction notice, this has very suddenly gotten more urgent

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