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lyssbrainrot.com

@mightybackpain / mightybackpain.tumblr.com

she/her | yo i publicize my feelings, how u doin?
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about me

hello, i’m lyss. i’m 16 as of 2021.

uhh i lov all my mutuals on here. am interested in learning a lot of things. i wanna be a writer when i grow uppp. mmm fuck capitalism, shit on the patriarchy, love whoever the fuck u want. 

i got too much hands in my time

 - my music taste consists of: mitski, lana del ray, mother mother, ricky montgomery, dodie, melanie martinez, I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, saint motel, etc (idrc i love all music).

- i’m in IBDP Y1: taking English A HL, Biology SL, Visual Arts HL, French ab initio SL, Psychology HL and Math AI AL </3.

- my top movies are: the princess and the frog, the edge of seventeen, easy A, the half of it, baby driver, now you see me 2, da vinvi code, gone girl.

- ahh yes top shows: attack on titan, BBC sherlock holmes, girlboss, the midnight gospel, anne with an E, girl from nowhere.

- not to brag but i have loved bo burnham LONGG before tiktok ruined it for me lmao

- my favourite winding-down activities: read Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari, drink kombucha, make too many spotify playlists, rot in netflix, organise my pinterest boards, scribble silly lil things on my diary, wear my favourite jacket, lots of naps and meditate :)

- i’m either an INFP or INTP(?); cancer sun/leo moon/aquarius rising – im not super into mbti types and zodiac signs tho, i hate the thought of being restricted to them and who am i to judge people based on character social constructs ew

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smokefalls
Loneliness could do that to you. In the solitary moments, reality became undone and the physical laws ceased to abide by their promises, especially in that time between woke and slumber, which is when the boundary between here and there was at its thinnest.

Robert Jones, Jr., The Prophets (via smokefalls)

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reblogged

I wanna do a thing

Make yourself in picrew and then the ideal version of you and not the societal ideal the way you wish you looked

https://picrew.me/image_maker/257476

I am,,, sad. then? happy. gimme a scythe and a book any day.

@makncheeseee05​ @heephop​

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rant 09/08

why do i hate conflict but am always yearning for one? when theres nothing wrong in my life, im always protecting myself in case someone’d hurt me. weirdly i’d secretly wish they would because i genuinely feel like im incapable of being loved. im obsessed with the thought of being broken, and building myself up again. yet when i am in such a situation, i withdraw and i hate myself for it. but i do enjoy it, a bit, i enjoy the burning sensation it leaves on my wrists. i enjoy crying myself to sleep and waking up with puffy eyes and damped pillows. i enjoy staring at the shower wall as i fantasise about death without actually having the guts to do it. to end this. this cycle of pain. im stuck in between hanging in there and leaving it- because im scared. does it make me a coward? i hate it, and i love it. i love fucking myself up and being afraid of the thing in the mirror. i love screaming at the dark and laughing it off when someone questions. i love gazing at the jakarta sky, deprived of stars, the loneliness it fills me. hollow i am hollow. my shallow shadow, how it stretches upon the pavement and consumes me. then i’d feel so stupid big and stupid small. fuck i am in love. with the handsome demon who haunts my mind. i am in love. with past scars and past scribbles on the wall. reminding me that i am never good enough. i am a freak for this.

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Between myself and everybody I could think of, there’s always a vastness of space. Have you ever clung yourself hard to someone, as much as your skin could take- and still you’d shiver? Cold is stubborn, I am weak to be bothered by the cold. Cold persists, it follows me in my highs and lows. Cold is lonely, cold is scared. Seems like I’m too busy falling in to care.

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to die for

1st poem after my burnout

The princess of death wears high heeled boots.

The volume of her lips are kissable as fruit.

Forbid, forbid – I’m a moth to her lips.

Decay, decay – All my words go to waste;

Leaves me hanging; 

Travelling down these morbid pits, unkissed.

With the time I have left, I dream of your taste.

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🍓 — romanticize your life — 🌿

What are you in the mood for today? Each is linked to a video on YT with at least 1 hour of music. Play when you’re doing your morning routine, washing your dishes, working in your garden, cleaning your room, studying for school or just about anything else; riding the bus, grocery shopping, going to the laundromat.

I think any moment has the potential to be special.

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” — Winnie the Pooh

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