“your next line is...”

literally this

the lengths that films will go to avoid showing cock is astounding and shameful

Art by @kightek

remember that pic of the my little pony saying ”ok so 12 pounds of crake 15 pounds of cokane and 7 male stripers.” i need it

…so are we gonna eat the rich now

T H E M

those westerns finally make sense now. it’s like honey i’m going into town. i’ll pick up sugar, flour, beans, salt pork, bullets, and kerosene. do you want a bolt of calico? some maple syrup? i’m taking the wagon i’ll be back in three days

Quarantine gothic, or the utterly disconcerting image of a closed Waffle House

fuck.

Wait no this is the wrong dystopian future we were meant to be gay outlaws in a nuclear desert

give it a few weeks

Some of you will see the warning on q-tips saying “don’t insert into ear canal” and take it seriously like some kind of chump. They want your ears full up so you can’t hear the world around you. My shits so polished clean I can hear the constant shriek of the earth turning on its axis.

I have tinnitus

honestly the best thing i’ve done in the past year was replacing “i wanna die” with “i wanna commit a crime.” same humor and sentiment without the suicidal ideation

thank you SO much for this tag

Question: how long does a stick of deodorant last you?

Usually only 3 or 4 bites.

Why do I even bother