Snooze zone

🕷️pol🕷️

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

yeah Romeo and Juliet suuucks they should’ve both survived at the end and lived happily ever after instead. but of course the writer kills them both off for shock value.

They also should've been garden gnomes

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it with the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

what if urameshi… but girl… and sukeban 👉💥

i recently started yyh b/c it is on netflix now (when did that happen) anyways the dub especially makes me laugh truly some bangers in there

Girl with Pearl Earring, at the museum - Johannes Vermeer

there's a cherry blossom tree in DC that keeps blooming every year even though it shouldn't and the park service keeps thinking it's dead and then it keeps blooming! well they're removing a lot of trees to rehabilitate the area and they've said it's finally time for stumpy to go and they're going to mulch it and use the mulch to enrich all the other trees so it can help everything else keep going. and they're also going to plant spliced little pieces of it all over so that stumpy can live forever and this is genuinely sending me into a spiral

someone brought it flowers today

STUMPY MY BELOVED!!!!

For added context on what rehabilitating the area means: there are structural issues with the Tidal Basin seawall that cause flooding like this independent of rainfall. Big portions of the sidewalk in Stumpy’s section are regularly submerged, which is bad for the land and the trees themselves, not to mention an accessibility issue for visitors.

It’s sad that Stumpy and many other trees in the area will need to be cut down, but it will ensure the continued survival of the other trees in the area, and Stumpy himself will live on in his cuttings!

I believe Stumpy will be taken to the national arboretum and his clones will return to the tidal basin after the rebuilding.

Someone left him a bottle of bourbon as an offering.

The Japanese Embassy came to pay him honor this week.

Stumpy and his cohort are part of the original gift from Japan more than 100 years ago, and many have lived this long bc the National Parks takes care of them. Normally the trees live about 40-50 years.

winter date with haley ❄️

winter leah!! wife wfie wfie fwife wi

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

for a moment i lived in a beautiful world where doctor who didn’t exist and this was simply a seven-ate-nine joke too layered for me to understand

I know I'm a bit late to this trend but I can't stop thinking about it now. The Host Club if you asked them to peel an orange for you:

Haruhi: Is a little confused on why you can't do it yourself, but still does it. Hands you a decently peeled orange when she's done.

Tamaki: Declares something dramatic about oranges and you. Bonus points if you're a girl. Bonus bonus points if you're a club guest. Spins around and gets on one knee and presents the orange to you like he's proposing. The orange is ruined.

Hikaru: Does it but complains about it and hands it back to you way too quickly. The orange is mutilated. It has gashes all over it and it's still covered in pulp. He plonks it directly in your hand and the juices get all over it. (He has never peeled and orange before)

Kaoru: Says no (politely!!) And says you should give it to Hikaru. Do NOT give it Hikaru under this condition. You'll either get back an even worse orange, or he'll eat it right in front of you.

Kyoya: Says yes and then immediately hands it to someone else to peel. Makes sure you see it too. If you're close to him he may make a comment about how he'd never stoop so low he'd do something like this and that you should have known.

Honey: Says, "🌸No thank you!🌸" And skips off. You're not sure why he said no thank you? But at least he was polite.

Mori: Peels the orange like a normal person. Is very pleased you asked him. He might even smile at you when he gives it back:)

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (2019)

take your time