You're not a nobody. That's the last thing you are

None of these are exaggerations.

Bringing it back due to current events.

I’m almost afraid to ask… which events?

That stupid “man or bear in the woods” meme.

Where a lot of people on Team Bear said men’s negative reactions to Team Bear proved Team Bear was right.

I don’t remember seeing a single person on Team Bear who bothered to actually address any of the criticisms, unless you count claiming that men “can’t understand” why women would pick Team Bear.

As if understanding = agreement.

And, of course, they ignored the many women who also disagreed.

whys his whole shit out for everybody to see😕

finally some fucking decency

Thongus Amongus

Sorry but you all need to see this tag by @sylvr7070-evolved

Daily Mirror, England, January 23, 1923 Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.

I forget who originally said it, but there’s a quote about “Great science fiction isn’t predicting the automobile, it’s predicting the traffic jam”

let's be bad at video games together

A rabbi, a samurai, and a sex pervert walk into a bar. The bartender says "what will you guys be having today". The rabbi says "do you have anything kosher?" and the bartender replies that he'll check in the back. While he's gone, the samurai turns to the rabbi and says "kosher... explain this to me. Why is it that you will not eat certain foods, even if they are perfectly good?"

The rabbi replies, in a stereotypical rabbi voice, "Keeping kosher is part of the Jewish law. We are loyal to G-d, and we express that loyalty by following the laws that G-d has set."

The samurai contemplates this for a moment, letting out a deep, manly, baritone, sexy, almost erotic but at the same time stoic and serious, stereotypical samurai grunt, and says "so you are a people of Honor... loyalty to one's master is an Honorable thing."

The samurai then turns to the sex pervert. "How about you, sex pervert? Do you have Honor?"

The sex pervert says "yes I do, samurai san. When I do all kinds of crazy sex shit, like upside-down fucking and the forbidden Greek Trombone technique, I always make sure to establish a safe word with my partner in case things get too wild. Even in the midst of a ridiculous sex party where we're all putting lampshades on our heads and running around with our dicks out, I would respect that safe word."

The samurai contemplates for a minute. "Hmm. In a way, that is Honorable. According to bushidō, a samurai must always abide by his word".

Then, they hear a noise in the bushes outside. The camera zooms in on the samurai and his eyes tighten and he gets ready to draw his sword. The rabbi looks concerned but not fearful, hopeful that he can convince any would-be attacker to show the trio mercy. The sex pervert gets a little hard, just in case whoever comes out of the bushes might want to have sex with him. But, the guy who comes out of the bushes turns out to be the pizza guy! He's delivering a pizza to another client at the bar.

After that, the rabbi, samurai, and sex pervert leave the bar, having understood each other's ideologies just a little bit better.

The real question is, which ideology do you support when you're making a decision about who to vote for - Judaism, Sex Perversion, or Bushido?

And THIS now begs the question: are any of these ideologies mutually exclusive?

A Jewish samurai sex pervert walked into a bar

VOTE Shlomo "Schlong Sucky" Sasaki for president

I thought this was building up to a katana circumcision punch line. Also katana circumcision dot tumblr dot com

KLK (2013)

the thing is the king charles portrait is genuinely incredible and exactly how I would execute a portrait of a member of the british royal family but also I literally cannot fathom why the british royal family would have it made

like yeah if I were going to make a portrait of king charles I would absolutely have just his smugly smirking face leering out of a mass of red that could only be read as blood and gore, and have his military uniform fading ambiguously into the same background to lay bare the brutality of imperialism concealed by the pomp and ceremony of the british state, and make the entire thing sort of look like it was decaying to indicate the rot of the empire. like I really struggle to imagine a better visual metaphor for the nightmarish history of a dying empire than the king's spiffy military uniform and saber and sash and rows of epaulets being literally made out of a rotting field of blood and gore. but like why did he have it commissioned... why did he have it MADE and then say Looks great I'm putting it on the wall... HE EVEN LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN HELL

I thought this was a parody. Nope, it's real. Also it was commissioned by the Worshipful Company of Drapers, a medieval guild of wool and cloth merchants that is now a philanthropy.

Homemade Gravlax

When BoJack Horseman (2014-2020) said "you can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it ok. you need to be better" and "all we have are the connections we make" and "I really should've thought about the view from halfway down" and "sometimes you have to take responsibility for your own happiness" and "you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, you turn yourself around, THAT'S what it's all about" and "things have to get worse before they can get better" and "in real life, the big gesture isn't enough, you need to be consistent" and "if we hadn't met each other until now, we wouldn't be the people we are now" and, my personal favourite, "every day it gets a little easier, but you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part, but it does get easier".

(Source)