@heypasstheegg on Tumblr

heypasstheegg reblogged

slimetony

peoplegettingkindamadatfood

heypasstheegg reblogged

silverbuttercups

sovietnam

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silverbuttercups

unbearable-swagger

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

heypasstheegg reblogged

soulsilv

hymnism

heypasstheegg reblogged

scummiezzz

amygdalae

Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

amygdalae

Good points. Wait what was that first thing

ahdor

heypasstheegg reblogged

If I was Jesus I would’ve simply said no dad this is your dream

heresylog

*me trying to explain that Jesus was God to the average tumblr user* So in Steven Universe, Rose was—

heypasstheegg reblogged

sexysilverstrider

octobersociety

stalker-among-the-stars

There is another way

saintofpride201

By the Nine, keep your whore mouth shut

lierdumoa

Pretty sure the other way involves keeping your whore mouth open

space-blue

heypasstheegg reblogged

scummiezzz

iguanamouth

Anonymous asked:

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

iguanamouth answered:

thetyrannosaur

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

heypasstheegg reblogged

pondmermaid

thenyanguardparty

usamericans do really love making posts about parking lots. i met god in a parking lot. fighting my ex in a parking lot. it's like their main biome

#The parking lot is where you encounter hostile mobs

heypasstheegg reblogged

scummiezzz

cthulhu-with-a-fez

heypasstheegg reblogged

scummiezzz

assiraphales

society really lost the war when dressing nice / slutty = “gay” “metrosexual” “is he 💅🏻”. we had decades of men wearing crop tops and short shorts without blinking an eye and now it’s ye ole pilgrim standards and talk of scandal if they show their knees

assiraphales

they were FASHIONISTAS!!! and we SHAMED them!!!

assiraphales

the fact that men used to be able to dress like that and no one said a thing but chris pine stepped outside in this and there’s dozens of articles about him & his reaction to the criticism?

stand UP kings. bring back the thighs and the tummies!!!!!!

heypasstheegg reblogged

slimetony

BUGS ON MY BED

HELP ME GET THESE BUGS OFF MY BED

cheddar-baby

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sexysilverstrider

sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship
miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR
cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not
fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee
europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”
fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”
pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

the tags on this post are some of the funniest i’ve ever seen in my notifications but this one made me choke on my Mohammedan Gruel

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE

heypasstheegg reblogged

thehistorychannel

tothechaos

daddy has to be honest kitten. i think we're going to have to sublease and turn the sex dungeon into a bedroom again. the rent is going up and your asmr slime youtube isnt taking off like we thought it would