princissa:
The two of their replies came almost in unison. James understood, of course, it made sense to him because he could feel it too. He didn’t need some big explanation to get where she was trying to go with this. But Greer was still confused and telling her she had so many more options for people she could be with. She shook her head in response, trying her best to find the words to explain herself. ❝I just…I know it all sounds crazy but it’s something you need to trust me on. And like he said it’s something I didn’t want getting out, so if we could keep this between us?❞
Greer began to get closer and her hand was no longer holding hers but rather cupping her cheek now. Narcissa didn’t have much time to process where she was going with this before Greer’s lips found hers.
Narcissa had felt herself kissing back out of pure instinct until it started to click in her brain what was happening. Greer had just kissed her. Greer Nott. Someone she considered to be a good friend was kissing her and she had no idea where this came from or why. With James’ hand still in hers, she suddenly squeezed tighter on his fingers as Greer pulled away from her, worried about what he was thinking about this. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. The Hufflepuff had planted a kiss on her lips and was now holding her close and confessing that Narcissa deserved better, that she could love her better than James could.
❝Greer, I-where is this coming from? I had no idea…❞ she managed to spit out. Narcissa never picked up on any of these feelings Greer seemed to have for her and if this were anyone else, Narcissa probably would have let them down harshly. An ‘I like him, not you’ type of response, but Narcissa didn’t want to be harsh with Greer. She wanted her to understand what was going on and stay her friend after all this.
❝I know that you don’t like him, you’ve made that pretty clear, but I just want you to understand that…I’m happy.❞ she told her softly, bringing her hands to gently remove Greer’s hands from cupping her face. ❝I’ve never been with someone and felt this way before and it’s nice. We do really care about each other and it isn’t something I can change.❞ Taking a step back, Narcissa went and held James’ hand once more, resting her head on his arm, hoping Greer could see what she was getting at. ❝I’m really flattered but I’m sorry Greer, I really want to be your friend. I like being with James and I’m not looking for any other options.❞
The moment Greer’s lips touched Narcissa’s, James was stunned, held in place by shock and brought back to reality by the squeezing of his hand by Narcissa’s fingers. Everything made sense all at once, in a dizzying and quite alarming way. Everything she had said to him or about him vanished from his mind because he knew that whether she liked him or not wasn’t the issue. Her words may have been personal, but they were born out of jealousy for what she obviously now knew he had with Narcissa. She wanted her friend the same way that James did, perhaps she even loved Narcissa romantically the way James was still slightly afraid to admit that he did. He gently tugged on Narcissa’s hand, in a fleeting attempt to pull her away from Greer but she wouldn’t manhandle her.
Instead, he would settle with glaring at Greer for having touched the lips of the girl he was with and hope that the clenched fist free of Narcissa’s touch would stay balled at his side. He wanted to laugh at her, or taunt her in some way, the old James rising to the surface telling him to do as she had done, now he had the ammunition but he wouldn’t do it. He forced himself to keep quiet. It was Narcissa’s choice what she wanted to do. Not his. “You don’t know me or how I feel for Narcissa, your words are simply those of a jealous girl in love with her friend and I’m sorry. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone but like she said, she is happy with me and she makes me happier than I ever thought I could be” his words may have sounded as though they had a bite too them, but his tone was even as he spoke, his fist unclenching itself.
Narcissa had said she wasn’t looking for any other option and that was all he had needed to hear. The fact that he was the only one she wanted to be with made his heart soar but when he looked at Greer’s face, he understood the pain and anger. How many times had he felt it for Lily? Rejection hurt, and for someone he hated? Worse. He had moved on however, he had grown up and Narcissa had waltzed into his heart and refused to leave it, and he wouldn’t have changed that for the world. When she rested her head against his arm he wrapped his arm around her. “Do you want me to leave so you can speak with your friend alone, Narcissa?” he asked, looking only at her. He trusted her, he knew that Greer would not be able to take her away from him. He turned to Greer and spoke, calmly, “if you’re going to tell reveal our secret then at least let her know so she can prepare herself”.
This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening, this was not how this was supposed to go. Greer kept repeating this in her head but it didn’t help, because Cissa was still talking and with every word she said, Greer’s chances of ever actually being with her got further and further from reality and from happening and she just couldn’t believe this was happening. It felt like Cissa just ripped out her heart, threw it onto the floor and with every word, stepped on it with heels to make sure it was broken.
If she would have looked at the girl’s words objectively, she could have been able to tell that she was letting her down as nicely as it was possible in a situation like this, but in that moment there was no objectivity in anything Greer was doing or feeling, and she could only see the rejection and not how the other one did it. Rejection just hurt no matter the way it was done.
And that Potter made things even worse by... well, by basically being there, being supportive of Cissa, touching Cissa, standing up for Cissa and just existing and breathing the same air as the two of them did. And then he opened his mouth and she really just wanted to punch him again, slap him, kick him in the groin, do all of it together and even more, but she was frozen in plane, only staring at Cissa as the girl rested her head against his arm and James wrapping his hand around her and the pain was just too much and she just didn’t know how to take this, how to handle this, what to even say or do, she just hoped she could get through this without crying because she felt like she was going to cry if she didn’t get out of there soon enough.
She took a step backward when James suggested that they would need some time to talk this through, the spell that got her frozen was gone and she let out a scoff. She forced all the pain away as much as she could and she turned her features expressionless. “We’ve got nothing to talk about. Everything is completely clear,” she said and then she turned around and walked off. James was probably right, but she wasn’t in her right mind and there was no fucking way she was going to humiliate herself even more by talking through the rejection, analyzing every little tidbit. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get through it anyway.
And that little bit about Narcissa having to worry about her telling anyone? She might just do that, she wasn’t sure, but she sure as hell not going to say anything about it to Narcissa. She could spend at least a couple of hours worrying about this. That much she deserved for all of this.