Tubi’s more popular than divorce. 75 million people watch Tubi every month. 29 million get divorced every year.

1000 reblogs and ill pay david hayter on cameo to say this

that trope where the villain says to the hero "we're not so different, you know" or something along those lines and it causes the hero to question themselves and their actions is premium angst material but personally if it was me i wouldn't be intimidated by that at all. if some asshole with low standards had the audacity to compare themselves to ME, it'd be all the motivation i needed to kick their ass.

your vibes are rancid. your aesthetic is weak. your motives are stupid. your monologues are corny. you wish. you fucking WISH you were me.

❝ 𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ❞

✧ pairing: rich boy! gojo x bodyguard! reader

✧ summary: after the gojo family receives threats to their lives, you're hired to protect the heir to the company, satoru gojo - you just didn't realize how charming the rich heir would be - and just how hard it would be to resist his advances.

✧ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, fluff, reader is around the same age as gojo (both in their 20s but age is vague), virgin! gojo, switch! gojo, oral (f + m), handjob (m), dry humping, fingering (f! receiving), sex (p in v), depictions of violence, mentions of yakuza, dirty business dealings, gojo's made up dad and suguru make an appearance

✧ wc: 15,311 (i don't know what to say at this point)

✧ for my 2k celebration event: item 1 has been sold to @forest-hashira and two anons!

“So, is this your first time?”

Satoru Gojo would be the end of you — one way or another. 

One way would be you sacrificing your life to protect him — fairly run of the mill when it came to guarding someone, the risk of putting your life on the line, though the chance of death usually was fairly slim. You had only come close — twice. 

You didn’t care to make it a third. 

The other, increasingly more likely, way was that you would lose your mind to his incessant yammering before you even had a chance to neutralize any threat to his life. 

You nearly spit out your drink at the question, wiping your mouth with a napkin, before managin to choke it down, “Excuse me?” 

And his lips annoyingly curl, “Your first time guarding someone,” 

The heir seemed fairly nonchalant, even after his father had sat the both of you down in a room filled with more security agents than the prime minister of Japan himself had, and had lectured him about the importance of staying with you the entire time and to respect your authority — well one out of two wasn’t bad. He’s eating a piece of cake instead of a meal, his fork digging into the back of the cake again and again, toying with his food as he did with you, “I mean, you seem fairly young, but old enough to be entrusted with my safety,” 

THE ETHICS OF RELATIONSHIPS - 'THE PROF GETO SERIES'

INSTRUCTOR INFORMATION Professor Suguru Geto Level: Advanced (18+) Recommended Study Playlist

COURSE DESCRIPTION Professor Suguru Geto is a renown ethics professor, and you're a 4.0, straight A student whose GPA he's trying to ruin (or that's what you think). Instead of dropping the class, you're more intent on making him see your brilliance -- but you get more than you bargained for, when the two of you learn more about the other -- and what you owe to each other.

COURSE REQUIREMENTS

I. I NEED SOMEONE OLDER....................................10,376 POINTS

II. ILLICIT AFFAIRS......................................................16,821 POINTS

III. THE WRONG PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME......12,010 POINTS

IV. YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS.........14,288 POINTS

V. WAIT FOR YOUR LOVE..........................................12,464 POINTS

VI. TBC

EXTRA CREDIT

I. SUDDENLY, I HAVE A VALENTINE.......................1,208 POINTS

I WANNA SHOW YOU OFF - SATORU GOJO

This had to be the dumbest idea you had let yourself be convinced to do. 

You sat in a bar, nursing a soda instead of a drink (because it was all you could afford), and you glanced at your group of friends who had all split off to chat up a different man. And meanwhile, there you were, at the bar alone. 

Your friends had seen a video or article online with a list of places that rich men tended to frequent, and after another dinner of instant ramen and looking at your dwindling bank account, you let yourself be dragged along to this bar.

You were surprised how easy it was for you all to be let in, but you supposed young clientele also helped to attract the rich ones the bar was really after. It was the perfect place to find a sugar daddy, or mommy. In your case, you were hoping to just find someone who would pay your bills month to month and possibly your tuition. But now you were just hoping someone would talk to you, much less anything else. 

𝑤𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 : 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑜𝑘𝑖 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 : 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑖

Then

The Todoroki house was the most interesting place you had ever been.

At home it was just you and your mom, and most of the time she was working, or recovering from working, but the Todoroki house was packed with children from wall to wall. There was almost never a dull minute—except when Todoroki Enji came home and everyone got stiff and weird—but when he wasn’t around, you found you preferred the Todoroki mansion to the loneliness of your own empty house.

Touya seemed to sense this, and deigned to invite you over often, enough that you found yourself following him home after school at least once a week.

After the first time, you’d been introduced to his other siblings, Fuyumi and Natuso, who were both much nicer than Touya, and notably far more talkative. Shouto was a near-constant too, almost always propped on his mother’s hip when you arrived home, and always eager to be handed off to you, enough that you could tell Touya was annoyed.

xreader fic is so inherently healing like

do you love yourself? no? that's okay this character you love loves you back. are you kind? that is why they love you. are you patient? that is why they love you. are you a coward are you shy are you brave are you bold are you bratty? that is why they love you. you are loved and you will not be punished for seeking love. you are loved and you will find it here in these words.

do you love yourself yet? no? that's okay this character can love you until you do. this character will point out the few traits you can relate with yourself (your smile, your laugh, you brattiness, your whimsy, your strength, your sorrow) and tell you that they love that about you until one day you can love it, if not yourself, too.

do you love yourself yet? no? but you're starting to accept that you can be loved? that there is something in you- your awkwardness, your bashfulness, your straightforward mind, you ability to heal, your ability to fight- that someone could look at and learn to adore? well done. you're right, this character does see that and adore it. you may not love yourself just now, just yet, but now you see right? That there is something to love in you?

𝑤𝘩𝑒𝑛 𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 : 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑜𝑘𝑖 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 : 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑖

Then

It was a freezing day in spring the first time you set foot in the Todoroki house.

You had shared a class with Touya for years now, and in that time you’d become something of his best friend. You’d bonded early over a mutual hatred of fish and your status as the two best tree climbers on the playground—two integral friendship quality bars if ever you’d met them—and your entente had strengthened over the following months.

After enough time together Touya had even seemed to like you, seeking out your opinion, deploying you like a shield between himself and the other kids. He wanted to be paired with you for group projects constantly, as he seemed to disdain the ability of the other kids in your class.

He eventually acquiesced to two other friends—Rumi and Keigo—as Keigo was a really fast runner, and Rumi could kick a kid almost clear across a playground. But the two of you remained particularly close, and a few years in, Touya had seemed to want to check the final box of your friendship.

That was the day he’d haughtily informed you that you were coming home with him.

that feminine urge to read something that makes you cry, get angry, scream, laugh like a hormonal teenager, turn up the heat, feel like the most unique and beautiful human being on earth. *sighs*

family: “why are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?”

me who’s been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:

4 RULES TO SURVIVE A DIVORCE (GONE WRONG)

— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — deciding to end your marriage with neuvillette might've been the hardest decision you've ever had to make in your life, although now, navigating through the divorce was becoming even more difficult, especially when you suddenly fail to stick to four simple rules you have both set between each other.

— ꒰ word count ꒱ — 7.8k

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ns]fw, fem! reader, ex! husband neuvillette, divorced couple goals lmao, fluff & crack, p with plot, lovers to strangers to lovers, size kink/size difference, rough sex, unprotected sex, unresolved tension and lots of bickering, sassy comments from the both of you, it's very much giving married old couple, office sex, cumming inside

RULE NUMBER 1: KEEP YOUR DISTANCE AT ALL TIMES

by the sixth day of waking up to an empty bed— with the left side untouched and consisting of nothing but a feeble scent of vacant perfume, neuvillette has decided that he's had enough.

which wasn't to say that he's had enough of sleep, even though that's certainly a potent route to take, yet the neuvillette the people of fontaine knew was only the one they believed they knew.

in this agonizing moment in time, he wasn't sure on how long he could act out this picture-perfect facade for the sake of his people.

they thought he was brilliant, attractive, chocolate-box pretty.

a radiant, enigmatic dragon that was quite the sight to behold, his smile reminding the flowers of spring-time to blossom to their original beauty— awakening their way of life— ah well, such lovely things to ruminate on, or when they decide to appreciate his delicateness, how uniquely he viewed the world and how otherworldly soft he chose to explore it.

in a true sense, the alluring stories the people of fontaine told each other got one single piece about him right; that neuvillette was very handsome and soft to someone's eyes.

with all ones heart, the man unquestionably had enough of the irrefutable coldness wearing down on his shoulders, sitting there alone in an empty bedroom that was previously essential to his well being, with misery written all over his face and bursting at the seams of his mental health, just enough for him to stop talking all at once.

in which you aren't allowed 5 ft away from wanderer

there isn't much noise that permeates the air within the cottage. a soft glow of the sunlight penetrates through the stained windows, a fresh scent of newly brewed tea wafts through the air, and some windows lay slightly ajar to let in a fresh breeze of air.

periodically, what does quietly sound through the living room is the rustle of pages, flipped ever so often when your eyes have finished looking over the enthralling words that lie on the paper. you're perched on the slightly rustic sofa, soaking up the serene moments in the morning before it was time to complete set tasks that you had planned.

there is a light tickle that touches the side of your thigh, which reminds you of the presence that rests beside you, the top of his head lightly pressed against your leg. a confirmation that you’re there, with him. he certainly looks the part of a doll when he’s asleep, his porcelain skin milky smooth and his face finally relieved of the annoyed expression he always carried when conscious.

it was a miracle he was able to even close his eyes for a period of time, or even rest for a moment. he’s always been alert, never free from the torment of nightmares when he closes his eyes for a moment. you’re pleased that he’s seemed to make some progress staying in sumeru. after all, it's difficult to fall asleep with piercing lavender eyes aimed straight at your figure laid in bed at night (he brushes off your complaints that it's creepy, and refuses to leave the room when you tell him to do something better with his time if he can't sleep).

the light bustling noises of the streets of sumeru signal that it was time for the market to open up for the day, and your sign to get ready to start your day.

you gently move slightly and place a pillow in the spot that you had occupied just a moment ago, hoping to mimic the presence that you were still by the wanderers' side. usually, he would accompany you throughout the day, but a look at his peaceful expression urged you to let him rest for once. you’ll be back soon anyways. you check the kitchen one last time, ensuring the mental list you had made was correct, before tugging on an outer coat and shoes at the door.

your hand doesn't reach the handle before you hear a disgruntled voice behind you, the fabric of your clothes stretched between lithe fingers.

“where are you going?”

in which ayato is enamored with his vice president who (probably) wants nothing to do with him

the president is a huge pain in the neck.

"do you know where ayato is?"

the school is unbearably hot. the deathly combination of the lack of working air conditioners and clusters of hot, sweaty, overheated high school students crammed in tiny school rooms leaves the day feeling longer than it is. despite every window in the student council room being open, you still feel the back of your uniform slightly stick onto your back. you would rather be anywhere but in the school building at the moment. however, your wishes were naught as the lack of a certain presence leaves you popping your head through most of the classrooms in hopes of finding a glimpse of the light haired man in one.

"i think he went to speak with his homeroom teacher." someone offhandedly mentioned, one of many on the committee who were unfortunate enough to be tasked to stay after school on a hot humid day.

"can you tell him to look at these proposals whenever he comes back? i’m about to head home-” "are you looking for me?"

English added by me :)

Reblog if you've ever cried over the death of a fictional character

im on tumblr bc im a romantic this energy doesnt exist on any other platform