Throwing a surprise birthday sale on my Etsy shop now through Sunday! ٩( ᐛ )و💕🎈
Use “BIRTHDAY” at checkout for 15% off! 🥳🎉
Alpha patrons receive a special 30% off discount for the month as a thank you for supporting me! 😋💕 (Check email for code!)
There are a bunch of new prints and restock on sold out items! 👏 Here’s a few new ones including my Love Bites Zine submission! 😍
I think the amount of beef Hugh Dancy is packing would surprise most people who’ve only seen him fully clothed. I think he manages to look waifish in clothes and then like this without.
Look at that sirloin. It’s rippling with protein.
Meanwhile, in the Badly Behaved Billionaires dep’t…
love 2 see discourse about fic authors writing anal sex "wrong" and coming in with first hand (or second hand or ??? accounts) about how it ACTUALLY works as if there is not natural variation in how people practice and enjoy sex.
"they always leave out the cleaning!" RIP, but some people go nasty and like it. yes this includes rimming.
"no one actually does fingering first!" sorry, honey, YOU have never fucked someone who fingered you first
alternately, "with no prep??" mhm yeah some people are just living like that
"no lube??"/"spit as lube??" literally more prevalent than the magical lube stashed in every nearby drawer/glove compartment/pocket
"there's WAY too much emphasis on anal sex in slash fics, people don't actually do it that much, it's too much work" please refer to the guys fucking nasty with no prep in a bathroom stall for more information. they've done zero work.
"actually you need condoms even if you're clean & monogamous to prevent UTIs/mess" please explain to me the HERCULEAN efforts it took to get people to use condoms during the AIDS crisis if they were already using them anyway
"women writing fic don't know how to write anal" I should not have to explain that the vagina is in addition to, not instead of, the asshole
anyway, let's just agree that fic is not sex ed and there are plenty of people out there fucking in ways that you would personally hate
Sexual themes
he’s taking a nap shhhhh
Jack Crawford looked weary, as if something had been weighing on his soul all day. He sighed and turned to Will Graham.
“I know you won’t be happy about this,” Jack said. “But someone in Maryland is secretly a murderous corgi. So far, a dozen people have been killed from the shins down.”
Will gasped. “But corgis are among the cutest of all dogs!”
Jack got up and went to his office door. “I know this is hard on you so I’ve brought in Dr. Lecter to help you out.”
Jack opened the door and in waddled a very well-dressed fluffy gentleman about a foot high at the shoulder. He had a heart-shaped booty and big sticky-uppy ears.
“I’m Dr. Lecter,” the diminutive gentleman said. “But please, call me Horgi.”
Obsessed with ✨them✨
If you are the dealer I’m out of the game If you are the healer It means I’m broken and lame If thine is the glory then Mine must be the shame You want it darker, We kill the flame
Person who sees me reading a book on quantum mechanics: Oh hey that’s a neat subject!
Me: Yeah I’m learning about it because im writing a horny cannibal who uses this stuff for sex comparisons.
Person:
Finally an update on my car.
Finally heard from a guy today. In fairness to him he’s been recovering from an accident himself. Unlike the other people who’ve given me estimates he’s not gonna charge me almost $3k! Unfortunately it’s closer to $2k which is still $600 more than I have and the insurance company doesn’t think I need more. 🫠
Spent about 30 minutes talking to him and this fella Harold seems quite nice and I think pretty fair considering everyone else has been quoting me $2600-$2900+. And he actually CAME to see the car himself like… a house call in this economy??
Here’s the estimate 😭
If you can help or signal boost I’d appreciate it! I’d like to be able to drive again.
Here are my assorted PayPal etc
PayPal: btippi@gmail dot com — kofi: tippi — cash app: $tippinb — venmo: tippi-blevins
Update: Car is supposed to be ready today which is good! But I don’t have enough money! Harold said he was going to try to get the insurance company to fork over more since it was their client who ran into me. But so far nothing.
Please share. I still need almost $300.
May 1 was the day I always celebrated my sweet hound’s birthday. I’ll never know when he was born, as I found him when he was already a young adult digging through trash in a ditch. I miss my Henry. He was the friendliest boy.