TV detective vs tech guy

i don’t care about fictional character drama. if you like a steven’s universe character who did something wrong once, fine. if u like any of the asshole double-crossing nintendo jesters, cool. i don’t even care if u like that smiley lady from the emoji movie. but know this: if u stan buck cluck from chicken little, i hate you with every once of every fiber of my very bring and my living force will carry on in spite of you.

facts

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

basically what im saying is everyone should be anticapitalist

When you’re going to the movies and you have to sneak all of your snacks in your asshole and your friend asks for a bottle of water:

I know we talk about how aware Gumball is, but THIS IS LIKE SUPER FRICKING AWARE

you ever notice a lot of stuff is considered poor and gross unless its upper middle class (white) people doing it

food trucks in the 90s were the realm of taco trucks and fairground food and were always considered unhygienic and nasty until all these rich city kids started opening food trucks and now they’re “trendy” and “innovative”

riding your bike to work is only considered geofriendly if you can also afford to drive a car but don’t want to, then you’re saving the earth, everyone else isn’t somehow??

recycling old cheap stuff to be used as furniture and wearing really old clothing is a sign of poverty unless you’re doing it a certain way or wearing a certain kind of old clothing

double standards are gross and you should expose them in your life as much as possible

See also: The entire legal pot industry.

why the fuck did scooby have on a collar he never even wore a leash!! and he could literally tell anyone what is name is where he lives. hell he could get an uber home if he gets lost!! the fuck why is he wearing a collar

You know why

Bone massage… I want soft bones

no you don’t, bitch.

*jiggles and flops towards you* what? Huh?

Dog + cat snaps

This just in heterosexual culture still unappealing and weird 

women are harpies that are stealing my Man Strength in order to make themselves stronger.  I saw one woman who had done this five times, and could now bench-press more than me in the gym.  Terrifying.

when a man loves a man they have infinite strength, but when a woman loves a woman they have no weaknesses. chose wisely…

The Unstoppable Gay meets the Immovable Lesbian.

silly skelly cannot relate 

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*capitalist voice* well, we could make sure everyone lives comfortably, but it would make the money sad