WRITE OR DIE

“Oh you look like a southern belle! Except. . . Dark.” —my mother-in-law when I got home from this event. 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ . . . Flower crown by @onemorepagebooks 😍😍

Can I be vulnerable for a moment? I sat down to prepare Valley Girls promo today because I keep ignoring it (if you don’t acknowledge it, it can’t hurt you, right? 😂) And I’ve decided something. See, I started Valley Girls out of spite, to an industry that kept rejecting my stories. I sold and finished writing it while I was phenomenally, clinically depressed and unmedicated. I love climbing but, in the end, it’s not really what I wanted to write about. It’s just what I thought publishing might want from me. It’s what I thought YOU would want from me. I gave you California and sunshine and look no dark magic in these woods (just vain gods who will squash you like a bug). I gave Rilla all my secret feelings and fears (look at goodreads to see how that turned out 😞). I executed it, and pretended I loved it and told myself all I wanted was to be able to write another book—that to publish again was enough a definition of success. I made myself quiet and well behaved and wore a lot of blazers and smiled and stayed professional even in the middle of true dumpster fires of my career. Except now, I’m not even successful by the lowest standards I could give myself. And I have to face the fact that I lied to myself. It’s not enough to just scrape by. It’s really not. It’s never been. So going forward, I’m done trying to be something everyone likes. I’m done being well behaved. I’m done wearing blazers and trying to smile and be nice. I’m not nice. I look deranged when I smile. I went to Yosemite for the first time on my maxed out credit card to write a book I thought people would want. I don’t care that much about the book, but I have some amazing experiences and memories from Yosemite and the people I met, and it was the first time I took a big risk for something I wanted to do, and that’s what I’m going to share in the next month—the shit I actually care about. Starting with this photo, that I took on my second trip, two years later, during the darkest parts of writing and depression. It’s the one photo I actually *felt* something about.

This is the hike where I decided to write Done Dirt Cheap 💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

How to cook as a writer: 1. Do it once. 2. Eat it for every meal. 3. When it runs out, eat toast until you cook again in a week or whatever.

Toast and dark magic. . . Errr....I mean, coffee. 😏

Brought home dark & decadent treats from Winston-Salem. 💀 . (not for me! Okay a little for me....😆) . . #bookstagram #fairytales #classic #authorsofinstagram #basic #mamadoesntwanttoshare

Uhm excuse me while I buy everything @alyssacolelit ever wrote. This was perfect.

Hibernation

*groan*

I’m ready to go back. 😍

A hunger hit her mouth that had nothing to do with food. It was like lust, but instead of for another, it was for herself. For her future.

-VALLEY GIRLS (May 8, 2018..Abrams/Amulet)

I love fresh flowers at my desk while I’m writing. 🌸 📚

Sunday afternoons.

“Thoughtful, nuanced, and awe-inspiring! Valley Girls is the missing gospel for everyone with a messy heart and infinite dreams. This book will heal you, I swear.” —Julie Murphy, #1 NYT bestselling author of Dumplin’ (I couldn’t quite fit it all on the graphic) 📷: me (Yosemite is just like this!) 💬: the coolest bitch in YA @andimjulie 📖: Coming May 8, 2018, but you can preorder now! Link in bio.