I'm here I'm queer can I go home now

Can’t get this on any other social media

I HAVE THIS THING AND IT WAS THE BEST PURCHASE OF MY FUCKING LIFE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. I AM CUDDLING THIS BEAST AS WE SPEAK. YOU CAN BUY IT NEW FOR $110 HERE WHEN ITS AVAILABLE https://pri-gift-shop.myshopify.com/products/giant-eurypterid-body-pillow

I waited ages to buy it bc it kept being out of stock when I remembered to check on it, and when I finally got it IT WAS FUCKING LIFE CHANGING OK. THIS MASSIVE BASTARD IS SO SOFT I AM HERE TO SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF THE EURYPTERID. I WISH THE WEBSITE LET YOU LEAVE REVIEWS BECAUSE I WOULD'VE LEFT A 5 PAGE ESSAY.

this is Johannes Kepler

my friend and i bought one at the same time so this is them on a dinner date

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

one time my friend had surgery on her hip/knee and we went to visit her in the hospital and she was like “hey guys, check out what i have! it’s this cool button that, when I press it, it gives me more morphine!” and sure enough she had a little tube with one end attached to her IV or whatever and one end with a button on it, and every time she pushed the button it gave her morphine

and she just kept pressing it and pressing it and giggling and getting loopier and loopier, so we went to ask a nurse if that was OK or if she was just going to overdose herself

and the nurse said that the morphine button is on a self timer limit and she had already maxed it out and won’t be able to get more for a few more hours, but she can just press the button as many times as she wants and thanks to her already being on the max dose of morphine she was just placebo effect-ing herself into the fucking stratosphere

it was a great image, my friend over there high as balls like I HAVE UNLIMITED MORPHINE POWER!!!! *press press press press* and the nurse like “nah that button isn’t doing shit but she’s having fun”

"con artist" is maybe the profession with the biggest gap between How Cool They Are In Media and How Cool They Are In Real Life

fictional con artist: I've gathered you all here because you each have unique skills and specialties that will be required for the Ultimate Heist: psychologically destroying the richest man in the world, and taking his mansions, his yacht, and his wife in the process.

real life con artist: plan A is to scare an old lady who barely speaks English. plan B, is to trick unemployed people into giving us money, which they famously have a lot of, in exchange for broadly-defined Career Services. plan C is we try to make NFTs a thing again

Please return us to a world where Notp and squick are used for a ship you don’t like instead of just making up a load of bullshit about how immoral it is or w/e lol 

a short selection of concepts and phrases that used to be commonplace in fandom and we’d really benefit from making that a thing again:

NOTP: the opposite of an OTP (One True Pairing). It is a ship a fan strongly dislikes. The word is a portmanteau of ‘no’ and ‘OTP’ and thus is not a contraction of any particular phrase.

Squick: anything that is a deep-seated, visceral turn-off. Squicks may be shared by many fans or be specific to one; one person’s kink may be another person’s squick.

YKINMKATO, or kink-tomato: Your Kink Is Not My Kink, And That’s Okay: used to indicate support for fannish diversity and to distinguish between disapproval or kink shaming and simply having different taste.

DLDR: Don’t Like, Don’t Read: a phrase used to warn against complaints about an aspect of fic or meta. A “live and let live” philosophy of fandom, which places the responsability for avoiding content one doesn’t want to see on the side of the fanwork consumer, rather that on the creator’s.

SALS: Ship And Let Ship: similar to the above specifically about shipping tastes.

YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary: a phrase used to acknowledge that any given individual’s personal opinion on the topic at hand may differ due to their own tastes, standards, values, experiences, etc.

As the OP points out, all of these crucially imply no moral judgment of what they’re designing.

(definitions lifted more or less wholesale from fanlore’s relevant pages)

bring the healthy fun back to fandom!

If ever a time comes when I don’t reblog this when it appears on my dash, assume I’m dead

i feel like there's a rich vein of SOME kind of ore to mine with regards to the romantic woes of visibly "freakish" and inhuman superheros, especially in silver age comics. like, because of the comics code, the writers could not in-universe admit that some people are really kinky and would absolutely nut in an instant if a gigantic alligator man or a living rock monster or a ten foot tall woman who's on fire gave them a little smooch on the head. like maybe most people in the 70s and 80s had no idea this was the case, either!

but so you end up with these romantic plot lines where some poor freakish superhero with a heart of gold and the skin of, i don't know, a bunch of octopi, is miserable because they'll never find true love, except for a totally normal woman has the power to see their inner heart (which is normal) and fall in love with them for that (normally). villains can sometimes be like 'yeah this chick is super into the fact that i'm an eight foot tall deathbot, we're both evil like that' but ben grimm can't get a date! even blind women are a little concerned that he's literally made out of rocks. it never works out because the writers either can't imagine or can't admit that no matter the freak, there's a bigger, hornier freak who's praying for a chance to shoot their shot.

i don't know. it's just interesting. obviously modern comics can acknowledge a lot more sexual variance than the stuff from fifty years ago, but it's just kinda neat to consider the bizarre limitations a heteronormative paradigm enforces on a population of very strange characters.

and also i feel like in real life ben grimm's DMs would be full of incredibly horny geologists going PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE all day long.

ffxiv is not a video game it is a disease. brain fungus of some sort. makes you stop wanting to kill yourself repairs your relationship to god and also makes you inordinately fond of catboys and shit. IF! you are exposed long enough. that's why the free trial is so generous. it's like getting addicted to a drug that genuinely loves you and makes you a better and stronger and happier person. and who loves catboys also. unreal

cordyceps IN. my body

it's too late for you gunk. you WILL be put in the character development blender. no choice.

Hi everyone especially phans,

Just wanna let you know that all my Phantom Broadway masters are open for trade starting April 16, 2024, one year since its closing on Broadway.

Pls don’t email me for trading though, I don’t have the time or the energy. I recommend you trade with our beloved @glassprism who has got most of my videos. She’s literally a living phantom museum so please pay tribute to her work.

Sorry if I didn’t reply to some trading requests last year. I feel too overwhelmed.

Thank you all! Hope the phandom has recovered a bit throughout the year.

- Amy

rabbits know and resent their place on the food chain

mice and rats also know they’re prey animals, they just have such joy of living that it cancels out. guinea pigs have no concept of death but understand contextless fear. hamsters however do know the food chain, but they also know that attachment to the earth is the root of suffering and they wisely deny the faults of the ego

FINALLY. I CAN BE NOSY IN GW2 LIKE I AM IN FFXIV.

The San Francisco Examiner, California, February 25, 1935

Sometimes I think humankind hasn’t changed at all. 

WHAT IS “DOES”?

The average man who gets enough sleep doesn’t write the sentence “What is “does”?“

Bothering the beast

finally, it's completely canon

gifs by @alexisrosemullens