Am I Enough PT 17
Warnings: Angst a bunch of angst
A/N: I can’t believe I finished this. I want to apologize, I was only asking if people were still reading because it motivates me to write and as the chapters came out the fewer people noted it. From the first chapter had 300 + notes and chapter 15 had about 30. THANK YOU ALL for reading and I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I’m seeing only a few more chapters but I’ll let you know.
Ran as fast as your stupid heels would let you.
Didn’t listen to their pleas as you stumbled towards the elevator trying to balance yourself.
To others, it would appear like you were merely drunk stumbling against the walls. Finally, the doors shut, not before seeing their faces. Your back met the wall and your legs gave out from the shaking. Your mind was racing. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, why would he?
The door opens to your floor but you can’t find the strength to move lucky for you there is a man waiting on the floor quickly catching the door before it sent you right back to where you didn’t want to be.
“FRIDAY, hold the elevator,” Tony whispered, without a word the doors remained open. Tony slid down the wall, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, before pulling you into him. It started with a single tear, Tony watched it fall, his heartbreaking, wondering how such a girl could ever end so broken in the corner of an elevator.
The rest of the team soon emerged from the next elevator over. Bucky was the first to come in view, you quickly turned into Tony burying your head into his neck, refusing look at him. Tony’s suit was soon soaked in tears and your shoulders shook against his grasp.
“FRIDAY, close the doors send us to my room.” The doors begin to shut. “Stay away Barnes, you’ve done enough.” With that, the doors shut, sending you up once more.
As the doors opened Tony helped you off the ground, walking you into the sitting area of his apartment before placing you on the couch. He quickly walks over to the bar to grab you a glass of the hard stuff, once done coming over and making sure you drink it.
“There you are, sweetheart, I got you. What happened?” He wraps his hand once more around your shoulders. Suddenly the doors ding and they both tense swinging to see who it was. To their relief it was Wanda, she quickly hurried over to you almost pushing Tony away as she pulls you into her.
“Draga, are you alright? You suddenly ran from the party. What happened?” She runs her hands over your hair shushing the cries coming from you.
“He… they…” You were choking on your own tears trying your hardest to contain them.
“Deep breath, Draga. It’s alright, take your time. Would you like some water or tea? Might help you calm down then we can talk about what happened. No rush though.” She continued to stroke your hair and travel down to your back. You nodded your head not trusting your voice. She doesn’t move but you can tell from the red in her eyes she was making the tea for you.
“Ok, black or green tea?” She asks gently. You whisper your answer. “Sugar or honey?” In a couple minutes the tea was floating over to you. Wrapping your hands around the mug you shakily lift the glass to your lips.
The warmth of the tea seems to calm you down a little. You take some deep breaths as you continue drinking.Tony and Wanda hover nearby, occasionally placing their hands rubbing their hands up and down your arms, merely assuring you that they were still there.
You finally set an empty cup down. You take a deep breath before looking at them both. You settle on Wanda, “When we were talking I noticed that Bucky had been gone awhile even though it was just to refill our drinks. So I thought maybe he got hung up talking with the guys.You pointed me towards the balcony,”You gesture towards Tony before taking a fortifying breath preparing yourself to continue.”So I headed over there and as I was opening the door I saw that hair. That red hair and his arm, and suddenly it was like that night so long ago. They were so close to each other like they were kissing or something. I….I don’t want to know. I don’t care what they were doing.” Your breath is coming in shorter bursts, your mind was reeling trying to recall everything but still trying to forget it at the same time. “I can’t .. I don’t want to remember. But at the same time, I want to know why. Why does he always chose her? I thought it was getting better. It was like it used to be like I was the only woman in the whole world. So why? Why is she so special? Why Am I Not Enough?”
You couldn’t continue, hyperventilating Wanda helps you bend over trying to control the amount of airflow. She continues to rub your back but she has added in quiet whispers, you cannot discern the meaning as she is speaking her mother tongue but it seems to be helping as you can breathe just a little easier. A few very stubborn tears make their way out and you lean your head into the crook of Wanda’s neck burrowing to get away from all the pain.
The elevator opens once more and out walks Sam frantically searching the room. When he sees you tucked on the couch he quickly walks towards you collapsing to his knees in front of you. You peel yourself away and throw yourself into the proven safe arms.
“Hey,” he grips on tight almost as if he can keep you together if he just holds on tight enough. “Hey baby girl, I just talked to Steve and Bucky. They said you ran into the elevator. What happened?”
You were getting a little tired of that question. Why wouldn’t they just let it go? They could talk to each other. The only thing you wanted to do now escaped into the beautiful oblivion that is sleep and forgets it all. Even if you had to face the truth tomorrow. The adrenaline was finally leaving you, with it came only whatever alcohol coursed through and you fell limp against Sam. Letting go of every ounce of control and strength left, leaving yourself completely in Sam’s care.
“You can take her to the guest room” Sam lifts you up into his arms while Tony shows the way. “Third door on the right. Let her sleep, we can explain what went down when you get back.” Sam merely nods before heading out.
He gently places you on the bed, pulling off your shoes gently tucking your legs underneath the blanket. He moved on to your hair pulling out any hairpins letting it fall down. When a tap on the door comes Wanda quickly drops off a glass of water with some aspirin before leaving quickly. Sam holds it up waiting for you to drink it. Finally, he goes to the bathroom grabbing a washcloth.
It is warm on your face as he wipes away your makeup erasing the tear tracks and soothing your eyes as he folds it gently upon your eyes. “Go to sleep baby girl I’ll be here in the morning. We can talk then.” He kisses your forehead and sits back. When your breathing evens out he grabs the cloth and exits the room quietly.
He wonders back into the main area to see the whole group, Bucky and Nat included. Walking around to the front so that he can take in every single one of them. Saying there was tension was an understatement, it ran thick through the group each one eyeing the other trying to figure out who was to blame.He makes eye contact with each one settling each one into their seats.
“Now, I think this is going to be a civil and informative conversation. Each of you will have a chance to speak until we are all on the same page. I don’t want to hear a single thing out of any of you. It is about time we get we our heads and facts straight.” He glares at each of them showing them a rare sight of how he truly works. “Let me remind you right now we are here because we all love her to different degrees keep that in mind. I want to hear from you, Tony, about what happened after (Y/N) left the party.”
Tony proceeds to recount the story an obvious hostile tone directed straight at the two offenders. Wanda can be seen nodding her head agreeing but as she takes in the emotions of the two in question. There is something about the remorse and the pain she is feeling, but mostly it is the lack of guilt or shame. She cocks her head taking in the two, they weren’t touching, weren’t even making eye contact with each other. In fact, they seemed at peace with each other like they had a full understanding of where they stood with each other.
Tony wraps up spitting some final insults. Sam shushes him, turning to the two in question, he gestures for them to start. Natasha begins stating everything almost like she was in a mission debrief making every point clear and concise. She had sought Bucky out, spurred on by the need to clear the air and finally be free of this burden.
“I saw Bucky approach us, Sam and I, at the bar. He was refilling (Y/N)’s drink. We started up a conversation and I thought now was a good time as ever to get it done. I figured we could finish it and move on enjoy the rest of the evening with his lady and I could enjoy the rest of the night. I wanted a more quiet environment make sure I left nothing out. We started to head to the balcony until Bucky stopped me and had Sam follow us. Figured we could have someone mediate for us and make sure there would be no misunderstandings if someone walked up. As you can tell that didn’t really go to plan.” She leans forward and buries her head in her hands. “It was because (Y/N) had found us talking the other day. I could see it in her eyes that she still had her doubts. I couldn’t get the sight out of my head. I want my best friend back and I figured the best way to do that was to figure out where I stand with Bucky and to make sure we both understood our positions.” She trails off, her eyes are glistening with tears.
As she falls silent eyes cast to the floor Bucky picks up, telling his story. “There is not much to say, it’s as she says. We talked and once we realized that we would never be anything ever and how much I love (Y/N), we hugged and that’s when I heard her gasp. By the time I got inside Tony was taking care of her and told me not to come near her.”
The room falls silent as they each get lost in their thoughts, making their own connections and coming to conclusions. As they each affirmed their ideas they looked up and glanced at each other.
“Well, I’m guessing we have all come to the same conclusion. So now the only question is how do we get our girl to see the same thing as we do?” Sam is leaning against a wall and thinking about how to go about this.
For the next couple hours, the group started coming up with idea and plans. They worked like the well-oiled machine that they were and the best part was they working towards making the one person who held the group together the happiest they could.
When the sun rose the next day, they would start Operation Glue.
