a/n I LOVE THIS sorry it took so long
“jesus christ, sirius, i told you, i’m not gunna do it,” remus grumbled, setting his book down with a bit more of an attitude than his friend would’ve liked.
“c’mon rem,” the black haired boy groaned, collapsing down at the feet of his bean stalked friend. “don’t you love me? don’t you want me happy?”
remus sighed and rubbed his forehead, refusing to look down at the pathetic scene sirius was creating, “i’m not pimping out one of my friends for you pads. i wouldn’t even do that to my worst enemy.”
“well i think severus secretly wants me.”
rolling his eyes, remus stood up and started to make his way up to his dorm room as sirius continued, eventually yelling as his friend disappeared up the staircase, “come on mooney! it’s not a hookup thing! i just-“
“how’s it going down there, romeo?” lily evans snickered as she towered over him, arm folded across her chest.
sirius shot up from the ground, taking ahold of lily lightly and started walking them out of the common room, “lily-flower, doll, the apple of my eye- have i told you how beautiful you look today?”
all the red head replied with was a raised eyebrow and a suspicious look, causing sirius just to blubber more as he guided her through the hallways, “you are the most gentle person i know, you know? and kind, and sweet, and-“
abruptly, she pulled away from him and looked him up and down, “cut the bullshit black, what do you want.”
“your words are like poetry, evans, really.”
lily scoffed and crossed her arms, glaring at him, “you may not realize it, but the world doesn’t revolve around you, i have a life.”
rushing back to her, the boy held her shoulders and stared directly into her eyes, trying to find dominance and humility in the situation, “you know that hufflepuff girl in your potions study group? the one with the y/h/c hair and always has different nail polish on every day?”
leaning back on her heels, lily looked at sirius sideways. his face was softened, hair tied back for once. eyes were genuine and darkened. “you mean y/n?”
“yes!” light filling his eyes, sirius jumped slightly in his step.
giving him another look, the girl began to laugh, shaking the boy’s hands off and leaving him to watch in embarrassment, “okay you don’t have to laugh- you are so rude you know that?- i just wanted to know what she thinks of me, okay?”
“oh sweetie,” lily clutched at her sides, green eyes neon in the sun, “you’ve got it baaaad.” fixing her hair, she waited until two third years walked past them and messed with her nail, “she thinks you’re cute, but that you’re a player, so she’s correct in thinking.”
sirius felt his chest collapse. yeah she thought he was cute, but he was. a player, though? she wasn’t wrong, but sirius’ intentions were never that of. yes, he would hook up with people, and yeah some breakups were messy, but he wasn’t just sleeping around and breaking hearts. he never denied that, but he was always genuine with girls, vulnerable under the “heart-breaker” title.
stuffing his hands into his pockets, the boy looked down, “i really like her. i don’t know why, but i really do.” taking a breath, sirius watched a piece of hair slide to the front of his face, a familiar sight. “she’s just so nice, you know? and really really charming and i just- ugh- want to hold her hand or something.” his voice got smaller and smaller towards the end of the sentences and lily’s heart ached for him.
lily sighed and rubbed her face, a hand landing on his slouched shoulder, “i can, um, talk to her, if you want. i kinda owe you anyways for helping me and james, or whatever.”
looking up from his self pity, lily’s eyes were warm and reassuring, and he pulled her into a surprised hug. laughing, she hugged back, patting him and whispering, “but you should talk to her, she spends a lot of time in the green house.”
“okay,” sirius pulled back, smiling back at lily, “okay! thank you!”
the boy began to run down the hall, eyes following him throughout the school. hands settling on her hips, the red head sighed as he left her view, “he’s going to fuck it up.”
the green house was always god-awfully hot. the air was always thick, steamy and gross, like a swamp. an aura of green was etched around everything in the room, and it was perfect for y/n. she hated to admit it, but she was a typical hufflepuff. gardening, herbology, kindness, finding things. the mom friend.
except she wasn’t a snitch. and she prided herself on that.
gardening, though, struck something in her soul. it was her thing, she loved it. and the teachers didn’t mind. she kept the green house alive, helped with the natural wildlife growing around campus, and in return she got some special privileges. like being able to stay out later than most people.
in the corner of the room sat a little muggle music player, the rhythm cutting through the hot air. it was a beatles record, one she smuggled in from her aunts house, and her hips swayed softly to the song as she worked on repotting some new bulbs.
hums deep from her throat matched with the song and she found her voice with the turn of the chorus, singing lightly to the plants. she felt crazy, and it was wonderful.
suddenly, with a fast and loud creak of the door, an out of breath sirius black entered, holding the glass door open as he took in deep breaths. staring at him with a puzzled look, y/n just held the repotted bulb in her hand and waiting for an explanation.
the boy, on the other hand, took a minute to recoup, and looked up to the girl, immediately straightening up, hiding the huffs under a cough, “um, hi!”
y/n smiled cautiously, nodding slightly, “hi.” setting the plant down, she refused to look away from the boy, who grew red pinned under her eye, “what are you doing here sirius?”
“um,” fully getting into the green house, sirius shut the door and yelled internally for himself to say something, anything. fixing his hair and looking at this girl, he smiled, “i need a plant.”
“a plant?” her voice dropped with skepticism. fuck. “which plant?”
inside, sirius was falling apart. it was more than the fact he had no reason to be there or talk to her but because how she was. her hair was half-hazardously put up, cascading among itself. an apron, embroidered with flowers and vines, clung to her figure. she wore green gardening gloves, and as she made herself around the work able, she slipped them off, exposing her small calloused hand. her nails were a dark blue today.
“sirius? are you okay?” she leaned against the work table, directly in front of the boy, who shook himself from his embarrassing moment.
“uh, yeah i need uh,” the boy searched the room, begging for him mind to come up with anything. “...basil.”
“basil?” her eyebrow rose and she giggled slightly. fuck. “basil? for what?”
he had to hide himself. this was too much. rubbing his face, he groaned, “um, for cooking.”
sirius heard her move around. looking from his own hands, he watched her continue to laugh softly, grabbing some scissors from the table and approach him hesitantly. she landed right next to him, he could feel her body even through the humidity, standing on her toes to reach a hanging planter that hung next to his face. y/n began to cut some leaves of the plant, and looked at him, “i didn’t know you cooked.”
god, even her perfume was perfect.
“yeah well, i do for special occasions,” he felt his face heat up again, refusing to look at the girl who was closer to him than he could ever imagine. he couldn’t look at her and her perfect face, at her eyelashes that hit her eyelids with every blink, at her long neck, scattered with freckles. fuck fuck fuck. he took to staring at his boots, that aesthetically looked nice next to her mary janes.
“sirius?” he felt her hand gently grab his, turning it over and placing a bundle of leaves in the center. her hands were soft, and her face was awfully close to his.
his eyes flickered around her face, scoping it like an astronomer to the night, following the trail of freckles and a really cute birth mark faded across her nose. he hummed in response, too intoxated to find words.
“i asked you what you were cooking.”
in the corner, the music stopped, and it was the first time sirius realized there was music playing. y/n broke away from the moment, looking to the music player and sighing.
she walked away towards the corner, allowing sirius to breathe again. the aroma of the basil found its way to him, familiar from his childhood, and he watched her flip the record. confidence found its place again inside him, and he shuffled a bit towards her, “pesto.”
“pesto?” she hummed, some delight licking at the word, as she fixed the sound to be less loud. trying to face him, y/n had no reaction to him moving closer to her, “big italian guy, huh?”
sirius marked him his mind that the height difference between them were perfect, “my aunt married an italian, we used to visit when i was younger.”
“my mum’s italian,” the girl smiled, burning a hole in his heart, and moved to the table next to him, picking up from where she left off. “now, are you going to tell why you’re actually here, or are we going to pretend you ran down here for some basil?”
she kept her gaze on the plants, a smirk growing across her face as sirius felt panic rise within himself again. leaning a hand on the table, he watched her eyes flicker to it, and sighed.
“i’m not a player, okay?”
looking up to him, the girl sat her things down again and softened under the embarrassment, “who told you i think that?
rolling her eyes, y/n turned to face him, “she’s got a mouth.”
“yeah,” the words floated from his mouth and got lost in the air, guilt panging in her heart. the room was too hot, and sirius was refusing to look at her. does he like me?
“do you remember in fourth year, the halloween party? i was little red riding hood, and we didn’t even coordinate but you were a wolf.” getting right to him, y/n kept her eyes on him, and he gradually reconnected the eye contact, jaw still locked. “and it was so funny to us that we took a picture of it, and we danced and won best couples costume.”
her gaze broke off, falling to the ground. sirius straightened up, more hair falling in front of his face. crossing her arms around her, y/n continued, “and we spent most of the night together, eventually finding our way outside and talking. that was a good night.” a smile crept across her face, “i still have the photo hung up on my wall.”
sirius dreaded whatever words were going to come out of her mouth. he knew the timeline. he knew that night. well, flashes of it. he had a drinking problem that year.
“and then the next day i found out you and marlene mckinnon hooked up and you left her high and dry that morning.” an uncomfortable air crept through the room. “i’m sorry if i judged you, but you didn’t really give me anything else to base it off of.”
finally, her eyes found his, big and round, and sirius was speechless. goddamn. taking a breath, he kicked himself for his shakiness, “i was going through a lot then. it- it was a really bad year for me. but i’m different. i’m really different.”
a soft hand found its way to his face. her thumb ghosted over his lips, warmth clashing with the gross heat that overcame the room. “i don’t know what you want from me,” y/n’s words came out hoarse, whispered, “but i’ve had my share of heartbreak, and i don’t want to revisit it.”
encasing her hand with his, sirius leaned down a bit to her eye level, resting his forehead against hers, “i don’t either.”
uwu i love soft!sirius, he’s my kink
