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Me, myself and the delightfully unoriginal

@isabellenecessaryonabicycle

22. QUEER. ERRATIC
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This is my new favorite genre of disappointed Trump voter. Meet the Trump voter taking it in the teeth at tax time.

How unsurprising “Fuck you, got mine” becomes a simple “fuck you” in a flash…

I love this song.

Mmmnh. My mama, being a retired accountant, volunteers every year to do taxes for the elderly via a local program sponsored by AARP.

She’s only been at it for three days so far this year and has already heard this same whine from *so many* people.

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stupid-dyke

When will they learn that when republicans talk about “cutting taxes” they ALWAYS mean “for the rich only”

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beetledrink

i love it when you accidentally meet eyes with a stranger in public and you flash a quick polite smile and they look at you like they wish you were dead in a ditch

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deadmomjokes

I’ve seen this several times on my dash and always with southerners being confused in the tags why the rest of the US is like this, and as a southerner, I have to say, SAME. Like, there’s plenty to hate about the south, don’t get me wrong, but at least in general we have public courtesy down to a science. I ordered at a Sonic out West once and the guy specifically had someone take over his headset so he could come out and shake my hand because he was from Tennessee and it was the first time since he moved West that he heard anyone say “Yes sir.” And it’s just…. Automatic for me? And this polite smile thing, people will jump and glare and I’m just trying to be friendly not awkward? What else is a socially anxious southern child to do upon accidentally making eye contact? Look down and hurry away? Isn’t that rude??? Someone explain why is smiling met with such anger I am confused and afraid.

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sea-anon

Exactly!! When I moved to Missouri I was baffled at how rude everyone is! Like I saw someone I knew at Walmart and stopped to chat and they didn’t even stop! They just went ‘hi’ and moved on. Like????

And when I moved here I made cookies for the neighborhood, cuz that’s what you do and the first place I went they said “we don’t eat things with sugar” and shut the door.

Like why do y’all hate everyone so much?

I’m Canadian and am also confused

Well yeah everyone knows Canadians are the friendliest people in the world

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deanismymom

I’m from Indiana and I’m pretty sure if you don’t talk to someone you know In Wal-Mart for at least 5 minutes you go to jail

No but that would still be rude in kentucky

You are expected to talk for at least 15 minutes, say goodbye (like, a “take care y’all, tell me how that knee is doin”) and then you talk for another ten minutes, move a little further apart and say goodbye again (“well I better get going tell your nana I said hi”) and then you talk for a while and say goodbye one more time (“I’ll see y’all at church on Sunday/school/Jo-mart/Nana’s funeral”) and move on to the next person

And don’t even get me started on food etiquette

It’s not a south v. west thing, it’s a city thing. That’s why New Yorkers are the purest version of this. And it’s why I get both sides. I grew up in a small town in Northern California, and it was proud of all the small town things – “you can leave your door unlocked” and all that. I got a job for a while as a bank teller, and this coworker of mine had moved there from New York. I liked him (I tend to get along with folks) but a lot of people thought he was rude. “short” “impatient” even “brusk” were some descriptions of him, not just from our coworkers, but from the bank customers too. They complained because he always rushed them, never wanted to make small talk, etc. One day I was working next to him, and I heard him verbally pushing yet another customer along, just racing him through the transaction against his will, and I thought, I’m gonna say something to him about it. As soon as the customer left though, before I could say anything, my coworker goes “damn I hate people like that, get to  the front of the line and want to tell me their whole life story. So RUDE!” So I say something like, how is he the one that was rude to you? And goes, like he can’t believe how stupid I’m being, “ not to me, to all those people in line behind him that want to finish up here and get on with the rest of their day! You’re at the bank, you know why you’re here, you step up, you do a polite greeting and get the fuck down to business. Everybody has shit to do, and they can’t do it until you shut up about your life story that zero people drove down here to listen to. It’s so selfish! I can’t stand people like that”   Since then, I’ve lived in San Francisco, and L.A., and Montgomery Alabama, and Germany and Portland and Oakland and a bunch of little ass towns like Suisun Ca, and Kenwood and all kinds of places, Santa Cruz and Rohnert Park. And I’ve thought about the thing that guy started me noticing. It’s true. The closer in to a city (and the larger the city) the more the concept of polite changes from “how you are effecting the person you are communicating with” to “how you are effecting the people packed in around you” In Oakland there are like, zero grocery stores (Oakland is literally documented as a “food desert”) and so the best grocery store in Berkeley is also a favorite grocery store of Oakland residents and it is… full. You’ll spend a full 30 minutes in the snake of cars circling around in the parking lot waiting for somebody to finish shopping and leave so a parking spot opens up. Once inside, it’s more of the same. Shopping carts are cart-front to ass cheek. You literally can’t reach onto a shelf for a box of cereal without waiting for somebody to give you a break in traffic. Sometimes you get stuck standing in a single spot for several minutes, boxed in on all sides.  I’ve only been twice, and I swear to all holy gods that if I saw two people trying to catch up on chit chat while we all tried to maneuver around them, I would been reaching for my murdering stick. It’s called skype motherfuckers, go the fuck home and talk to each other, jfc, the rest of us are trying to make a deadline for some other shit we gotta get done today. Now, going back home, to small town Nor Cal, yeah, I don’t want to be rude, I’m gonna stop and say hi, I’m gonna ask about your family, I’m gonna rack my brain and remember that you had a sick cat or a trip you were trying to take or an interest in boats, and I’m gonna ask about that shit, fuck yeah tell me about how the tomatoes are coming in this year, I hear the birds are worse than ever. Anyway, city folk ain’t rude, they just polite different; suitable for city life.

This is such a great explanation, and really important.

I grew up somewhere that was so far on the other end of the spectrum that if you were driving and you saw someone that you wanted to talk to coming the other way, you’d stop and roll down your window.

Just stop in the middle of the street, and then the two of you would be having a nice chit-chat out your car windows. If someone came up behind one of you yeah it would be time to move on, but the middle of the road was an acceptable place to stop and have a conversation for twenty minutes.

This is also a place where it is rude not to wave at oncoming traffic, regardless of whether or not you actually know them.

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katswenski
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plume

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time! Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean. The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

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mousathe14

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors 

my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog

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mrsokiedoke

Annnnd our parents and grandparents never taught us basic life skills because the baby boomer generation loved outsourcing easy work, like hemming pants and baking cakes. The generations before us glommed onto the fast, easy fix, and important skills have been lost in the process.

(And of course the generation who raised us loves to act fake shocked like “my grandkids don’t know how to boil water” like yeah, Janice, that’s because you took your kids out to eat 6 nights a week and baked Stouffers lasagna one night)

And now we are broke. And can’t afford to pay $60 to have every pair of pants we own hemmed (shoutout to shorties!). We are making yogurt because we can’t afford to pay $2.50 for one yogurt.

I’ve learned to knit to make myself wool hats and scarves. I’ve learned to sew so I can make items that would otherwise cost me 4x the cost to make it. I’ve learned to make yogurt because I would prefer to spend $2 for a gallon of milk and get 24 yogurts out of it rather than just one.

I’ve planted fruit trees in my yard so I can reduce the carbon footprint of the fruit I eat, and because produce is expensive.

I raise egg-laying chickens so I don’t contribute to factory farming.

My husband hunts deer so that we can eat lean, virtually fat free meat, and also not contribute to factory farming. The deer live happy lives and are not allowed to suffer. (Hey PS also, hunting up here plays an important role in ecology, as otherwise the deer population would explode, and deer would starve in the winter. Thanks for coming to my TEDta…)

My generation is going on YouTube to learn to change tires, bake bread and do their taxes because y’all sure as shit didn’t teach us.

THIS

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ironbite4

Lets not forget the phasing out of the HomeEc class.  Or the Shop Class.

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lkeke35

Alleviating one’s ignorance of a subject should NEVER, EVER be looked down on! Learning and growing are never anything to be shamed of, or for!

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eevee-morgan

Pathetic Millennials Recognise Weakness And Work To Better Themselves Instead Of Repressing It For Decades Like We Did

Who the hell mock people for wanting to learn?

The person who wrote this article seems to think that human beings are just born Knowing All The Skills We Could Ever Need and that apparently actually having to learn how to do something is something that people should be mocked for

Be Wary

This most likely means the person who wrote this article is some kind of Evil Robot looking down on human beings inability to simply have knowledge programmed into our brains and most likely means us ill will

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When lemony snicket said “i will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. i will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. i will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time. i will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. i will love you if you don’t marry me. i will love you if you marry someone else, and i will love you if you have a child, and i will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and i will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights i prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios i have mentioned. that, beatrice, is how i will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way”

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When lemony snicket said “i will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. i will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. i will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time. i will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. i will love you if you don’t marry me. i will love you if you marry someone else, and i will love you if you have a child, and i will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and i will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights i prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios i have mentioned. that, beatrice, is how i will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way”

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tan-antoni

We need a Karamo Bible

“Gay parents will damage their kids” BITCH WHERE.

One of my few complaints about Queer Eye is how it buries Karamo’s training and experience as a SOCIAL WORKER in the title of “culture” or whatever. The world needs many more social workers and much more respect for the field.

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lovebalm

god im reading a text about romance fiction (especially targeted at young adults) for class and one sentence in it literally made my brain explode because ive been thinking about this kind of stuff too, how “Many people wouldn’t fall in love if they’ve never heard about it before.” and like…imagine there was no ideal/overaccentuated image of love and romance painted in postmodern mass media….how would we love? would it be purer? more authentic? what would we do differently? would we fall in love at all if we werent constantly being fed an ideal concept of love as the norm in mass media? like what is a natural process of human feelings and what is just a projection of how we want to love and want to be loved based on what we’ve seen on tv and read in books etc? in this essay i will

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rabbitrah

w … wh … where’s the rest of the essay, op? 

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nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

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toxicglooo

please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that 

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averagefairy

I cant believe some people have enough money to make major impacts on the world and they just….dont do it. wouldn’t you rather your legacy be the guy who saved the world rather than the guy who had an un-spendable amount of money and hoarded it all I mean we can probably rule out the notion that any one of those guys would give up their billions just out of the goodness of their hearts but I can’t believe the potential headline “multi billionaire donates wealth, single handedly ends poverty” doesn’t appeal to them in slightest 

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