@squidsauz / squidsauz.tumblr.com
love when cats hear that you've woken up even just a little bit and they're like hiiiiiii oh my god oh my god!!!!! i wrote some poems in the night let me recite them for you. this one is called: screaming and knocking your water bottle off your nightstand
ran out of dog poop bags at the park and the only other dog + owner in sight was this microbully wearing pajamas so i asked the guy for some and he said he didnt have any. and i was 2 seconds from saying "ok your little homonculus doesnt shit??"
artist's rendition
yeah “i can teach you” is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. it’s also hot. right
I was thinking "nah, why would they? not the right vibe" and was going to just assume the answer was no, but...
...I was very surprised to learn that in fact, they did. (close by, that is)
How the fuck did they avoid Texas that hard
translation: oh my GOD the duolingo owl has been kidnapped and fried
hey good news
there's a specifically designated role in the naked mole rat ecology for "guy who runs off into the wilderness and fucks their way into a stranger's house"
Y'all have no idea how absurdly strange naked mole rats are as creatures They're cold-blooded mammals that live in a eusocial structure with a queen and drones, similar to ants, bees, termites and no other mammal on the planet. They barely need to breathe, with a respiration rate low enough to let them thrive in burrows with 2% oxygen, and survive with 0 oxygen whatsoever for about 20 minutes with zero lasting effects.
They live for over 30 years, which is absurdly long for a rodent, don't grow frail with age, and are basically immune to cancer because their telomeres just never shorten.
Naked Mole Rats are rodents that attempted to evolve into bugs, failed, and unlocked the secret to immortality in the process.
there's just something so funny to me about shitty harvests
2023 -> 2024
9th doctor you have to stop. your doc martens too classic. your leather jacket too cunt. your buzzcut too perfect. your swag is too lesbian...9th doctor they'll kill you.
please don't scry on me right now im jerking off
Um. *scrys
Oh No what is that thing…
Oh come on it can't be that bad. *Scrys*
You are fucked.
First aid training is actually very serious and I get what this bullet point is saying about hypothermia but this legit fucking took me out:
When I’ve been hangry for a few hours and there’s still no food:
feeling extremely threatened right now
