@2ells2tees / 2ells2tees.tumblr.com
People who think this planet was created for humans to be ours are so wild to me
70% of the planets surface is undrinkable uninhabitable death water that sharks love. How is that a human-centric design.
the earth was created for various types of crabs
society will tell you the creeping charlie is bad and wrong theyll tell you the creeping charlie invades gardens and is a pest but i know the truth. which is that the little purple flowers are cute
dichotomous plants are so weird man. like they’re not even weird it’s the becoming the dichotomous that’s weird. i went to a talk once about a population of strawberries that were accidentally slowly becoming dichotomous and they didn’t even have sex chromosomes, like they had like a bunch of genes across a bunch of chromosomes that did a little bit of sex but not a lot and it added up to one whole sex kind of but not enough that they had all collectively decided to be one sex or the other, so there was still like, a sizable chunk of the population that was producing flowers of both sexes. like they were microdosing it. taking the sex genes for a spin in the strawberry patch
Je pense que les gens qui ne comprennent pas pourquoi l'embarras sur la part de tarte n'ont jamais été dans un petit restaurant français avec juste un menu du jour et n'ont donc jamais connu les hauts et les bas du loto du dessert (pour toujours dévastée de ne pas avoir eu de la tarte à la rhubarbe parce que la dernière part m'est passée littéralement sous le nez) (#rhubarbeGateDe2019)
Thank you for these messages, it got me thinking about the possible rural / urban angle to the matter! In (some parts of) the countryside there can be a sentiment of scarcity / limited resources and opportunities, like if there are no other restaurants, no nearby shops to go buy a frozen pie—and maybe also more of an incentive to take strangers into consideration, because you don't expect to see random strangers ever again in a big city whereas here the person eating nearby in a restaurant might end up being the ally you'll need in a future Complex Rural Vendetta... But also in terms of atmosphere, diners in city restaurants might be more in their bubble compared to a countryside restaurant where people say hello to everyone on their way to their table, everyone is eating the exact same meal, so there's more of a feeling of togetherness even if you don't know these people?
Oh and @ first anon I agree that small rural French restaurants with their unique menu du jour with limited options that often won't be offered again anytime soon are a whole universe where micro-tragedies happen every day. My condolences for the rhubarb tart :(
I went to a restaurant with a friend yesterday and upon entering we saw these splendid blueberry tarts under bell jars on the counter and we made jokey small talk with the waitress like oh, people will fight over these if there's not enough for everyone, it'll tear families apart, are you making more later? and she said no, I'm afraid that's our entire stock for today, but there are 18 slices, it should be plenty! It was a small village restaurant with only one menu du jour so there weren't any other dessert options but they don't usually get that many customers—but then a couple of large groups arrived and most people noticed the tarts like we did, and went ohh blueberry tart, it's been a while, I can't wait, and it became clear that when we'd get to the end of our meal there would be winners and losers in the blueberry tart rush
But later as we were about to order dessert I wasn't hungry anymore and I was like well that's too bad but someone else will be glad to get 'my' slice of tart—and my friend said yeah, me :) You should order it anyway, I'll eat both! At first I thought she was joking, but no. I said, there's not enough for everyone, you can't take two, and she said, we were going to order two slices, what difference does it make? and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart. I felt like we were in a simplistic social justice metaphor it was so obvious, but there was no changing her mind. When I said "it's just... not nice" she said "okay" with a shrug, and what can you say to that. She added, you don't know any of these people and I was like, why are we reverting to tribal dynamics in a non-apocalyptic setting, how would you feel if we'd arrived a bit later and seen others ordering two desserts knowing you'd get zero? And she said, I would think that's their right, and I felt kind of amazed.
I pointed out that if she didn't think it was a wee bit wrong, she wouldn't ask me to order her second piece as if it was for me, and she said yeah maybe we don't need to do that, there's no law preventing me from ordering two desserts. What about Kant's categorical imperative Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test. I felt embarrassed for sounding like an annoying preachy rigid person so I dropped the issue, and as she ate her two slices she'd smile at me every time we overheard someone order coffee without dessert—like "See? There'll be enough, no one will be deprived of tart because of me!" as if that cancelled the fact that she didn't care in the first place. I guess it was one of these tiny issues that can still significantly alter the way you perceive a person. I tried to tell myself not to be so bothered about this small thing but I was! so bothered. And I felt like writing a letter to some agony aunt like "should I end a friendship over irreconcilable blueberry tart ethics"
Two-tarters, one-tarters, people who don't care either way, thank you for taking part in this productive tumblr discourse.
Thanks to which I have (so far) been called 1) a bitter bitch, 2) insufferable, 3) retarded, 4) a robot, 5) a sociopath unfit for human society, 6) a guilt-tripping catholic (that one hurt), 7) problematic for mentioning Kant because he was a sexist arsehole (the Kant mention was not to be taken very seriously; neither was the idea of writing to some magazine column about ending the friendship), 8) a fat-shamer who feels embarrassed by my friends if they eat two desserts (I am so in favour of people enjoying dessert, hence my wish to maximise the amount of people who get the opportunity!), 9) a "judgemental baby" (and told to grow up).
It's been interesting to see the strong sentiments in both directions for this tiny conundrum, and the reasons why, so really thank you to the people who took the time to share their thoughts on this, either to agree with me or to express disagreement without insults! I think we can all agree that blueberry tart is delicious.
May I respectfully observe that the blueberry tart ethics agonies is a wonderful candidate for 'tell me you're French without telling me you're French' scenario? The combination of philosophical gymnastics and patisserie is just....magnifique!
Merci
😂 Trying to think of how to make this scenario more French... like if our Parliament started weirdly intense debates to legislate on this niche issue as a way to distract from more important problems and came up with a law hated by the left and the right somehow, and/or the minister of the Interior declared that anyone buying two slices of pie without a written attestation (that you must write yourself to give yourself permission to buy pie) will be arrested, and he uses a worryingly loose and inexplicably racist definition of "pie", and Parisians started burning stuff by force of habit which led Macron to try and calm things down by a) making Announcements, b) giving a 2.5 hour TV speech no one watches in which he says "Let me be very clear" 5 times and "Whether you like it or not" 10 times, c) promising to organise a Great National Debate on blueberry pie ethics which prompts newspapers to write enthusiastic headlines because they never learn, and which goes utterly nowhere
If Pandolf is being a good dog and you endorse this by telling him “You’re a good dog!” he will go all squinty-eyed with happiness in a way that clearly says “Yes! I thought I was! thank you”
Porcelain Crab, Petrolisthes violaceus, family Porcellanidae, coast of Chile
Photograph by matias_saa
Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)
Me: "Cat, why? Where has this tail been?"
Cat: "Perhaps I explored the tub after your shower. Perhaps I sat too close to the sink. Perhaps it is pee. I love our little mysteries."
I went to a restaurant with a friend yesterday and upon entering we saw these splendid blueberry tarts under bell jars on the counter and we made jokey small talk with the waitress like oh, people will fight over these if there's not enough for everyone, it'll tear families apart, are you making more later? and she said no, I'm afraid that's our entire stock for today, but there are 18 slices, it should be plenty! It was a small village restaurant with only one menu du jour so there weren't any other dessert options but they don't usually get that many customers—but then a couple of large groups arrived and most people noticed the tarts like we did, and went ohh blueberry tart, it's been a while, I can't wait, and it became clear that when we'd get to the end of our meal there would be winners and losers in the blueberry tart rush
But later as we were about to order dessert I wasn't hungry anymore and I was like well that's too bad but someone else will be glad to get 'my' slice of tart—and my friend said yeah, me :) You should order it anyway, I'll eat both! At first I thought she was joking, but no. I said, there's not enough for everyone, you can't take two, and she said, we were going to order two slices, what difference does it make? and I was baffled that she couldn't see the ethical difference between two people eating one slice of tart each vs. one person eating two, when there's a limited quantity of tart. I felt like we were in a simplistic social justice metaphor it was so obvious, but there was no changing her mind. When I said "it's just... not nice" she said "okay" with a shrug, and what can you say to that. She added, you don't know any of these people and I was like, why are we reverting to tribal dynamics in a non-apocalyptic setting, how would you feel if we'd arrived a bit later and seen others ordering two desserts knowing you'd get zero? And she said, I would think that's their right, and I felt kind of amazed.
I pointed out that if she didn't think it was a wee bit wrong, she wouldn't ask me to order her second piece as if it was for me, and she said yeah maybe we don't need to do that, there's no law preventing me from ordering two desserts. What about Kant's categorical imperative Okay I guess you're not breaking any laws by taking more than your fair share of a thing other people also want, just failing a kindergarten-level morality test. I felt embarrassed for sounding like an annoying preachy rigid person so I dropped the issue, and as she ate her two slices she'd smile at me every time we overheard someone order coffee without dessert—like "See? There'll be enough, no one will be deprived of tart because of me!" as if that cancelled the fact that she didn't care in the first place. I guess it was one of these tiny issues that can still significantly alter the way you perceive a person. I tried to tell myself not to be so bothered about this small thing but I was! so bothered. And I felt like writing a letter to some agony aunt like "should I end a friendship over irreconcilable blueberry tart ethics"
thank you for the blueberry tart discourse :') even though i ultimately land on "this is just what being friends with weird contradictory humans is like!" it has been very thought provoking and encouraged a lot of reflection <3 that said. you are so lucky this did not happen on twitter or you would've been on the global news by this evening asdksadksjfjksdfkskfjsd
Please no one screenshot this on twitter or reddit 😭🙏 Tumblr is the better platform to have these debates on and I say this as someone currently being diagnosed with various mental disorders on anon due to my one-tarter stance.
I just made a blackberry tart for 6 people and I will be apportioning it with a goniometer in one hand and my copy of Nicomachean Ethics in the other.
Unless Morille solves this tart dilemma for us once and for all, in her amoral cat way.
I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL
Stop says the red light, go says the green
Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between.
KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL
THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY
@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.
i watched one (1) video on how to draw hands that changed my life forever. like. i can suddenly draw hands again
these were all drawn without reference btw. i can just. Understand Hands now (for the most part, im sure theres definitely inaccuracies). im a little baffled
for those of u asking for the vid!
Dendrogaster (a crustacean that parasitizes starfish)
this is how they look
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CRUSTACEAN.
my tags need to go in the main part of the post actually
this is what im talking about that's fucking horrible. worth noting though that the crustaceans are a broad class of marine animal which include barnacles and such as well as the usual suspects. so the nightmarish vision of a crab evolving into that terrible thing is thankfully not true
IMPORTANT UPDATE FROM @velociraptrix BARNACLES ARE DESCENDED FROM MOBILE LEG HAVING NORMAL ANIMALS. hell world hell world hell world
Oh, it gets better. Barnacles aren't just descended from mobile leg having normal animals, they ARE mobile leg having normal animals! A barnacle larva looks like this:
Waldo Nell, flickr ... and do they ever swim around. Quickly. Effectively. Tirelessly. It's only at barnacle puberty that they stick themselves upside down to a convenient rock and scramble their body plan through metamorphosis. The feeding tendrils (cirri) on adult barnacles are actually the remaining legs! See?
Matt Lau, Point Reyes National Park Yeah... There is in fact a group of barnacles, called the Rhizocephala, that do the ungodly horrorparasite thing. Instead of finding a rock or section of timber, that normal looking larva finds the skin of a host. Instead of turning upside down and growing a shell, it expels a tiny, featureless glob of cells that burrows into the host and begins to grow. And grow. And grow. The resulting animal has no symmetry, no segments, no organs except ovaries. It is a filigreed tangle of thirsty roots, weaving into the host's body, stealing its shape and drinking its life.
And the hosts are?
Conventional crustaceans, like this hermit crab here!! Worst family dinner ever! Yeah if you sequenced the genomes of these entwined bodies you would register kin. There are barnacle relatives that we've only ever seen as larvae because they're parasites and we can't find the host. Hundreds of years of careful documentation and we do not know what they turn into. What a lovely, terrifying mystery!
