dana akdjfjckfjfm
On a scale of this to Barnyard Dick Tits Song how are you handling your cartoon being canceled?
the
I was originally just gonna reblog because of the top tart of the post, but the clip is legitimately funnier than any stand up I've even heard, i actively cannot breathe i can't let anybody notice me laughing, lest they ask what I'm laughing about
I love that this episode really did just confirm wholeheartedly that Orym IS Keyleth's specialist little guy. She's so fucking proud of him. "I'd know if something happened had happened to Orym--I know I'd feel it" that is so abnormal. she loves him so much. Orym is Keyleth's Favorite Princess and I love that for both of them
YES I'M GAY:
faGgot
dykAe (the a is silent)
trannY
i may be stupid
you shut your whore mouth
i won’t hesitate bitch
stop being mean to me
when this post hits 69420 im turning off reblogs
YES I MISSED THE DEADLINE everyone shut up. on april 20 reblogs are going off for realsies this time. cash in while you can
Readers have context you may want to know: It is May 3.
hears someone pounding at my door immediately before receiving this message
Fearne had, in true Fearne fashion, wrapped herself like a personal pashmina around Dorian, which left Orym to curl into his chest.
They had slept this way dozens of times before. Fearne’s blackened fingers wrapped tightly around his forearm as she snored loudly into Dorian’s ear. Orym’s head rested on Dorian’s bicep, his arms folded together between them, and his bare feet were gingerly resting upon Dorian’s thighs just above the knees, as Dorian had coiled enough to let Fearne’s fuzzy leg stretch over his hip. They were exhausted, and this was familiar, and he should’ve been fast asleep.
But Orym’s mind buzzed.
Fearne had always been a strong source of heat, but now she was a furnace, and even without covers it was too warm. But Fearne was not the reason why Orym’s skin burned where it met Dorian’s.
He was a fucking grown man. He was fully capable of admitting that.
Admitting it didn’t change it.
Neither did it change his awareness that Dorian had been too still for the past hour, his breath too precise and measured to be natural as it fell upon Orym’s hair. Orym was not going to presume that the cause of this was the same thing afflicting him; there were plenty of other reasons Dorian would be lying awake tonight.
“My family will find your brother,” he murmured finally, and Dorian’s breath wavered for just an instant before he regained his composure and returned to his measured, singer’s breathing. It was so slight that no one else could’ve noticed it, but Orym noticed. “You said there’s a body— the Tempest can bring him back, or Fearne, honestly—“
“I know,” Dorian answered, and this too was so faint that no one but Orym could’ve heard. “I know,” he said again, as though this one was only to appease himself.
“Do you think… do you think any of Opal is still in there?”
“I don’t know. I could barely tell what was in there—“ he cut himself off. “I couldn’t even help my brother. I think Fy’ra Rai might’ve… she must’ve seen something. I hope so,” he added, inhaling, trying to capture an airy tone that he didn’t fully manage. “The Spider Queen doesn’t deserve her. She doesn’t deserve anything.”
Orym had nothing to say to this. He hadn’t cared what the gods did or didn’t deserve in weeks, but now he could see the vein of fury that sharpened Dorian’s edges. It didn’t frighten him the way it had frightened him months ago, when things had been simpler, when there was not a war to be fought. It simply saddened him. “I’m so sorry about Opal,” he said, after the silence had lingered. “But I’m,” he breathed out a single dark laugh at himself, his selfishness, “I’m real glad it wasn’t you.”
Dorian’s laugh matched his own. “I suppose that is a silver lining.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Orym admitted. It was easier to keep his voice from cracking at a whisper. “I’ve thought about seeing you again so many times— I wish the circumstances were better—“
“I’m here,” Dorian said, for the second time today. “The circumstances tried very hard to make even that impossible, but— I’m here.”
Orym pulled his arm gently out of Fearne’s grasp and raised his hand to Dorian’s cheek. It was too dark to see the tinge of lavender against his skin, but Orym could feel the warmth bloom beneath his fingers. He still couldn’t bring himself to attribute his friend’s insomnia to anything so self-serving as his own, but perhaps it was one factor.
He pulled his hand back. Was there a flash of disappointment in Dorian’s eyes? He couldn’t tell in the dark. But he brushed his fingers together, drawing upon the wellspring of life within the ground beneath this hastily-erected encampment. The Hellcatch looked like a barren wasteland to most, but that life was still present even here.
Perhaps not now, but after a rainy season, the valley would bloom with wildflowers. The seeds waited in the earth for their time to sprout. Life went on, even in the darkest of places.
He produced a small stalk of life from his hands, and held out the tiny bundle of forget-me-nots to Dorian.
He should’ve said that they were for Cyrus, to remember him by. He wanted to say that they were for Dorian himself, that a day hadn’t gone by that he hadn’t thought of him. He didn’t speak at all as Dorian’s hand wrapped around Orym’s, pinching the stem beneath his fingers but not letting go.
“Orym,” Dorian breathed, looking from the flowers to his face. Then a strange expression came over his face, a wrinkle of consternation as he stared into the middle distance. “Fearne, are you braiding my hair?”
Orym lifted his head an inch to peer past Dorian’s ear. He had noticed that the snoring had stopped, but he’d been too caught up in the conversation to process it. Fearne’s wide eyes stared back with perfect innocence, her hands indeed weaving Dorian’s hair into a loose braid.
“Just pretend I’m not here,” she whispered quickly. “I’m totally not here.”
When Orym dropped his head back to Dorian’s arm, he was met with a crooked smile. It was not meant to be disarming, but it disarmed him anyway.
“Just like old times, eh?” he said, but his hand was still around Orym’s.
Carefully, Orym moved to tuck the flower behind Dorian’s ear, bringing both of their hands with him, and then laced their fingers together instead. “No,” he said, and tucked his head so that his brow rested against Dorian’s chin, and pressed their entwined hands to his lips. “But I think that’s okay.”
Just me manifesting some things for next Thursday. 😗 🎶
Opal, Twice-Crowned Champion of Lolth 🕷️🕸️🕷️
—
(Billie Eilish’s “you should see me in a crown” playing in the distance)
return of the king <333
Welcome back, Blue Boy!
Yes, everyone else has already done one, but I'll throw one more on the pile before I vanish into exam-marking (while being sick) again. And DAYUM! Why oh why didn't I look up "sheer shirt" when Robbie said it instead of now after the pic is done?
Tomodachu
Some drawings I did while excited about Gen 4 Pokemon :3
I asked my friends on Discord if they used "psipsipsi" or "swswsw" when they are trying to call kitties, and I got a wide array of answers and it got me wondering--
How do you
Thank you to @space-glitter-gay, @frogs-under-logs, @justoneofthosebibliophiles, and Virginia for the blessing and the other options!
And to thank you for your answer, here's a photo of our adopted kitten:
"Everything the light touches belong to us"
i love that skepticalfrog post where dean realizes cas is just Some Guy to literally everyone else and then he has to chew on some leather [ID in alt]
kills me that this is the best visual storytelling i’ve ever done
I’ve been a changed person since I found out that all of Santa’s reindeer are gals
they’re wHAT NOW
gals, theY’RE GALS
male reindeer shed their antlers at the end of mating season (early December), while females keep theirs during the winter
and what do Santa’s reindeer have?
ANTLERS
top ten funniest things to say to a first grader when they're acting up.
these are all a hundred percent effective btw. i use them multiple times a day
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
