Remember when we'd sing just for the love of it...

I went on a road trip with Hozier, and he told me everything was going to be okay.

I'mma need one-a-dees badboys tnite

Hozier covers ‘Ain’t no sunshine’ during Billboard live | Tribute to Bill Withers

Hozier is just like "I'm a corpse in the woods I have a complicated relationship with religion and I'm tastefully horny" and we all collectively went "same"

Today on Hozier Tweets:

During this whole quarantine I’ve been wondering if Hozier is taking a moment to chill and play some Animal Crossing.

i like the sistine chapel ceiling a lot better now that i know it was painted by a gay man who was motivated entirely by spite

Wait… whaaaaaaaaat? Where can I find the story behind this?!

Lol, here’s how my art teacher explained it:

The pope went to an artist, saying “We want you to paint the Sistine Chapel”. 

At the time, one did not simply say “No” to the fucking Pope. But this artist really didn’t fucking want to do it. So, clever little cookie goes “Dude I’d love to, but I’m unworthy of such an honor! You know who’s an even better painter? Fucking Michelangelo! Go check him out!” 

So, the Pope trots his little ass over to see Michelangelo and straight up tells him “I want you to paint the Sistine Chapel, and what’s his face said you’re the fucking best in the whole wide world.”

Now, Michelangelo, is one of the few people who would genuinely have been sassy enough to tell the Pope to go fuck himself. Besides, his true passion lies in sculpture, not in painting. Don’t get me wrong, he’s good at it, but he likes sculpting more. And just like the clever cookie artist, he knows that painting the Sistine Chapel is going to be a bitch. But he said yes. Why, you ask?

Pride.

If he turned the pope down, it would be as good as saying he actually wasn’t the bestest in the whole wide world and like fuck he was going to let that stand! So, he spent the next several years painting the Sistine Chapel, bitching about it to anyone who would listen (seriously, the letters that he wrote are fucking gold!), and attaining new levels of pettiness never before seen! 

There are cherubs doing hand signs that were (at the time) the equivalent of flipping the bird. He painted a great big picture of the gates of hell right behind where the Pope’s chair would sit! And so much more!

Michelangelo had exactly zero shits to give by the time he was done painting that fucker.

someone post the letters & cherubs

Those are the cherubs, and in the second picture there are the gates of hell.

The guy on the right, the one with the snake biting his private parts, is actually a cardinal that was angry at Michelangelo!

And, just so you know, all the people in the picture were painted naked. Then, after Michelangelo’s death, the pope listened to the cardinal and he asked to a painter to add the clothes.

ALSO; The skin of Saint Bartholemew has Michealangelo’s face on it because he felt as though he was being skinned alive because painting the chapel was such a BITCH

this man was every level of gay pettiness oh my goodness

SOME MORE STUFF:

so yeah, 1500s drama is fucking hilarious, here’s a small article on this but ignore the last paragraph about raphael going back to his own work and “scraping it off the wall”, the work they’re referring to is the one shown above and all he did to it was add in michelangelo because he’s a gay bitch in love he respected the hell out of michelangelo and admitted that he was doing a fucking awesome job with the sistine chapel

hope you enjoyed this bunch of random knowledge that i do not know how i came across knowing but i do

This just in: all the artists of the Renaissance (including the writers) are just petty gay bitches.

you don’t know what petty means until you’re a gay artist forced to accept major commissions from the roman catholic church 

The church: so what are you going to paint?

Michelangelo: cocks. Just. So many cocks. On everything.

The church:….

Michelangelo (still trying to get out of it): cocks or no deal

I just wanted to toss in there that Leonardo and Michelangelo hated each other so much yall don’t even understand. Leonardo was constantly saying sculpting was a lesser art specifically because it was Michangelos favorite and he hated his guts. When Leonardo was commissioned to make a sculpture of a giant horse (his dream for some reason??? Idk he just really wanted to make this horse, he tried so hard to get so many people to pay him to do it) Michaelangelo was just like “Oh, sculpting huh? :) How nice for you. :) Guess you’re a lesser artist now :) :) :)” and was constantly ragging on him when a piece was cancelled/didn’t turn out.

Also, didn’t Raphael basically die from fucking too hard?

Hozier Performing Shrike on the Late Late Show

@turninghoziest

hozier singing about bones, dead bodies, preys, predators, decomposing, satanic sacrifice, oral sex:

me and the girls:

Hozier : lesbiaaaannnn

when hozier's album goes from 'shrike' to 'talk' immediately after:

As it was by Hozier

A mood board

@turninghoziest