Send me a symbol for my muse to come clean about:

• ❝  That barely covered vagina of yours deserves better than that. ❞
• ❝  I appreciate your anger. ❞
• ❝  Your chief complaint is not that I screwed someone; it is who I screwed. That’s what it’s about, right? ❞
• ❝  Your issue with us is purely driven by a societal insecurity, not to mention a culturally infused female competition. My heart goes out to you ladies. ❞
• ❝  My therapist suggested I attend a twelve step program, for recovery from a love addiction and romantic obsession… ❞
• ❝  I cheated on you. ❞
• ❝  You’re not an addict. You’re just a whore. ❞
• ❝  I did let someone put a protein bar up my ass once. ❞
• ❝  I will straight up murder you if you do not sign this immediately. ❞
• ❝  I love kids. Kids love me. I basically am a kid. ❞
• ❝  But I would still choose you. Possibly because you’re uninterested. Most likely because you’re stunning and successful. ❞
• ❝  Sexual anorexia. It’s like depriving yourself of sex because of low self-esteem, or abuse or other gnarly shit. ❞
• ❝  I’m telling you, someone’s gonna murder us if you keep screaming. ❞
• ❝  Was this supposed to be a date? Oh shit, it was… Oh hell. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, I’m a dick. ❞
• ❝  You’re a catch! It’s true. You know, I’m serious. You’ve got a strong vocabulary. You look dynamite in a tank top. ❞
• ❝  You know, little girls are told someday they’ll find The One. What they don’t tell you guys is that The One might be a complete fucking dickhead with a boring heroin penis that turns you all into a sex addict. ❞
• ❝  Some have suggested that I have a little bit of a problem staying faithful… for long periods of time… or possibly at all. ❞
• ❝  Look, once I come to the realization that I’m with- the wrong girl, I don’t know how to end it. ❞
• ❝  So you sabotage it by sleeping with other people. ❞
• ❝  Then comes the big old rigmarole of like ‘you’re afraid to commit’ and it’s like ‘no, I just don’t want to commit to you.’ But I can’t say that, because that’s like mean on top of mean… So instead I’d rather just say something like: ‘I fucked your sister.‘ ❞
• ❝  Whoa, since when are you a porn star with killer grammar? ❞
• ❝  Look, she’s my best friend and I would say by circumstance and certainly duration, you would be my next best friend. ❞
• ❝  It is a cascading shit storm that is your creation. ❞
• ❝  A tremendous amount of Malcolm Gladwellian logic jumps. ❞ 
• ❝  We’ll you’ve spent ten thousand hours fucking my life up. ❞
• ❝  Dude get the fuck out of here, I got it. ❞
• ❝  I appreciate your concern, Superman! Fly away. ❞
• ❝  Baby. Just breathe will you. Okay? Will you? Here, come on, sit down. You’re gonna be okay. It’s alright, you just got to breathe. Please. Okay? Yeah. There you go. ___ , this is just fear. ❞
• ❝  You take this risk when you start sleeping with people. You know, you risk losing them. So for me, I’ve never slept with someone I wasn’t willing to lose. Except one time. ❞
• ❝  And it kills me that you’re probably gonna go to ___. And it kills me that I can’t ask you to stay, because I have no right to, you know. ❞
• ❝  Welcome to the hell scape that is my son’s birthday party. ❞
• ❝  Dude… are you really using your kid to hit on my friend? ❞
• ❝  First part false. Second part true. ❞
• ❝  Do not gaslight me with SAT words and sliding scale morality. ❞
• ❝  You want to tell me about it? ❞
• ❝  You never told him to make a choice, you know. ❞
• ❝  Are we in love with each other? ❞
• ❝  I love you for free. ❞
• ❝  Unfortunately I don’t sleep with men in relationships anymore. ❞
• ❝  I stopped cheating anyway. ❞
• ❝  We’re getting a chance to start over. ❞
• ❝  Goodbye forever. ❞
• ❝  Hey, did you know they don’t have a separate jail for cool people who fucked up? There’s just one big old jail for everyone. ❞
• ❝  I sort of beat he shit out of him. Fucked up his life a little bit. ❞
• ❝  I just really miss you. ❞
• ❝  Yeah, I think about you like, all the time. Even the word “think” is wrong, because I don’t actively do anything. You’re just here. ❞
• ❝  I’d rather fail with you, than win with anyone else. ❞
• ❝  I love hearing you say my name. ❞
• ❝  Okay honey, you’re on speaker phone in a police station. Be very careful what you say. ❞

• Since you’re doing such an awesome job, you want to have a little blast from the past with you-know-who? 
• Pick whoever you want, as long as she says yes.
• Are you okay down there? Your penis? I mean, that guy, he, uh clomped on it.
• I mean, I just said that it was happy hour at the Pussy Bar.
• You see that? I am everywhere.
• And this was your shot to prove to me that that fundamental fact was sinking in, and you failed.
• Which sucks, because your life was about to get so much cooler.
• One, you wind up on the spike and you work for me as a dead man.
• Wow! You don’t scare easy.
• Lucky for you, she’s not feeling too thirsty today.
• Ah, hell, I forgot.
• Your mouth is all puffed up like a baboon’s ass.
• I like hustle.
• But believe it or not, things weren’t always cool between us.
• And then I married his super hot wife.
• What, does the cat got your tongue? You’re just overwhelmed by the awesomeness of this? I’m gonna ask you one more time.
• Ain’t my problem if he made a dumbass choice.
• Little pig, little pig, let me in!
• Oh, you better be jokin’.
• I know I had to make a pretty strong first impression.
• Well, hello, there.
• Do not make me have to ask.
• I missed you.
• Ha ha ha! Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
• Do I get mad? Do I throw a fit? Do I bash some ginger’s dome in? Nope.
• Hot diggity dog! This place is magnificent! An embarrassment of riches, as they say.
• You don’t look at him, you don’t talk to him, and I don’t make you chop anything off of him.
• You don’t decide what we take.
• You see this? This is the kind of thing that just tickles my balls.
• A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as punch.
• You see, we really are reasonable people once you get to know us.
• What do we have here? I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky-deaky.