"Capitalism breeds innovation" girl there are only five websites left and they all look the same

please let your voice shine gorgeous

x x x

Further Americanisms that tell you to check on your American:

been better = in hell

doin’ alright = sad, needs hug

pretty great! = genuine actual baseline. Anything else ranks beneath this. Be Aware.

I’m here, ain’t I? = Defcon 5

Because someone asked, indications that an American is actually Having A Good Day include:

"Livin' the Dream!" - actively daydreaming about swandiving into a woodchipper

taylor swift is compelling to me as a horror figure

i think it’s a different form of horror than the psychological price-of-fame horror of something like black swan or even tár… and it’s not really the fame horror you can evoke with the idea of say marilyn monroe, there’s no head shaving like britney.. It’s not tragic like that, theres no crack in the plastic. it’s more about like brand-as-horror. it’s ontological metaphysics horror. What is it like to be a brand. whats the line between the person and the idea of them. the horror of one’s Image. Does taylor swift feel like a real person? What does it do to you to have to perform every single day of your life everywhere you go with nearly no reprieve, and even the mundane things you do are a knowing part of the performance, and even then it’s performance in service of…. what, exactly? bland catchy pop music that plays at target. hints towards art, but again, it has to exist within the brand.. it’s all for nothing. mediocre synth wobbling our way to Maximum Tswift Saturation. existing across all nodes of pop culture, all the time.. Having to at once be eternal victim to root for and overpowering billionaire uncrackable unfuckable monolith. Monoculture as horror. The ship of theseus of a body and mind constantly repackaging itself as a brand. But maybe she was always this. Was she ever there. There’s something thrilling about it, something mildly reprehensible, but it’s also tragic in its own way… It’s something you cant look away from. She is cthulu to me

still amazes me that by season 45 or whatever, Supernatural was being exclusively watched by delusionally hopeful women with flamingo-salinity tolerance for bad writing and the creators still couldn’t pander to them because maybe there was 1 straight guy out there still accidentally watching it

Anyway keep up the good work everybody

Please be meek and polite when protesting your genocide. 🙏

you can only reblog this today

Here’s that horse again

*in the tone of a estranged grandmother*

You love horse

Horse was always your favourite what happened?

so nice you see him twice

Wow... Bad ass...

Seriously badass and awesome 💗

clown bears 💖🎪

this blog takes requests!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Just discovered the reddit genre of “supportive parents of messy gay teens” and why is it weirdly heartwarming. We’re moving past “help my son is gay!” and towards “help my gay son has terrible taste in men!”

i'm so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.

wine for idiots

WHITE WINE

if you want to make a wine person very unhappy, say that a white wine they like "is giving me a little green bell pepper?"

RED WINE

honestly the only two questions you need to start credibly talking about red wine are "does it taste like red fruits (strawberry/cherry/raspberry) or black fruits (blackberry/plum)?" and "does it taste oaky (i.e. gently sweet and earthy in a way youd associate with coffee or chocolate or warming spices)

if its a fancy dry wine (not a dessert wine, not port, manischewitz or markovic) dont say "sweet," say "juicy"

FIZZY WINE

if its red and fizzy its probably a lambrusco

if youre drinking champagne talk about the "minerality," even chalk notes if youre feeling gutsy. you dont have to taste it just say it

ORANGE WINE

this is very trendy. youre gonna want to talk about its "funkiness." if you use the term "gym socks" at the right time you will get a round of laughs or at least knowing nods. if you see shmutz in the bottom dont worry about it.

MISC

if you want a wine person to talk for a while and not ask you any questions just ask them how they feel about natural wine. theyll go on for a little and you can decide to agree or disagree based on how hot they are

i dont think anyone should know anything