An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Literally the only destiel proof I need is the scene where lucifer mimics how Cas speaks to Dean and it’s just an immediate switch into poor little meow meow vibes with the big puppy dog eyes

Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?

good

“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”

Shout out to Harry Hill

I think Piers is somewhat of a national laughing stock by now

if I don’t reblog a good burn on piers morgan, assume I’m dead

The logic of “Brands will only hop on the train if they can prove it’s profitable” makes it so much funnier when they clown on this fool. “Yeah we crunched the numbers and we found it to be profitable to call this clown out in public. Jacob hit the post button.”

You were not crazy, folks, and I need to lie down.

❝ And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one… that I suspect would hurt something awful. ❞

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

“i love bible”

Gomez Addams is often appropriately categorized as a wife guy, but very rarely recognized for the himbo that he is

#actual spn line

NO OTHER PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM GETS TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSES!! THE SIZE AND DISTANCE OF OUR MOON FROM EARTH AND THE SUN MAKE THE PERFECT CIRCUMSTANCES TO GET TOTALITY!!! THE EARTH AND MOON ARE SOOOO COOL AND OF COURSE OUR SUN!! I LOVE LIVING ON EARTH I LOVE YOU EARTH I LOVE YOUUUUU MOON I LOVE YOU SUN

Mother Fucker Unlimited

BIG CHUNGUS

It’s Meep! Meep is a bit of a celebrity in the axolotl world. She is believed to have a form of dwarfism and is not significantly overweight, although she looks it especially in this photo.

The owner is a well-known and experienced handler who has four other axolotls that are way more… axolotl shaped lol. But she is healthy, not being overfed or suffering due to poor husbandry.

Actually Cute!

jack harkness rose tyler & the doctor are like the world’s most fucked up polycule and yet I wish every day we got more of them together. throw mickey in there for the hell of it its so funny. jack is like “we’re all bffs but also you two are in love with each other but also I’m desperately in love with both of you” and rose is like “i flirt for fun & as an expression of affection. because i’m young and recovering from an abusive relationship i have trouble quantifying my existing romantic feelings. i’d make out with either or both of you at the drop of a hat. it’s so great that we’re all friends :)” and the doctor is like “i am in love with rose tyler i want to spend the rest of my lives with her she is everything. however i am a monster and i destroy everything i touch so instead i will be fucking jack harkness on the tardis floor”. and meanwhile mickey just wants them to meet up with him on time for once

i think rob zombie was really speaking for all of us when he stressed how important it is to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches and slam in the back of one’s dragula

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

obsessed

I had a class called "What is Evil?" The professor called us his "evil students" and I got to say things like: "I have evil class later." and "I have readings in evil to do." and "Well my evil professor said..."

I miss having that class

hitting dorian gray with a car and he stands up completely fine meanwhile in his attic a painting flies off the wall and lands in a splintered heap

had a dream that I met a wizard and we fell in love and became unhealthily attached to each other so we decided to meld into one single creature together but the process was horrifically slow and painful and most of the dream was us lying in bed holding hands while lesions opened up in our skin and seeped out blue and green fluid and the wizard said "this is going to take a very very long time" and I said "that's ok"

the critics are raving

You know, the solar eclipse is bringing out something in humanity that I always love to see. Humans making a big deal out of something we can't change, celebrating and laying picknicks out to see a giant rock pass in front of our light source, passing around special glasses so we can all observe the sky being different for a few hours together...

The cuteness of it all, the child-like wonder of it all, the feeling so small of it all...

The world isn't perfect but humans try their best to enjoy what we can when we can.