Monarch_Dedede

It’s a rock fact!

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I think most non-Jews don't know/understand American synagogues are under siege, having to pay huge amounts for security, both to have armed guards, but also installing bulletproof windows and doors and putting up anti-ramming barriers. It's getting really bad out there and I never see anyone who isn't Jewish talking about it.

he’s a fun time!!!

I didn’t know the writer that came up with this idea is a woman. I am so motherfucking proud right now.

I SAID, BI TIM NATION HOW WE FEELIN???

I've never felt more validated by my own fucking comfort character

Batman: Urban Legends #6 by Meghan Fitzmartin, art by Belén Ortega

i might be about to go hardcore no retouching no filter. im getting like radically alarmed about what real time video filtering and just basic digital retouching is doing to peoples brains. not just kids either but adults who were around before it was a thing

Tiktok has been applying a face shrinking beauty filter even if you turn filters off, it’s fucked

this is absolutely terrifying. this is an actual cognitohazard. this should literally be illegal

my “compulsory retouching is causing body dysmorphia on an unprecedented scale and should be treated as a public health crisis” post is raising a lot of questions already answered by the post

Back when I was a teenager, I very quickly decided to not wear makeup every day because the people I knew who did got so used to seeing themselves with makeup, their brain couldn't handle them without it anymore. They hated mirrors because they didn't look like themselves without makeup, they'd apologise for not wearing makeup even if you visited them when they were sick at home, and at one point I even remember my mum being terrified of leaving the house because she'd ran out of eyeliner. And I mean proper "I can't drive my child to school like this, what if someone sees me, also my car has mirrors" terrified. And I'm not saying everyone who wears makeup on a daily basis is like this, but it sure was a noticeable trend.

This was way before every phone was a portable camera because I'm old as balls in Tumblr Time, so if you wanted a selfie, you either used an old school camera and had the pictures developed, or you saved up for one of the first digital models which you probably shared with the entire family and which had the same amount of pixels as a a goddamn potato. So, home-made pictures made you look either bad, or just like yourself.

(And sure, magazines were already edited to hell and back, they have been since their conception in the 18th century, but the average person didn't have access to Photoshop and such yet unless you were a professional photographer venturing into digital photography.)

So yeah, be terrified of this compulsory editing, because it's exactly the same thing except it's digital instead of physical, and no amount of contouring will achieve that face slimming thing TikTok does.

Y'all look normal, trust me. No, I don't care who you are and what features you hate about yourself, this goes for all of you. You've just been conditioned to believe you don't by digital editing the same way my mum was conditioned to believe so by eye liner, foundation, facial razors, and concealer.

It is much cheaper and easier to simply have a face

idk can we stop…treating a.ce disc.ourse like it’s some haha funney cringe compilation or whatever the fuck because it fucking destroyed the entire ace and aro communities. there is no solid aspec community on tumblr anymore (which was by far the biggest number of aspec ppl). exclusionists took our community and fucking smashed it to pieces and y'all treat it as this fucking stupid joke when they traumatized, gaslit, and abused an entire group of queer people back into the closet. fuck every single person who doesn’t take that seriously.

My personal experience is just that, but it’s really indicative that I have watched almost every single ace and aro person I know, irl and online, actively recloset themselves as a direct result of the consequences of The Disc Horse™

I watched irl queer groups disintegrate bc a few ppl who got into leadership positions used that to make the space hostile towards ace ppl (among others as well), saw friends go from being loud and proud aces n aros to actively avoiding any mention of it and letting ppl assume their sexuality. I myself, having been IDing as ace for 10 years at least, have in the past couple since this whole “"discourse”“ came into being, actively and intentionally stopped telling anyone at all that I’m ace. To put that in some kind of perspective, I am incredibly out as trans and will actively out myself pretty constantly except to total strangers I will never see again. I feel safer telling ppl I’m trans than ace. Especially in queer spaces. It’s fucked me up so much I didn’t even quite grasp how much but today my therapist asked me for the first time about like romantic relationships and I physically could not say I am aro and ace. Completely incapable, utterly frozen, and I just kinda let her believe what she will. Ironically the fact that I’ve gone from being willing and ready to tell ppl I’m ace as just another facet of myself to entirely unable and unsolicited to tell anyone, is probably a thing one might want to talk w one’s therapist about.

This has really fucked not just the community at large but fucked up individual ace ppl in so many ways. It’s not something “funny” or remotely harmless, it’s absolutely devastated us.

for people in the notes looking for “elder” aces, i just wanna say that i’m 28 years old and am also desperately searching for that representation. i first found out about asexuality through tumblr when i was 21 and started identifying as asexual when i was 21-22 (around 2012). i’ve sought other online ace communities but nothing compared to tumblr. i mean, props to aven for existing as a repository of resources but in terms of just chatting with other aces “in the wild” as it were, tumblr was the perfect place.

but then this fucking shit happened. around 2015 is when it really kicked into high gear. “discoursers” or exclusionists or aphobes or however you want to refer to them consider asexuality to be a joke and that everyone who identifies as ace is a cringey cishet college-aged white girl who loves dr who. recycled biphobia, homophobia, and even terf rhetoric made its way into the mainstream tumblr conscious by reframing the arguments to target ace people (you’re only X because you’re ugly/can’t get laid; you aren’t part of the community if your partner is of a different gender; maybe something happened to you to make you this way; have you had your hormones checked?; by accepting this identity you are allowing the oppressor to infiltrate our spaces; etc.). you know, in case you think this is just about “snick snack” memes.

this has alienated ace people of color, who already struggle with desexualization/hypersexualization, disabled aces, ace survivors, trans aces, mentally ill aces, neurodiverse/AUTISTIC ACES (you guys get REAL fuckin nervous when i highlight that the majority of your jeering about aces’ perceived awkwardness, missed social cues, infantilization/dehumanization, or “unfuckability”/“cringey-ness” are repackaged ableism, especially considering that a good percentage of the ace community is also autistic), and both young AND older aces. 

younger people are being discouraged from exploring the possibility of being asexual by exclusionists for reasons that vary from internalized homophobia to asexuality being a side effect of SSRIs. they are being told that they are “actually” something other than what they say they are, or that they are broken, or that they’re too young to know, or that our ace identity is simultaneously something that must be excruciatingly examined to determine its “cause” yet so irrelevant that it’s unworthy of discussion or representation—”nobody cares that you don’t want to have sex”. i WISH i had known about asexuality as a teenager, as a kid. I wish i had saved myself from so much grief, abuse, pain, and corrective rape by not subjecting myself to experiences that i hoped would “fix” me. 

and older people like me, who in the grand scheme of things is uhhh really not that much older than the majority of tumblr, are ridiculed for having a presence on tumblr in general, let alone as an asexual person. aces over 30? 40? 50? unicorns. conjured rhetoric. people straight-up don’t believe they exist. people ten years my junior attempt to deny and erase the lived history of aces by saying asexuality was “invented” only ten years ago. i have been terrified of attempting to enter Q* spaces irl because i have heard from even my IRL gay friends that aces do not belong, that “it’s not important enough to form an identity around”, that we are not oppressed enough or we just desperately want to be oppressed. 

i have only heard in passing of people much older than i am who are ace. i have absolutely zero examples to turn to of people like me continuing to live a long life or any evidence that i am worth loving unless i become a parent, which i don’t want to do. when you’re a teenager there’s more discussion about sexual boundaries, but what about dating in my 30s? what adult is going to be satisfied knowing i can never validate their sexual attraction, unless they were ace like me (less than 1% of the population)? am i forced to be alone forever? you can imagine how bleak my future feels. 

it pisses me off that i’m seen as a curmudgeon who “just doesn’t get the young people’s humor” when i have to beg people that i consider friends, for the eight billionth time, to stop making/reblogging jokes about how “cringey” aces are or are tongue-in-cheek declaring themselves to be aphobes, and then those people try to assuage me with respectability politics about how it’s about “THOSE” aces on tumblr and not, yknow, me, who is “one of the good ones”. and since the jokes themselves are so juvenile, it further compounds on the poor social graces and stoicism assumed of asexual people if I’m getting upset over ace war criminal moodboards or whatever the fuck. EVERY time i post about asexual ANYTHING on tumblr, to this day, i lose followers. without fail. people dont bat a lash when i spam 20 untagged posts in a row about a fandom they dont care about but i post two positive words about asexuality and theyre gone.

the environment promoted on tumblr condemns asexuality as a social deficit, as an attack on other Q* identities, as a subject of derision and embarrassment, as an identity lacking in “woke” capital, and makes every effort to expunge us from communities we have already belonged to in favor of making our own while also actively seeking out and dismantling those communities. if tumblr really is in its last days, i sincerely hope that these awful practices will die with it. 

“I feel safer telling ppl I’m trans than ace. Especially in queer spaces.”

Unfortunately this.

I could go on and write mini novels about my experiences as an ace person but I’ll keep it short.

I’m in my early 30’s, still ID as ace. At the moment I’m questioning demi-ace as a possibility, but it still goes under the aspec label so, meh?

QPP @kamorth is a late 30’s aged aro ace, and I know a few people who are much older that I highly suspect are aro, ace, or both, but they just don’t know about those terms.

The discourse about asexuality is pretty shit. And that’s without bringing aro into it. Even within the community it’s not great. I ended up unfollowing all the ace positivity blogs I used to follow because the communities seem to go through these weird phases of what is and isn’t “acceptable” as ace. It seems to mostly be about if aspec people can want relationships or not and if they should and what not. Like, some of us (like me) do want relationships, and some of us don’t. That’s putting it simply and there’s of course a lot of variation with each person but like, these concepts can both exist at the same time within the group. We don’t have to demonize one to support the other.

Anyway, there’s too much discourse both within the aspec communities and outside of it.

Aros, aces, and aro aces are LGBT+, our experiences aren’t all universal, and that’s cool yo.

every person can feel freddie’s presence in their souls when they sing MAMAAAAAA UUHHHH, I DONT WANNA DIE, I SOMETIMES I WISH I’VE NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL with all the air in their lungs i’m not joking

it’s fucking crazy to think about the amount of people who have sung bohemian rhapsody? like it’s such a unifying song, by nature of the fact that so many people know it. it holds so many good memories for me and other people. it’s a song you scream in the car with your friends while you drive around your boring hometown, it’s a song you drunkenly sing with your arm around your best friend, or a song you sing along to with strangers when it’s on in public. it’s bittersweet to think about freddie’s legacy carrying on like that through his masterpiece. freddie carries on because he’s a part of so many people’s good memories and bohemian rhapsody is a huge part of that.

Reblog if you have sung bohemian rhapsody with your friends

every time i see this post i’m reminded of the video of 65,000 people singing bohemian rhapsody in near-perfect harmony

like, what other song can make that claim?

Some of the highlights of that video include:

Only days before my state went into lockdown, “Bohemian Rhapsody” came on in the restaurant kitchen I’d just been hired at and, no shit, every single worker in that little diner started singing along. Me (the only queer afaik), the manager, all the other kitchen workers, the dishwasher up front, the two people on the counter, all but two of the men over 30. Just belting out Freddie Mercury at the top of their lungs. And you can bet when “sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all” came around, we every single one of us ramped up the intensity and basically made sure Freddie could hear us in the afterlife.

This is the song to play at my funeral

Dex: (instigating) Chowder: touch the lobster, nursey!!! Nursey: i can’t believe my friends to whom i’ve only shown love and kindness would treat me this way A knock out illustration by @mynameismad for the Check, Please!: Year Four Kickstarter! Follow her on Instagram, Twitter (she also has an 18+ Twitter 👀) and read her webcomic Sakana.

do you ever think about just how much thad deserved redemption, like... more than many many others?

like he was literally born just to contrast bart. that's all he was ever meant to do and he was never free to do anybody else! and you remember how sad he was when he realized he'd be condemned to! never meet true love! and live life like a teenager! that he experienced once! and once you know something beautiful to lose it is much worse than never having had it!

and he never had a chance to truly live that life! he died a villain! and still nothing else but the opposite to bart! instead of! getting a chance to know who he really wanted to be! even if he'd still chosen to be a villain-- he owuld've gotten to! choose his own path!

i live my life in the knowledge of how sad this is!!!!

just made a which embarrassing batkid outfit are you quiz because i had nothing better to do lmao

Damn, I got Discowing. I was hoping for Uternet 🤣🤣🤣

I took it and I absolutely can't argue with the results 😂😂😂

But I do argue that it's not the worst outfit in existence.

I'm not crying you're crying <3

Something truly beautiful to get me through the week

what a week huh?

THIS WAS OVER A WEEK

“Uh oh, the boys!”