♠ every day a new deception ♣

ooc;;

// -looks around like... where the fuck am i- tumblr looks. different. hi, it’s 8.21am and i haven’t slept yet. still alive guys o/ may......... do stuff here. this year. p’raps. >_>;; who knows -rolls back into the abyss-

ooc;;

// Hey guys! Just checking in, since the world is friggin’ scary right now. I’m still kicking about. Mental health’s, uhh, real bad... but new meds soon, which’ll hope.. fully?? Help???

UK’s in official lockdown due to the current pandemic as of tonight, so that’s wild. Here’s hoping the British people actually honour it, and stop being a bunch of selfish gits.

Still busy, unfortunately OTL So I ain’t ready to make a return yet, but I miss you all, and I hope you’re doing okay ;;

Stay spooky, friends! And wash your hands <3

ooc;; // -whispers- It’s 4:04am, and I’m still not dead. Also holy fuck it’s been like. 7 months. Time is a fucking lie.

Still not really in a good place to be active again -- but hi, hello, I love you all and I hope you’re staying hydrated <3

-disappears into the night again-

ooc;; // Yooooo. Just popping in to let you guys know: The situation hasn’t improved, because this house is shit and I’m sick of living with an angry teenage cishet boy who constantly sets off my anxiety, but I have nowhere else to go because I have no friends or family I can turn to. Also the UK is currently tearing itself apart over Brexit, so that’s a thing. Might die of starvation / lack of medicine in the future if we crash out with no deal, hahaha. So yeah, everything is bollocks, and I hate it, and I’d love for everything to just stop.

But I’m not dead! So that’s something. Hope you’re all staying hydrated and being nice to yourselves, even when it’s really hard.

Dunno when I’m gonna be about again, tbh. I miss writing, but I have stuff I need to get done first. Hopefully soon.

See you guys. Stay safe, okay? Oh, and watch the Steven Universe movie. The animation is gorgeous <3

ooc;;  // What Time Is It? It’s Hiatus Time!

Guess who’s stressed?! It me!!

Yeah, so I keep having ugly crying meltdowns and they’re getting more frequent, because I have a Lot To Do for someone who is unemployed thanks to severe mental health issues, and I need to take something off my list to even begin to approach other things without imploding and putting myself in the hospital (that’s a joke, ha ha, continuous intense stress can only mean good things for your health. It’s character building!)

So for now, I’m just gonna take a break from tumblr, and hope that everyone still wants to write the things with me that I’m still super into, but have no time for right now, when I return. Because the constant thought in my head of “I need to reply to these things otherwise people will stop writing with me”, and the  G U I L T  of not putting out replies in a timely manner, despite this not being an Actual Job with Actual Time Limits, and nobody Actually Cares how long I take, is just shovelling twelve tons of stress dirt on top of the Mt. Stressmore that my life has become. Plus, for the writing partners that aren’t my actual friends, it’s like “oh no, I’m wasting their time, and they’re gonna hate me, and never wanna write with me again”. Which I’m sure is a really healthy mindset to have when pursuing a Fun Hobby in search of Having Fun for Fun’s Sake [insert thinking emoji here].

So I’m going to just tell myself that I don’t need to write anymore for the foreseeable future, which will strike off the many many many drafts I currently have, for two whole blogs, and hopefully that will give me the breathing room to do other things. Like art commissions, and adoptable work, and personal projects I hope will eventually make me a ton of money so I can move out of my mother’s house and pursue a home where I’m not confined to the Two Person apartment Kit and I have transformed this Single Bedroom For One into. 

And I didn’t mean for this post to turn into one of those fast-talking comedy acts sprinkled with the kind of depressing humour only a person who writes jokes for a living can come up with, but that’s kind of what my internal narrator has turned into, and it’s spilling out onto my keyboard like the bottle my emotions are kept in whenever a minor inconvenience decides it wants to ruin my life -pause for laugh-.

Anyway, tl;dr, I’m going on Break for the time being and I’ll update you whenever I have cleared enough off my plate to actually enjoy being here again, instead of my drafts folder threatening to blow the top off Mt. Stressmore (which I forgot to mention is actually a volcano, just completely filled to the brim with bullshit instead of lava).

So see you when I see you, and I hope you don’t miss me too much. 

Haha, jesting. You probably won’t even know I’m gone considering my recent activity. 

See ya o/

ooc;; // Made a scheming boy on this thing (which I stole off my dash). He has a plan to get rich quick, and somebody should stop him before he loses something vital.