@ekjohnston / ekjohnston.tumblr.com
sometimes revision is gritting your teeth while your editor deletes commas so you can win a different fight about ellipses, and sometimes revision is trying to decide if "thisclose" is a concept that translates to print or researching monarch butterfly migration for a throwaway simile
...it really depends a lot on if I'm being nice or not.
Steve Rogers taking off his helmet is a sexual experience. His helmet hair is enough of a turn on, but my sexual orientation is Steve speaking French.
The most beautiful scene out of the entire series.
I cried like a bitch
We are so lucky we are still alive to see this beautiful world.
Look at the sky. It’s not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there, lighter blue. And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the wind swirling through the air and then, shining, burning, bursting through, the stars. Can you see how they roar their light?
Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.
Oh Leverage <3s my OT3… posted because trailofdesire needs to see this vid. Also because everyone else out there who’s fond of Leverage should as well.
thingswithwings is a GENIUS.
This vid was awesome to wake up to this morning. Thanks to giandujakiss for the rec!
Have I recced this already? DOESN’T MATTER. IT DESERVES MORE.
Parachute by thingswithwings. Alec/Parker/Eliot.
I made printedsoot Calvin and Hobbes style Leverage OT3 fanart for Christmas. Tiny, grumpy, upside-down Eliot Spencer might be one of my favorite things I’ve drawn all year.
I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL
Stop says the red light, go says the green
Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between.
KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL
THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY
any thoughts on elf sexuality?
ONLY ALL OF THEM
The interested reader should consult What Tolkien Officially Said About Elf Sex, the most extensive guide to elf sexuality I’m aware of. Also, be aware that I haven’t read Silm and anything in here contradicted by Silm is a result of ignorance.
The bits I find interesting are that (1) elf marriage is defined as being sex— the party is considered a good idea, but strictly optional, (2) elves don’t commit adultery and (3) elves can apparently tell from the way someone moves whether they’re wed or unwed. Now, this may just be that elves are Good Catholics, but are you kidding, there is an opportunity for my favorite tropes. I propose: elf hypermonogamy!
(I actually totally thought elf hypermonogamy was canon until I was researching my answer for this ask. GODDAMMIT TOLKIEN.)
Elves are universally demisexual: they literally do not experience sexual attraction to people they aren’t in romantic love with. Elves are only capable of being in love with one person at once. It takes them a long time to get over love; it’s quite common for a rejected elf to never fall in love again, and most of those who do go centuries before they do.
So, how does that affect my favorite ships?
I feel like Legolas/Gimli is super-more-awesome if Legolas was literally never sexually attracted to anyone before Gimli and has no idea what this emotion is. So he is all like OH GOD THIS DWARF IS SO ANNOYING >:( >:( >:( I JUST WANT TO THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME. BECAUSE HE’S ANNOYING. I WONDER WHAT HIS HAIR FEELS LIKE. And eventually this gets to the point where even Mr. They’re Taking The Hobbits To Isengard starts wondering if something’s up.
and then at Lothlorien he seeks the advice of Galadriel and Galadriel is like “Legolas, you’re in love” and Legolas is like “???!???!!!!!!”
and Galadriel thinks to herself “JESUS CHRIST, Legolas, Luthien and Arwen are one thing, human boys are sort of cute, but DID YOU REALLY JUST FALL FOR, OF ALL PEOPLE, A FUCKING DWARF”
(and then Gimli does the hair thing and she’s like “well, at least he has good taste”)
and then Legolas ends up having sex with Gimli. Now, dwarves totally have a culture of warrior homosexuality. (Also: everything homosexuality????) So Gimli is all like “ah, yes, manly men blowing off some steam in a manly way after battle, this surely does not mean Feelings” and Legolas is like “:( :( :( I will go stare at a river and write love poetry in Quenya more beautiful than the hearts of Men can bear” but he totally doesn’t let Gimli know because he doesn’t want to Pressure Gimli Into A Relationship and also because he will Take What He Can Get
and then at some point Aragorn is sadly singing to himself about Luthien as is his third-favorite hobby (behind beard growth and still not being king) and Gimli is like “why the hell would she give up her immortality anyway, dude, it’s fucking immortality? why can’t she marry an elf instead” and with one thing and another Aragorn ended up telling him about the Elvish Facts of Life
and then Gimli storms up to Legolas and is like YOU KNOW USUALLY I LIKE TO BE INFORMED WHEN I’M MARRIED TO PEOPLE
and Legolas is like “…I’m… married to you but you’re not married to me?”
and Gimli is like I DON’T KNOW WHAT NANCY SHIT YOU PONCY MOTHERFUCKERS GET UP TO BUT AMONG DWARVES MARRIAGE IS USUALLY CONSIDERED A TRANSITIVE PROPERTY
and Legolas was like “I am sorry, I understand if you will never speak to me again” and he is mentally drafting, like, the world’s saddest poem, like, it will win the Saddest Poem contest Elrond holds every year
and Gimli is like YOU FUCKING MORON OF COURSE I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU HOW ELSE CAN I GET TO SHOW YOU ALL THE PRETTY CAVES
and Legolas is like “oh. Oh!”
and then he ends up smuggling his boyfriend into Valinor, I assume by just sort of shoving him into the luggage. “Dwarf? What dwarf? I don’t have a dwarf. What, no, my bag isn’t wriggling, you’re seeing things. Gosh, there are weird sounds on the sea, that one sounded almost like the word ‘fuck’.”
also I feel like this whole thing makes Elrond and Arwen infinitely more amusing
Elrond: NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MARRY ARAGORNArwen: GRANDMA DIDElrond: AND LOOK WHERE THAT GOT HERArwen: I DON’T CARE I LOVE HIMElrond: THERE ARE LOTS OF NICE BOYS IN VALINOR, I’M SURE YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE ELSEArwen: NO I WON’TElrond: …fuck. You’re right.Arwen: (looks smug)Elrond: you know Elros really had the right idea, immortality is awesome but at least HUMANS HAVE THE CONCEPT OF SERIAL MONOGAMY
the story of owen: dragon slayer of trondheim - e.k. johnston
HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT AODHAN OMG THAT IS PERFECT AND ALSO THANK FOR SCOTT MCCALL!
This is now old enough that the person cast to play Owen should be Aodhan instead.
(this is a metaphor)
“metaphor”
sometimes revision is gritting your teeth while your editor deletes commas so you can win a different fight about ellipses, and sometimes revision is trying to decide if "thisclose" is a concept that translates to print or researching monarch butterfly migration for a throwaway simile
A great thing about ME1 is that all of your companions have daddy issues, except Kaiden, who doesn't have daddy issues because he accidentally killed a man. Like, there is so much commitment to daddy issues that Liara has them, and her species is entirely female.
In ME2, of course, the trend continues by turning the dial up to 11 and breaking off the knob, and Grunt doesn't even have parents (until I adopt him, obviously).
Somebody on the radio recced this vid today, of all things. (I assume they were talking about this one—I can’t imagine a vid that packs more different movies into one song.)
Love this song, and the vid is just fun and joy. A+, will watch again.
There was a fanvid called Strip that was very much like this, but I think it has been Lost To Time.
Somebody on the radio recced this vid today, of all things. (I assume they were talking about this one—I can’t imagine a vid that packs more different movies into one song.)
Love this song, and the vid is just fun and joy. A+, will watch again.
My favourite scene. Oliver’s Porthos is a legend.
For a chase, the Cardinal recommends his excellent ‘24 Cabernet. You can’t have any, you’re too young.
OMG SOMEONE MADE A GIF SET! I quote this scene all the time. No one ever knows what I’m talking about. Bless tumblr. (P.S. If you have not see this adaptation, you really should. It is a delight.)
