Closer To The Edge
Chapter 107
I sat quietly, listening to Jared talk to his mother on the phone, just waiting for him to tell her the big news. Unfortunately, he hung up without uttering a single word about the baby to her, or anyone else, and I couldn’t understand why. Frowning, I glanced in his direction and then back down at the game on my phone. I know he noticed me looking at him because he reached over, grabbed the hotel stationary pad and ripped a piece of paper off, balling it in his hand. He then tossed it at me and when it landed in my lap, he clapped. “Five points for that one. Come on Mia, I see that disappointed look, but I’m just not ready to tell anyone yet.”
I picked up the crumpled up paper and threw it right back, hitting him in that goddamn stupid hat he is so insistent on wearing. “Whatever. Game over, I win,” I said flatly. Raising my blouse and unbuttoning my pants, I opened the denim material enough to expose the very small bump protruding from my lower belly. “Does the idea of having this baby scare you?”
“No!” He blurted out like I insulted him for asking such a thing. “Is that what you think?” He questioned, ripping off a fresh piece of paper, but this time throwing it with a little more force. It landed in my hair and I yanked it out, throwing it on the little end table next to the couch with an eye roll. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’d like to be in the same room with my mom when we tell her?” He asked, raising his brows and folding his arms, like a grumpy child who didn’t get his way.
“Well, that’s not fair! I am ready to tell my family, but I can’t until you tell yours. Do you know how hard it is to keep a secret this big?”
“Too bad.” It was an asshole response and I huffed at his cold demeanor. There was complete silence between us for a few minutes and I stared down at my belly, feeling so frustrated with him for not just telling me what was on his mind. He was obviously still pissed at what happened between us the other day. Despite the heart to heart we had right after the fight, his feelings were still hurt. It’s funny because he seemed fine yesterday and even cuddled me before falling asleep last night. However, he had been really quiet during our outing today and after only a few minutes of relaxing, he appeared to be annoyed with me again.
“Jared come over here, please.”
He locked eyes with me, narrowing them like he was trying to decide if he really wanted to. Finally, he got up, rounding the table that separated us and slumped down next to me. He rolled his head to the side and raised his brows. “What?”
“Obviously you’re still upset with me. You want to talk about it?”
“Well, you did accuse me of cheating.” His voice had a hard edge, almost furious in his matter of fact statement. Guilt seared through my head, listening to his words. They traveled down my throat and settled in my heart. An ache rippled through me and my lips trembled. How do I undo the pain I caused him?
“I did, and I am genuinely sorry. Jared no man has ever treated me like you do. I know I’m not perfect, and I’m going to make mistakes, but that’s life. I can’t help the fact that I get jealous easily. I wish I didn’t, but one of your best qualities is that you never stay angry.” I covered the back of his hand with mine and placed it on my belly. “Please don’t change on us now. God, especially now when we need you the most.”
His voice softened and any signs of moody, grumpy Jared seemed to fade away. “I told you, my feelings for you will never change.” He sat up, rubbing his hand over my tummy. “So this is it, this tiny little bulge?”
“Yes. Hey, do you want to hear the heartbeat?” I asked, noticing that any signs of anger had simply faded away. “How do we do that?”
I got up and rushed over to my bag, flinging clothing out left and right, searching for Sophia’s little magical machine. Finally, I located the box and the small tube of KY. Holding it up for him to see, I took the device out of the box and showed it to him. “This thing is amazing.”
“Lube?” He raised an eyebrow and the look of concern suddenly appeared on his face. “Okay, what the fuck is that, and where does it go?” Jared pointed to the probe and I bit my lip, watching his face turn from curiosity, to horrified in a matter of seconds.
“Not where you think!” I couldn’t stop the laughter from escaping as I adjusted my pants, pulling them even lower and gesturing him to get up. “So, I’m gonna lay here and I want you to take some lube and rub it on my stomach. Then you turn this thing on and hold this to my belly. I think Soph said the lower the better.”
He sat on the edge of the couch, patiently following my instructions step by step, and for the longest few minutes of my life, we heard nothing but static. I took the probe from him and began moving it even lower, determined to find what I was looking for. Finally, the faint sound of a rapid thrumming came through. I’ll never forget the look on Jared’s face when hearing it for the first time. “It’s so fast!” Jared’s brows raised and the feint curving of his lips made my heart swell. Fuck, I lived for that perfect smile. His big blue eyes were wide and sparkling with delight. Nodding, I could already feel my eyes beginning to water. He slid down onto the floor, between the table and the couch. His expression reminded me of a kid waking up on Christmas morning to find this enormous gift, one so big it couldn’t fit under the tree.
We stayed there for the longest time, just like that, both of us, caught up in listening to the life growing inside of me, but eventually, the baby must have switched positions and we lost it. Jared stood, sauntering over to the bathroom to grab a few warm washcloths to clean my belly and the equipment. “So, what does it feel like?”
“What does what feel like?” I lay there, watching him step closer and sit down on the edge of the couch, first wiping the lube from my belly, and then cleaning up the small probe.
“Being pregnant. Do you feel any different?”
I stretched out on my back, unable to wipe the smile from my face. “Actually, no, I feel exactly the same.”
“I need some air.” He stood up and walked to the French doors leading to our private balcony. When he went outside, I got up and fastened my jeans, hurrying out behind him.
“You okay?”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m a father.” He looked so stunned, like it had finally sunk in that this is really happening. “God, that sounds so strange.” Staring out to our amazing view, he appeared to be in deep thought. Jared dropped to his knees, raised my blouse and pressed his lips to my belly. His beloved fedora fell off, hitting the ground and I grinned, running my fingers through his silky hair. “I promise to try and be the best father I can be. And I want him or her to have all of the things I didn’t have growing up.”
With the biggest smile on his face, he got up, gripping my hand and pulling me inside. “Where are we going?”
“Let’s Skype my mom first and then your parents.” He let go of my hand and raced over to the laptop. “Sit on the couch baby.” He plopped down next to me, opening it up.
“I thought you wanted to wait until we were home to tell anyone.”
He was suddenly overcome with excitement. “No, I don’t want to wait. I want everyone to know, right now!”
😭😭😭❤️
