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Aros, Aces & Aesthetics

@salemwitchhunterofficial

An unfortunate student who was reading "The Crucible" when they named their account
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salemwitchhunterofficial

Asexual trans boys starting testosterone are absolutely amazing. Dealing with increased sex drive can cause lots of confusion and if the ace label doesn’t fit you anymore you get to explore a new emerging part of your identity. Ace trans boys deserve all the love and support

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salemwitchhunterofficial

The way this was prophetic. I was making posts about going on testosterone before I even knew I was trans. I’m not actually that much more horny than before starting hrt but I’m much more accepting of myself and the fact that my sex drive isn’t going to just go away. So actually, it’s nice to look back and see me tell myself that this is just a new facet of my identity that just doesn’t fit my old labels anymore.

All of this is a long way of saying that I’m not asexual anymore. I haven’t fit that label for a while, and going on testosterone has helped solidify the decision to stop calling myself ace. I don’t think I experience sexual attraction the same way that other people do, but I also don’t think I lack attraction. It’s hard to describe what I feel but it doesn’t bother me. Anyway, this was just an update on where I’m at and finally accepting something I’ve been scared to say for a while.

#this is mostly a rant#my entire life is a crisis
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greyro-problems
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prokopetz

Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.

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prokopetz

“Yes, in the balance of consideration this person’s behaviour could certainly be interpreted as flirtatious, but it would be purest arrogance for me to just assume they actually meant what they said. I should gather more evidence. Forever.”

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I probably sounded like an ass at group therapy today but we were on the topic of relationships and it did not make sense to me. The general theme was that breakups are especially difficult because relationships are expected to last forever if you’ve found “the one” and that you can’t find solice in friendships because friends aren’t expected to last long. Also, relationships seemed to be the only source of physical intimacy. When I asked what made the emotional intimacy with romantic partners different from friendships the concensus was that relationships provided a clearly defined place of openness and belonging.

The one thing that did make sense to me was a girl who said that she used to define herself through her relationships, but realized that wasn’t a fullfilling way to live dispite what amatonormativity teaches. Instead, she seeks out connection to enrich her life rather than complete it. Relationship hierarchies are complicated, and bringing it up in a room full of alloros caused a lot of discomfort because to them relationships really are different than friendships in a way I as an aro can’t fully comprehend. However, it was nice to be able to see the shift in thinking of relationships from the inevitable to the voluntary and to get people thinking about how they value and perform friendships.

Did they think I was a pretentious freak? Maybe a little, but I hope they left valuing their own autonomy more.

#aromantic#it was both facinating and horrifying#these people were so emotionally closed off from anyone nonromamtic#one guy was in therapy specifically because he had no emotional outlet other than his ex#my entire life is a crisis
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Where’s that post that explains why “love is love” as the offical queer slogan™ is assimilationist. I’m aromantic, asexual, and trans, and none of my queer identities are considered by people who whittle down the LGBTQ+ community to “people should be able to love who they love” In fact, it isolates me specifically because of aromanticism by making “love” the only common thread between all of humanity. Who decided love was more important than being?

#just you wait im going to find that post#aromantic#asexual#trans#still queer#my entire life is a crisis
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