I feel like an NPC character when...

I’m on register at work: ~waits patiently behind counter with absent smile until a customer walks close enough and/or shows necessary amount of interest ~has a set script of prompts in my head to follow during transactions ~cheerful yet non-descript customer service voice and can repeat same exact tone infinitely. ~breaking from prompts or skipping through parts may cause minor glitches, such as accidentally repeating the same prompt again or completely skipping necessary ones ~absentmindedly tends to my area using the same five or so actions in a continuous loop until new person arrives ~Abnormally knowledgeable in my craft ~wears same outfit every day ~Nothing unusual phases me ~walking away and coming back is like a brand new interaction. I have little to no memory of you

Me as a college professor

my mom wanted one big stocking for all the pets this year and she chose to get it embroidered to say “FURRIES” on it. nobody wants to tell her

and to all a good night

Signs you grew up lonely

- Chasing people who don’t want you

-Making up lots of stories and worlds

-Overtalking whenever there’s someone to talk to

-Excessive reading

-Daydreaming

-Clinging emotionally to others

-Being the ‘disposable’ friend in the group

-Excessive baths

-Talking to oneself

-Obsessive friendships

-Excessive helpfulness

i put “All I Want for Christmas is You” through a MIDI converter, and then back through an mp3 converter

the result is this garbage

I’m driving myself up the wall because I swear I can hear the vocal line but I don’t know how that could be if it was truly converted to MIDI. Unless you can replicate speech sounds entirely with modulated MIDI notes, in which case I’m actually impressed with this tire fire of an MP3.

hey tis the season for me to reblog this piece of shit monstrosity that ruined my life forever

Officially setting as ringtone

Happy Christmas

I’ve had this scheduled to be posted since December 31, 2016 at 2:42 AM.

that fish blog is 100% run by feds

i don’t really give a shit about this tumblr being removed from the app store thing but above all i am really glad this is happening now and not in 2011 so i don’t have to scroll past some “PSA: TUMBLR HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE APP STORE!” “oh HELL NO!!! Dr who fandom grab your tardises!!!” “*50 gif reaction images of the supernatural guy looking pissed off” type of shit

inspired by @foulguy’s post

Man human imprinting is crazy. My friend’s roomba zoomed by me and I got this intense urge to reach down and pat it. Like it’s just a machine? But it’s a good boy? It spends all day cleaning and sleeping and exploring the house and never complains and it’s just so good little robot? Pet robot?? Pet the robot????? Why am I like this???

i love when my preschoolers pretend to be talking on the phone bc if u leave them to their own devices and observe they just start saying things they’ve heard adults say into the phone like “hello i have an appointment, i’d like some rice”

When my sister was three, my Dad worked from home a lot. He runs his own business and deals a lot with customers and with red tape and other things.

Naturally, my sister had picked up a lot of these phrases. And as a result she could fake her way pretty well through an adult phone conversation. 

This became relevant when telemarketers called the business line one day. My dad told the guy “Let me turn you over to my assistant” and promptly handed the phone to my three year old sister.

Mind, I don’t actually recall any of the dialogue. I do remember my sister keeping the guy on the phone for a good couple of minutes, asking him questions related to payment and things. Finally, the guy wised up. I don’t remember what my sister said, but I do remember the last lines-

“Ma’am, how old are you?”

“Three” c:

*click*

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all