You're right. The Police don't consult amateurs.

i often wonder how many ppl from 2012 tumblr are still active on here

are u also still here, lurking in the shadows????

did you main super, who, or lock back in the day

if youre tagging this with “none i had good taste and was better than you“ i know you have skeletons in your closet its okay to laugh about it

Not everyone gets to leave 2014 Tumblr

nevada is filming the secret episode of sherlock s4 as we speak

imagine being at a class reunion like, yeah remember hot tom? i heard he made all of his friends get ugly matching skull tattoos and call him a really ugly french name and also I heard his nose is gone. weird.

I didn’t realize this was about harry potter for a second

Hi hello could we please make sure that no one watches this and that it flops. Moffat can’t get back on his bullshit in 2020 let’s all leave him back in the 10s thank you very much.

Just a few reminders

“women are needy”

“my wife is growing a whole ass human but all i can think about is whether or not i’ll still be able to stand to have sex with her after”

Here is my contribution

BITCH this is what dracula looks like in m*ffats new show?? This plain motherfucker? Where’s the style, the flair, the theatrics?? Where Is It

Leave it to mark gatiss and steven Moffat to take a story and attempt to “improve” it by removing all the appealing aspects of it

this is so heterosexual im disgusted

He looks like a medieval peasant someone get him one of those leather skullcaps

I am simultaneously not surprised and disgusted.

This dude looks like a chartered accountant who does taxes for fun.

Now hang on- Absolutely every tax accountant I know desses MUSH sharper than this.  If I saw any of them turn up in this drab-ass shit I’d assume they were in the middle of a major depressive episode and in need of HELP.

What happened to THIS?

Or this?

Or this?

Or even this?

Like put some EFFORT into it!

BBC’s new Dracula is ‘bi-homicidal’ not bisexual, says co-writer Steven Moffat

In the three-part series, it is insinuated that Dracula (Claes Bang) has sex with Jonathan Harker (John Heffernan), the solicitor sent to his lair in Romania.

Moffat told The Times, however, that it is not strictly correct to describe Bang’s Dracula as bisexual.

“He’s bi-homicidal, it’s not the same thing,” said Moffat. “He’s killing them, not dating them.”

So glad to see that Moffat still has no idea how to sound witty without coming across like a prick

"Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?"

-The sorting hat

Harry Potter and the Problematic Author, a fanzine by Maia Kobabe. You can find a print version of this zine in my etsy shop. 50% of print proceeds are donated to the Native American Rights Fund. This zine was made possible by my wonderful patreon backers. 

instagram / patreon / portfolio

Full transcript below the cut: 

Keep reading

I wanted to thank everyone who bought a copy of this zine, either as a PDF or a printed copy. I’ve been able to donate almost $500 to the Native American Rights Fund so far! 

the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised 

I feel like the modern equivalent is that guy you think is super well put together until you find out exactly how much red bull he ingests on a regular basis.

Modern Sherlock is that very nice English Professor-seeming guy who you bring a problem and while walking from the door of his office to his desk he starts explaining the entire solution you need

And upon reaching his desk he’s like “Excuse me one moment.” and pulls out one of those huge Monster canisters they legally aren’t allowed to make anymore, cracks the whole thing, chugs it, takes a deep breath, and then nods at you and is like “Alright, and then what you need to do is…”

Imagine how much better the dynamic of bbc sherlock could have been if they did this.

why even modernize it to energy drinks??? coke didn’t go anywhere. we still have coke. energy drinks aren’t NEARLY chaotic enough. 

Its is more like you hiring some guy to do private investigation about how your husband maybe cheating on you and Sherlock comes to your house high as fuck. Walks into your living room and without taking a moment to even talk to you or sign any paperwork, he turns around—pupils as big as god—and just says

“Its your best friend Brenda. I’ll email you the invoice.” 

and walks right out of your house. 

Because when it was written cocaine was legal and even considered healthy and useful by some laypeople, even though doctors knew it wasn’t, and Watson was always trying to stop people from encouraging Sherlock’s addiction because HE KNEW BETTER.

So consider this, Holmes, at 2am, desperately searching the flat for the stashes of NOS cans, only to keep coming up with passive aggressive pamphlets about the dangers of caffeine overdose.

Watson wakes up to a stench like Satan’s ass to find Sherlock sitting by his bed with a re-heated pot of cold brewed Deathwish Coffee that had been hidden in the back of the toilet tank (brewing) for five months.  Sherlock is trying to say he’s proud of John’s cleverness in finding most of the stashes, but he’s passed into the fifth dimension and all John gets is a creepy vibrating grin and a sound like a shaken cat.

TLDR, Sherlock did die when he fell off the Falls, but he was so coked up his body didn’t stop moving until like a decade later.

Sherlock as one of those cryptid types the baristas talk about (there’s a post floating around somewhere) who comes in and orders a venti with as many shots as they are legally allowed to add, plus a few more for good measure (and a hefty tip) and then adds energy drink on top of it before chugging the whole thing, to the absolute horror of the cafe staff.

This is the kind of Sherlock Holmes discourse I demand on my dash. Bring me more!

The appalling travesty that was BBC’s Sherlock has infested the Sherlock Holmes fandom like a malignant tumour so I want you all to know how awesome the OG literary Holmes was:

I will reblog this always.

Ron just got his howler from his mom yelling at him for stealing the car. He seems super embarrassed and most of the Great Hall is laughing. But here’s the thing:

Ron is 12 years old.

Ron stole a car.

Ron fucking stole a fucking car at the age of TWELVE.

I would not be laughing at him. Ronald Weasley is a fucking bad ass. When was the last time you jacked a car Malfoy? That’s what I thought. Bitch.

Harry woke up at 3 am, wrote this, and went back to sleep.