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I'm So Polyglamorous

@everythingisnightvale / everythingisnightvale.tumblr.com

25. Pansexual. Gender? I don’t even know her!My ask box is currently OPEN for headcanons and OPEN for imagines, moodboards, and ficlet requests. Don't be afraid to send me something. Icon by not drawn by me! I had this commissioned at a con. I no longer have the business card but it’s signed Brit & Bran.
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December 15 2019 - The UFC’s biggest MAGA piece of shit (other than president Dana White) Colby Covington just had a title fight against Nigerian immigrant champion Kamaru Usman. During the fight Colby got his jaw broken, got knocked out in the last round and then proceeded to literally run away during the champ’s victory announcement. [video]/[video]/[video]

This fight is greater than me just beating up a guy that’s talking a lot of shit. This fight means a lot to me, so when I get a chance to put my hands on this guy let’s just know it’s the wrath of every single immigrant that has stepped foot in this country.” - Kamaru Usman
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rcmclachlan

Turns out, 2000 was 20 years ago. Which is odd, since 1980 was also.

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rhube

The thing Gen-Z really needs to understand is that no one older than them is ever going to be able to estimate time correctly because the Millennium.

The Millennium will always be Not That Long Ago. Everything since the Millennium will always be, in some sense, ‘new’.

It just broke us, OK? It was too big and we’ll never quite be able to deal.

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lrgcarter

Was the real millennium bug inside us all along?

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jenroses

yep.

I think at least part of this is that pop culture has gotten such a longer shelf life over the past 20 years.

You can listen to a Top 40 station now and hear a song from 10 years ago easily, even songs from the 80s or 90s on special occasions (which might just be the Nineties at Noon or whatever every single day).

A Top 40 station in the 80s? Played the current fucking Top 40 and that was it. You were lucky if you heard a song that was one year old, definitely never ten. I was born in 1979 and heard almost no music from before I was born until high school or college. If you wanted to hear anything older than a year, you had to listen to a classic rock (late 60s to 70s) or oldies (50s to early 60s) station. There was nothing earlier than that on the radio.

A restaurant was playing What a Feeling, from 1983. 28 years before my son was born. That’s the equivalent of hearing a song from 1951 in the late 80s, which just did not happen. Even for an oldies station, it was hard to find anything that old.

VCRs were just getting big in the mid-80s, but there was a limited selection of videos you could buy (or even rent) for them. Most video rental stores didn’t bother to stock TV shows, it just wasn’t worth it. (Few shows were even released on VHS.)

So you could generally watch recent movies and “classics” but if you were looking for some random movie from the mid-70s - that’s only ten years previous - you were mostly out of luck. Imagine looking for a movie from 2006 right now, and you can find maybe the top-grossing ones and a few that won Oscars, but Night at the Museum? The Devil Wears Prada? You’re shit outta luck. That’s what it would have been like looking for movies from 1976 in 1989.

So for those of us who grew up in the 80s and early 90s, pop culture had a hard limit of about a decade, if that. By the late 90s, the internet was good enough that music was starting to stretch that, but you still couldn’t really get video through the internet and DVDs were still catching up in terms of what was available. You didn’t really get entire seasons of TV on DVD until the early 00s - the first season of The Simpsons, which aired in 1989, wasn’t released on DVD until 2001.

Anyhow, I think that’s why a lot of older millennials and Gen Xers are having trouble wrapping our heads around the idea that the year 2000 was almost 20 years ago. Because we grew up in a world where if you heard a song regularly, or watched a movie or a TV show that wasn’t late-night reruns, it had probably been released within the past 5 years, and almost definitely within the past 20. Our brains haven’t quite gotten used to hearing a new song followed by a 30-year-old song on the radio and not just being able to find any decade-old movie at will but seeing gifs of decade-old movies almost daily. Our brains think that means those things must still be new.

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lostmind3

I have never heard anyone explain it so clearly before. And I LIVED it.

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cheeso

i have been in america lately and tried its Various cuisine’s here is my review

wendys

  • what i had: four for $4 burger and lemonade.
  • what i thought: this is the same as mcdonalds but there is a smiling girl! the guy who invented wendys was called somethng else so who is wendy. Food apparaition?
  • rating: 3/5. food was boring but mysterious girl warmed my heart

cook out

  • what i had: hot dog and shake
  • what i thought: holy shit. also milkshakes in america are like, solid ice cream. i was expecting nesquik
  • rating: 5/5. the hot dog was nauseating but cost a dollar and the cashier liked toys

steak n shake

  • what i had: you can only have burgers and shakes from this restaurant so thats what i got baby!! when in roam!! hasta la vista!!
  • what i thought: siri didnt know how to get there so we got lost on the highway at 1am. WOOPS!!! thats the american life
  • rating: 4/5. tasted like i was dying, but pleasantly

cracker barrel

  • what i had: friday fish fry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • what i thought: there was lots of old people in this restaurant. the waitress avoided me because my nails were painted. this is a well documented phenomneom but biscuits are definitely something different in this country than my country
  • rating: 2/5. scary torture cabin

costco

  • what i had: piza slice
  • what i thought: i know this isnt technicaly a restaurant but drinks were 50 cents so it gets an honorable mention. there was a crate of mayonnaise but i didnt try that.
  • rating: ???/5. costcos most precious secrets are lost to us all

chipotle

  • what i had: burrito. do they make other things?
  • what i thought: the logo is a chilli pepper but there werent actually any chilli peppers you could have in the food? i enjoyed the dainty red basket
  • rating: 3/5. guess burritos just always taste good, no matter what theyre made of. i think the chipotle burritos were made using some kind of food product but im not sure.

sonic drive thru

  • what i had: loaded chilli cheese dog’ fourht of july baby!! happy star wars day
  • what i thought: very inconceivable. there is a sit in a drive in and a drive thru and the sonic drive thru person comes over to your car in roller skates. its a made up cartoon store. it doesnt exist
  • rating: 5/5. we spent 20 minutes googling if you tip at sonic and in the end we drove off so my guilt prevents me from assessing it poorly

taco bell

  • what i had: it only sells tacos in like threes so i got three tacos.
  • what i thought: its like a dorito with a leaf stapled to it. why is it called taco bell? also, who am i, inside?
  • rating: 4/5. i flung six tacos in the microwave when we got back and i enjoyed watching them roll over each other playfully -  made me think of my childhood and the political conspiracy around my birth.

sheetz

  • what i had: chicken nuggets at 2am
  • what i thought: it was interesting that about half of the items on the interactive menu ended with a ‘z’ rather than an s. while that was fun - i would not go so far as to say i died at sheetz but i certainly did not leave it in one piece due to the colossal spinning death blade embedded into the milkshake machine
  • rating: 5/5. ordering entirely through a little touchpad is a natural progression in a society of unwholesome, evil food production and distribution
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raychjackson

my kind or content

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aavec

Please read this whole thing because it only escalates the food related nonsense

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Ashe: Your 2020 campaign slogan is your name, plus 2020, plus the last text you sent.

Ashe: Mine? Ubert 2020: Yaaaaaaaaaay

Felix: Fraldarius 2020: You’re a piece of shit and I can prove it mathematically.

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Ashe: What's wrong Ingrid? You look down.
Ingrid: I just feel lonely.
Ashe: But you have all of us! Plus, your pegasus!
Ingrid: I know, but I can just never shake the feeling I should have... more. Like, two sisters who also ride pegasi.
Ashe: Huh.
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sylvainslut

Sylvain, taking off shirt: man, it sure is hot in here!

Felix: yeah, I know, but why are you taking off my shirt?

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fungifanart

Do you ever wonder if Byleth ever goes to the holy tomb just to confide in the other Byleth about stuff they have to put up with during the war?

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Female Byleth: *complaining about how Linhardt constantly skips training in favor of napping in an unknown location*

Male Byleth: *knows the exact locations of all of his napping spots since he married him in another timeline*

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Male Byleth: *theorizing about why Sylvain hasn’t come back with any women in the past week*

Female Byleth: Oh yeah. Him and Felix are f*ckin’.

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Female Byleth: Which books do you think I should get Ashe for his birthday?

Male Byleth: *Takes out his list* Which ones does he have?

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Male Byleth: *Crying about how he can’t marry Dimitri/Claude*

Female Byleth, who hasn’t been able to unsee Hilda’s titty window for a month now: I feel you, Bro.

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