Subscribe to my OnlyFoes for an opportunity to get your shit rocked by the Auntie Anne's pretzel stand at the mall. Giving away discounted subscriptions to 25 lucky people who have never experienced the rush of combat. I will personally introduce you to the linoleum tiling in a Dress Barn with devastating combinations and spin moves for just 4.99 a month.
Hansel & Grethel : & other tales - Arthur Rackham, ill. - 1920 - via Internet Archive
*vomits black goo for like five minutes* oh shit hey! i didnt know youd be here so early
DONATE BLOOD WITHOUT WARNING OR PERMISSION
Internet Recipe Anectodes vs FF14 Quest Text, FIGHT
You walk into the kitchen and I’m wearing gloves and goggles and welding a sandwich together
red mages are called that because they derive their power from the immortal science of marxist-leninism, and are strictly speaking a kind of cleric, but traditionally not classified as such due to the USSR’s policy of state atheism
NOT TO BE TRUSTED:
Selection Line:
• “Bout time you finally asked. [Affirmative Hawkmoth Chirp]”,
• “It’s Shoutime! [Disapproving Hawkmoth Chirp]”
Job: Magitek Commando (Tank)
Weapons: Shou wields an axe constructed of Hawkmoth’s exodermis into battle. Some abilities also involve a segmented sword-whip extended from her free hand, which doubles as a magical focus for her ranged abilities.
AI Behavior: Shou’s a “Magitek Commando”, which functions as a highly mobile tank, with all the essentials of a Shadowbringers tank kit (3-part single target combo, 2-part cleave combo, gap closer, stun, silence, highly damaging but resource-dependent OGCD abilities, mitigation, party buffs). Her combat animations feature her strafing around, under, and through the enemy like a Ninja on PCP (though her hitbox remains steady where she was, so the enemy’s facing doesn’t change). She eagerly uses gap-closers to resolve threat problems. but her FAVORITE thing to do, however, is dashing over to interrupt casters and then use her disengage ability to return to the scrum of other foes.
Shou tends to build up power with radial AoE before picking a foe and going completely JOHN FUCKING MADDEN with explosive abilities drawn from the Warrior, Thaumaturge and Gunbreaker pools-- loads of shotgunlike bursts of aetherial fire, lightning, and ice. She’ll target foes with a mischievous looking cat marker, applying the debuff ”Firing Solution”, which causes a detonation of aetherial flame when the foe suffers a direct crit from any source as well as denoting her primary target. Many of her abilities cleave or otherwise damage surrounding foes, creating puddles of aetheric napalm, tentacles of liquid metal chaining from foe-to-foe, or just whooshy-whooshy cleavey-trails of light and dark.
Differentiating her from conventional tank classes, Shou knows a reskin of Rescue, “Recuse” (appearing like a Mortal Kombat chain-yank), and “Death Defy”, an Elusive Jump clone which also roots her target for 3 seconds. Shou never Rescues players unless it’s a lethal mechanic, but will wrangle other NPCs out of AoEs.
It’s my Fanon, and I can have tons of custom rigging if I want
Battle Lines:
“You shoulda run!” - Starting Attack Line, Gauge under 50%
“[Distorted Scream]” - Starting Attack Line, Gauge over 50%
“[Sarcastic] C’mon, c’mon, keep trying, I’m sure you’ll hit me this time!” - Using Specialty Skills, Variation 1 (Defensive)
“[Distorted Shrieking]” - Using Specialty Skills, Variation 2 (Offensive)
“I gotcha, I gotcha.” - Using Specialty Skills, Variation 3 (Support)
“[Hooting, Hollering]” - Dealing Killing Blow
“It was you or me, pal!” - Dealing Killing Blow
“[Beckoning Whistle] Nuh-uh, eyes on me.” - Using Provoke
“[Hawktmoth Chirp] As one!”- Assisting an Ally
Limit Break:
• “[Distorted] BACK OFF!” - Using Limit Break 1
• “[Distorted Howling]”- Using Limit Break 2
• “[Delighted] Hawkmoth! You know what time it is?! [Affirmative chirp].” - Using Limit Break 3
KO’d:
• “End...of the...line...buddy… [Distorted Hawkmoth Error Noises]” - Variation 1
• “Just…gonna, [whimper]... take...five...” - Variation 2
• “My... Hubris...” - Variation 3
• “Hahah… this sucks...” - Variation 4
Revived:
• “YEAAAAAAAAAH, CAN’T KEEP US DOWN!” [Determined Hawkmoth Chirp]- Variation 1
• “I think I love you.” [Negative Hawkmoth Chirp] - Variation 2
Dungeon Complete:
• “YEAHAHAH! WHOO!” - Variation 1
• “[A duet of Shou singing and Hawkmoth beeping the victory fanfare]” - Variation 2
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Template courtesy of @locke-rinannis. Inspiration from @gegenji.
Springtime in Ishgard. The cobbles are swept. Fresh banners are hung. Someone sprays Estinien with a hose
Uranami Onsen Social Hour 1.2 Host/ess Club 1.3
The Staff of Uranami Onsen wishes to humbly invite you to our upcoming events! Join us for our Thursday Night Social Hour; 7:30pm Pacific Time and our Host & Hostess Club 8:00pm Pacific Time! Please come by and enjoy our amenities such as our healing spas (both indoor and outdoor), sauna (dry & wet!), and our wellness room with various types of natural healing! We also can provide inn-rooms for your overnight stay. Thank you very much in advance and we hope that you enjoy your evening with us!
SOCIAL HOUR
Location: Mist; Ward 15 // Plot 5 Server: Mateus Social Hour: Includes Soak & Amenities, Meal & Drink. Date: Thursday Jan. 2nd Time: 7:30PM Pacific
The Staff of Uranami Onsen wish to invite you and your’s to our NEW Host & Hostess Club starting January 3rd! Please come by and enjoy our relaxed atmosphere and chat & mingle with our staff. Enjoy a hot soak & perhaps a nice bottle of Wineport Red with our lovely hosts & hostesses this winter season!
Host & Hostess Club
Location: Mist; Ward 15 // Plot 5 Server: Mateus Happy Hour: Half off all of our amenities! Staff Meet & Greet! Date: Friday Jan. 3rd Time: 8PM Pacific
~*~!!! Menus !!!~*~ https://www.uranami-onsen.com/menu *Please take some time to review our onsen etiquette, they can be found at the top of our page.
**Our cellarage is mixed bath only. Please wear appropriate swimsuits or yugi.
Crystal Datacenter Event Hubs:
This Thursday & Friday! Our new time on Friday is: 8pm Pacific! <3
We’ll be open tonight! <3 Host/ess Night is tomorrow!