What remains on this tumblr site is incomplete. NSFW material has been censored by Tumblr, and posts only reach July 2017. Visit the new LiarTownUSA.com for complete posts and new material, or to contact me.
ANNOUNCING THE 2021 SOCIAL JUSTICE KITTENS CALENDAR
FACT: Fascism can only be defeated with unclouded moral certainty, control of the press, a unified, militant front, and the iron will to use violence in pursuit of justice!
It’s 2021 and the Social Justice Kittens are back! Unburdened by the lessons of history, these rascal activists are equipped with new definitions for existing words, an ever-changing list of non-negotiable demands, and fresh, exciting ideas certain to transform the world!
After years of warning that every interaction is a terrifying, oppressive battle for literal survival, these fuzzy-wuzzy warriors know that changing course would only bring accusations of gullible social panic, cultish extremism, or self-serving fraud! Revolution can be painful, but a paradise of peace and equity awaits those courageous enough to ignore their doubts!
The Social Justice Puppies have also returned, but pay no attention! They’ve weaponized their fragility, recentering vital conversations around their own tired apologies. Steer clear of these floppy little failures, no matter how loudly they pray for oblivion!
As usual, every bit of kitten and puppy dialogue is sourced from genuine social media posts. Nothing has been taken out of context or misrepresented!
Featuring quotes from AOC, Greta Thunberg, Saira Rao, Amber Tamblyn, David Hogg, Jimmy Fallon, Verso Books, Munroe Bergdorf and many more!
To be clear: This is a real, glossy, full-color, 12” x 12” grid-style wall calendar, ready to order NOW and shipping immediately.
Jezebel.com said it best: “The absolute best cat calendar!”
Order here: https://buyolympia.com/Item/liartownusa-social-justice-kittens-2021
It’s 2020, and a dozen all-new Social Justice Kittens insist on sharing their own radical memories, experiences, identities, stories, and voices! Once again you can stand back supportively as these cuddly customers utilize pre-colonial and marginalized knowledges to expose new and increasingly terrifying forms of power and oppression!
Dare to announce how much you admire their bravery as these feline fighters battle dark forces including—but not limited to—white supremacy, colonialism, imperialism, capitalism, sexism, classism, homophobia, islamophobia, ableism, ageism, speciesism, transphobia, and xenophobia.
Or maybe shut the hell up and stay in your lane as they break through to new realms of radical healing and transformative resistance!
The Social Justice Puppies are back, too, and they’re more complicit than ever! They may claim to disgust themselves, but deep down many undoubtedly refuse to acknowledge the intersectional nature of their guilt. These pitiful patriarchal pups will never properly atone for their role in millennia of oppression! There are no cookies here for them—or you! There are only…kittens!
As usual, every bit of kitten and puppy dialogue is sourced from genuine social media posts. Nothing has been taken out of context or misrepresented—these are all faithful to the original courageous declarations which continue to delight and inspire.
To be clear: This is a real, glossy, full-color, 12” x 12” grid-style wall calendar, ready to order NOW and shipping immediately.
Jezebel.com said it best: “The absolute best cat calendar!”
Order here: https://buyolympia.com/Item/liartownusa-social-justice-kittens-2020
Goodbye and thank you.
As you probably know, starting December 17th, 2018, Tumblr will ban all porn and explicit imagery. Like so many other blogs, LiarTown will soon be flagged for its adult, offensive, and sexual content. Rather than neuter material to fit Tumblr's new standards, I'm leaving. I expect many posts will no longer be visible, and I've already noticed nonsexual material is being flagged. I don’t expect much will be left.
Whatever makes the cut will stay up, but I will no longer publish new LiarTown material on Tumblr. I have years' worth of images still to make, though, so I'll be actively searching for another platform or archive. Any suggestions are welcome. I chose tumblr because it let me post what I wanted without much fuss. I'm sure there are other outlets suitable for my minimal needs. One way or another, LiarTown will continue, and wherever I end up, I’ll post it all again. When I have updates on a new home, I'll give details here.
For anyone wishing to contact me, I'm at liartownusa at gmail.
As for Tumblr, I sincerely hope its embrace of prudishness ironically fucks it right into oblivion. In the haunting, immortal words I once saw spraypainted on a boarded-up McDonald's: Eat McShit and Die.
AN ANNOUNCEMENT
I planned on posting this in a couple of months, but I figure it’s best to say it now.
Tumblr's new policy is arriving at the end of a long break I've been taking. I first stepped away to finish the LiarTown book (published in fall of last year). After that exhausting project, I decided completing another, even bigger project would help me rest. This new project has taken every bit of free time I've had over the past year.
Some quick background: This is Crap Hound:
For those who don't know, Crap Hound is a zine I started in 1994. I don’t talk about it much here, because it’s got no connection to LiarTown. Crap Hound consists almost entirely of high-contrast, black and white commercial art and imagery, collected into themes. All past issues have been reprinted, thanks to the extreme loveliness of folks at BuyOlympia. Topics are Clowns, Devils, and Bait, Hands, Hearts, and Eyes, Death, Phones, and Scissors, Church and State, Superstition, and Sex and Kitchen Gadgets.
And THIS is the upcoming The Crap Hound Big Book of Unhappiness:
I didn't want to make an anthology, so this book will basically be an enormous, horizontal tenth issue devoted to images notable for their lack of positivity. There will be men, women, children, and even pets in states of confusion, pain, fear, stress, anger, embarrassment, sorrow, depression, and frustration. There’ll be headaches, upset stomachs, storms, earthquakes, fires, floods, vehicular collisions, weight issues, drugs, suicide, murder, execution & punishment, atomic bombs, unemployment, riots, injuries, falls, fistfights, tantrums, and the silent, nocturnal shame of bedwetting. I’m including accessories (syringes, knives, pills, crutches, splints, etc.), and imminent unhappiness (e.g. roller skates on stairs and overloaded electrical sockets). From the tearful sting of a scraped knee to the ominous shadow of impending planetary doom, you can expect a rich tapestry of trouble.
I've been collecting unhappy material for more than fifteen years. As of today, it stands at FIVE HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR pages. Only the intro and acknowledgements remain to be finished. A street date hasn't been officially announced, but it'll be published by Feral House prior to Fall 2019.
Here’s a small sampling of the pages:
So that's where I've been, working hard on getting it done, and it'll be arriving pretty soon.
IN CONCLUSION
That's it from me for the foreseeable future. To the various porn blogs, vintage collectors, and glorious weirdos I have followed here, I've loved you so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the porn and art and ideas. To the great people I've met here (and met elsewhere because of this blog): THANK YOU for your kindness and support over past few years. If there is anything I can do for you in return, please email me and let me know.
Finally, to the handful of joyless activists and insufferable internet scolds I've encountered: I offer a swift kick in the proverbial cunt. Once upon a time, moralizing busybodies and language police were defining features of the religious right. It'll be a long time before the damage from this latest moral panic peaks, let alone fades.
Thank you again, everyone. I'll post here (and on Twitter at @LiarTownUSA) when LiarTown has a new home.
Sincerely,
Sean Tejaratchi
December 6 , 2018
It’s 2019. All around us, ancient evils lurk in the deepening shadows, growing more powerful by the hour, feeding on hatred and centuries of oppression. The signs and symbols are everywhere for those willing to see.
Thanks to LiarTown, you can now take the most courageous step of all: remaining silent while others speak. Once again it’s time to amplify the voices of those fluffy little activists, the Social Justice Kittens! They’ve returned, rested and ready to call out and clap back!
But don’t think for a minute these woke, whiskered warriors have come alone! Get an eyeful of the all-new litter of Social Justice Puppies scrambling along behind them! These progressive pups have endured marathon struggle sessions and merciless “self-crit” to achieve dizzying levels of abject submission and self-debasement. They're determined to be on the right side of history, and positively squirming for a chance to recite their gut-wrenching confessions!
It's up to you. Will you celebrate the voices of the marginalized, or further stain your soul with murderous complicity? Every moment you delay causes further abuse and gentrification. Those far more woke than you roll their eyes at your absurd doubts and questions! Desperate times call for desperate measures! Answer that call NOW…with kittens!
Please note: As usual, every bit of kitten and puppy dialogue is sourced from genuine social media posts. Nothing has been taken out of context or misrepresented. Though grammatical tweaks were sometimes necessary, everything remains faithful to the courageous, original declarations which continue to delight and inspire so many online!
To be clear: This is a real, glossy, full-color, 12” x 12” grid-style wall calendar, ready to order NOW and shipping immediately. The last kitten calendar sold out before New Year's, so act quickly before others notice your disgusting hesitation.
Jezebel.com said it best: “The absolute best cat calendar!”
Are you absolutely DONE instructing people who should just shut up and listen? Are you tired of tolerating the intolerant? Are you sick of compromising with those who can't grasp nonbinary concepts? You’re in luck, because the Social Justice Kittens are back and better than ever!
LiarTown is proud to once again celebrate those courageous soldiers on the front lines of change: Online social justice activists! Although the last calendar's kittens were unwilling to fully unpack their own complicity in oppressive systems and were taken away one night to live with loving families down by the river, you can be sure THIS YEAR'S precious angels are smarter, cuter, and ohhhhh-so-much woker than ever before!
Each colorful, professionally photographed kitten has been captured in a heroic pose befitting a small cat defiantly speaking out on the hottest progressive issues of the day. A sassy, uncompromising declaration erases any doubts about each charmer's passionate convictions, sense of humor, and tough-as-nails attitude! They've come to punch Nazis and eat wet food, and they're all out of wet food!
Wait—there's more!
As a life-changing bonus, each month also features the ALL NEW Social Justice Puppies! They're still learning how to sit down, shut up, and stay in their lane, but don’t worry, these sad little pups know better than to expect a cookie. They're bursting with enthusiastic self-negation and eager to demonstrate their public, unconditional agreement. Best of all, every bit of kitten and puppy dialogue originates from genuine social media posts!
To be clear: This is a real, glossy, full-color, 12” x 12” grid-style wall calendar, ready to order NOW and shipping immediately. The last kitten calendar sold out before New Year's, so act quickly to make sure others will have no reason to doubt your unwavering support of these powerful messages.
Jezebel.com said it best: “The absolute best cat calendar!” While this comment technically referred to the 2015 calendar, anything short of equal enthusiasm this year would be a disturbing sign that Jezebel.com is staffed with privileged, performative faux-allies, uninterested in any sort of true social justice and in fact actively working to maintain the status quo.
Remember—Now that you're woke, it's time for the hard part: Making sure others know it!
Order here: https://buyolympia.com/Item/liartownusa-social-justice-kittens-2018
Good news! I have slaved over this promotional video and now offer it to you, free of charge, as a token of my affection. Watch with my blessing, but beware! Hidden amidst the fast pace and bold colors is a remarkable lack of real information! This hollow, baffling advertisement is my gift… to you!
Storefronts, St. Louis, Missouri, 2016–2017
Mangina! Italian Restaurant Shimply Crafts Sassy Teats Gentlemen’s Club Breathwing Yoga Belgian Twat
Cis The White Mule title, 1965
Forbidden Fitness with Musclemancer Kraig Diabolucci VHS cover
I'd like to officially announce the upcoming book LiarTown: The First Four Years.
First, a new, brief Q&A with illustrious designlord Steven Heller can be found here: http://www.printmag.com/daily-heller/liartown-lying-is-its-own-reward/
Next, as you may have noticed, things have been quiet here the past few months. The book is the reason. I've devoted all my time and effort to getting it ready, making it the best it can be. I'm in the final stretch right now, writing the Introduction and Acknowledgements.
SOME FACTS:
8.5″ x 11″ Soft cover 248 pages Full color
I can see you still have questions.
"What's in there?" The book contains almost all LiarTown material from early 2013 to January 2017. It includes an introduction by me, Sean Tejaratchi, a foreword by former Onion editor Scott Dikkers, a section with notes on selected pieces, and an exhaustive index. The back cover will feature brief explanatory text (written especially for the back cover and not previously read by the public), as well as a laudatory comments from cultural notables, a barcode, and cover price. Every inch of this lavishly designed book has been designed to perfection. Even the spine, normally known only as the narrow, bound left edge of a volume, will be emblazoned with the title, subtitle, author, and publisher logo.
Speaking of the publisher, beloved Feral House Books has honored my desire to keep all the bad words and bird dicks and lunchbox tits and other improprieties. I was not asked to change a single thing.
"You said 'almost all.' Is everything in there or not?" I left out some of the more topical, dated or political posts, and I didn't bother with few of the lightweight pieces or more direct movie parodies (like the Fifty Shades Darker Batman poster). I'd say 99% of the website is in the book, though.
"So how else have you fucked me on this deal?" Oh god, I knew you'd be like this. This is why I didn't even want to mention it. Because of what you're doing, right now.
"I'm sorry. I overreacted, as I always do. Do I get anything that's NOT on the website?" Yes! I made full use of space. For example, when a square image on a tall page left room at the bottom, I made new things to fit. There are new stamps, VHS spines (commercial and home-recorded), book spines, buttons, business cards, a shitload of CD covers, a tube of falcon ointment, a cassette, a card from a guy named Todd, and miscellaneous other bits and pieces. I've made additional books and albums in a few cases, things I'd wanted to make but had never got around to. Some new business signage, TV commercial screenshots, little bits here and there. There's a nice spread of collected product logos. Saying "IT'S PACKED WITH NEW STUFF!" would feel dishonest because the vast majority of the book is material you've seen, but the additions are a tender bonus that shows how much I care for you and your family. A few pieces have been given extra material, cosmetic enhancements, and general improvement when possible. You probably won't notice, but mentioning it here bolsters the narrative I'm pushing, namely: You're receiving EXTRA VALUE unavailable on the website!
"Will there be pages?" Oh, so many pages! Countless pages, 248 of them, one after another, in order, from start to finish. What's more, each page will be trimmed to the same exacting specifications as its neighbor. That means a page at the front of the book is going to match the size of a page at the back of the book. Don't believe it? Pre-order the book and then apologize to me when it arrives and teaches you a lesson in humility.
"What shape will the pages be?" Rectangular, taller than wide. What's more, every book, and every page within it, will conform to the same series of four perfect right angles. If a corner isn't precisely 90°, the book won't be sent to a customer. It's that simple. Please note some customers might receive books with angles that are not precisely 90° because glitches sometimes happen at the bindery and now and then you get a weird-shaped one. It can't be helped.
"I am accustomed to colors. Will this book have colors?" Every page will be full, glorious color. I think there's one page that's almost entirely black, but that's still technically a color, as you know.
"Will the colors be any good?" Close your eyes and imagine yourself stumbling out of a darkened forest onto a dazzling beach. You spy a rainbow, bathing nude in a lagoon of equal parts motor oil and distilled water. (If you want to imagine yourself naked, too, go ahead.) Swirling, hypnotic eddies of reflective iridescence trail in the rainbow's seductive wake, decorating the surface with over forty million billion trillion unique colors. You walk downstream, still naked if that's how you've decided to picture yourself, watching the colors flow into a single torrent, churning over discarded displays of semi-gloss paint samples until at last tumbling down mossy, shadowed chines, verdant and overgrown. The pigments plunge down, down, into a chocolate church, the hallowed walls of which hold towering windows of intricate stained glass, forged aeons ago by master craftsmen who swore blood oaths to faithfully capture the ruddy pinks, the sun-kissed tans, the rich, dusky hues of every member of the human race on earth or below the sea. The sky outside this otherworldly cathedral is lit by over thirty to forty different suns, one green, one red, one blue, and then plenty of other kinds (inc. brown). These ancient orbs, locked in a cosmic dance as old as time itself, send their rays to find you inside. Multi-hued beams burst effortlessly through the fragile glass to reach, at long last, the rods and cones at the backs of your eyes that have waited for this fleeting moment, so patiently, since your birth.
So yeah, I'd say the colors are gonna be pretty good.
"When will the book be shipped? When will I receive it?" The stupid thing has to be printed in China, of all places, so it'll be ready in late Fall, in time for the stupid holidays.
"Why should I order now? Why not later, when I'm well rested?" Pre-ordering early helps the publisher know ahead of time roughly how many to order in the first run. Since printing costs drop as the print run goes up, a larger print run eventually results in a lower book price.
There's also this inescapable truth: Pre-ordering means you are assured a copy. There's no worry about delays when a store or distributor is out of stock. Your book is mailed to you the day it's released. You stay safe and silent in your home, frozen in place like a terrified rabbit while the postman makes noise outside your door. Once his footsteps fade and you're sure he's gone, the book is all yours.
Right now it's listed at $22.10 on amazon.com. I've been told the price will likely drop. If you've pre-ordered at a previous, higher price, don't worry, you'll automatically get the lower price, too.
"Where can I pre-order this book?"
Two places so far: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/liartown-sean-tejaratchi/1125856395?ean=9781627310543
and
https://www.amazon.com/Liartown-First-Four-Years-2013-2017/dp/1627310541/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1492812361&sr=1-4
I'll show more of the book closer to the actual release date. In a world where there are trailers for movie trailers, I'm trying to avoid preview fatigue. If you have any questions, you can reach me via tumblr message or LiarTownUSA@gmail.com.
Thank you, and your family.
Sean T.
Åsa & Arne Det saknade ekollonet storybook, illustrated by Jack Pollock.
Åsa & Arne 0308, The Birthday Tree Special thanks to Jack Pollock!
Twilight Zone Introductions, 1959-1961
Columbo Episode 0406: “A Strange Shade of Murder”
Barbara Kruger’s Big Book of Barbecue (Rizzoli, 2002)
Sir Pelvis Johnwood titles by L.L. Fanshaw