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@marvelavengers8

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story time.

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.”  And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

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I’m gonna apply for a job at Gordon Ramsay new restaurant and I’m gonna get it

I submitted my application and resume

I GOT THE FUCKING INTERVIEW

My interview is in a few hours. I got this but wish me luck

I GOT THE FUCKING JOB
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922703
Image

reblog for good luck

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reblogged

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

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riskpig

………my friend has made me curious

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maryburgers

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

  1. I don’t believe in these things
  2. But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job
  3. But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.
  4. Roger is cute.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

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secondlina

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

I have no luck right now. Halp.

Why does this have so many notes

because its not one of your posts.

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ana-logical

Roger is precious to me.

Roger help me

It’d be nice… plus Rogers real cute

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Head-to-Toe Self Care

Hair

Scalp

Eyebrows

Skin

Nose

Lips

Makeup

Ears

Taste

Nails & Hands

Back

Stomach

Legs

Feet & Toenails

Misc

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micdotcom

when you break a world record, but a man comes in second (x)

And it’s worth note that Ledecky didn’t just win the 800 freestyle- she obliterated it:

Thats her. And those specks in the distance are her competitors. The second place swimmer was 11 SECONDS behind her. 11 seconds is FOREVER in something like this. Most second place swimmers in most races finish fractions of a second behind the first place swimmer.

Her finishing with none of her competitors in sight. And that yellow line is the previous world record’s pace. Ledecky is more than a full body length ahead.

Which, btw, she did in the 400m freestyle earlier in the games. Seen here:

(The previous world record in this race was held by her, to begin with, btw. As well as the 3 world record times preceding that one.)

So to sum it up: Yeah, Phelps is one of the most decorated Olympic swimmers ever etc etc but him getting silver means jack in the face of the actual-human-avatar-of-Poseidon that is Katie Ledecky. 

Source: mic.com
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reblogged

Captain America: Civil War - Press Tour

Interviews

Entertainment Tonight - Civil War behind the scenes (Team Cap) Extra TV - Top Secret Set Visit  Uncensored Interviews (Evans, Stan, Mackie, Russos, Boseman, Bettany) ABC Good Morning America - behind the scenes Chris Evans - Made in Hollywood TV interview Team Iron Man - FULL Press Conference Team Cap - FULL Press Conference Entertainment Tonight - Chris Evans:‘I really messed up my arm.’ Extra TV - Chris Evans: receiving more butt selfies? “In Good Company” - Johansson, VanCamp, Olsen Team Cap - Jimmy Kimmel Live [x] [x] [x] [x] Team Iron Man - Jimmy Kimmel Live [x] [x] [x] [x] Entertainment Tonight - Anthony Mackie interviews Sebastian Stan Sebastian Stan - Cinema Magazine interview Sebastian Stan - Flicks and the City interview  Chris Evans - Captain America Flicks Plus interview Sebastian Stan - Winter Soldier Flicks Plus interview Robert Downey JR - Iron Man Flicks Plus interview Chadwick Boseman - Black Panther Flicks Plus interview Paul Rudd - Ant-Man Flicks Plus interview Emily VanCamp- Sharon Carter Flicks Plus interview Anthony Mackie - Falcon Flicks Plus interview Paul Bettany - Vision Flicks Plus interview Scarlett Johansson - Black Widow Flicks Plus interview Elizabeth Olsen - Scarlet Witch Flicks Plus interview Daniel Brühl - Baron Zemo Flicks Plus interview Chris Evans’ invitation to Team Cap showdown in Singapore Sebastian Stan’s invitation to Team Cap showdown in Indonesia  Chris Evans & Anthony Mackie - MTV Movie Awards Sebastian Stan & Anthony Mackie - ScreenRant interview E! Live Red Carpet - Civil War cast geeks out about Spider-Man Chris Evans & Sebastian Stan - Special message from Team Cap The Insider interview - Evans, Rudd, Cheadle, Mackie

Clips

Premieres 

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reblogged
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koubashii

Quick recap of all the upcoming promo/press events for Captain America: Civil War

  • 8th Press screening (x)
  • 9th-12th Press junket in LA (x)
  • 10th Chris Evans will be at the MTV Movie Awards to present an exclusive clip from CACW (x
  • 11th Jimmy Kimmel interviews Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, and Paul Rudd (x
  • 12th World premiere in LA at the Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre (x)
  • 13th Special screening for CinemaCon at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas (x
  • 13th Jimmy Kimmel interviews Robert Downey, Jr., Don Cheadle, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, and Emily Van Camp (x)  
  • 18th Paris premiere at the Grand Rex Theater (x)
  • 19th Beijing premiere with Joe Russo, Chris Evans,Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie (x)
  • 21st Berlin premiere at the Sony Center in Potsdamer Platz with Robert Downey Jr, Don Cheadle, Chadwick Boseman, Daniel Brühl and Emily VanCamp (x)
  • 21st Singapore premiere at Marina Bay Sands with Joe Russo, Chris Evans,Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie (x)
  • 26th European premiere at the Vue Cinemas in Westfield London (x)

Feel free to add more info if you have any and to correct me if I got anything wrong!

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ulquicrra

Because this video was constantly taken down, and/or was geographically restricted, I am uploading it here.

WARNING: It contains Sebastian Stan speaking Romanian.

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