Nerding Out

Have you REALLY lost your scissors if you aren't walking around making scissor motions with your fingers in an attempt to lure them back out?

spellcasting with somatic compenents

this is a beautiful addition

you say it's my villain era and what you mean is that when you were six you panicked about wearing the right thing to kindergarten, what you mean is that in middle school nobody was eating, what you mean is that you spent high school prepping for college and college prepping for adulthood and adulthood fucking lost in the system.

what you mean is that you've been good. you were a good team player. you would have never considered yourself perfectionist - those are people more popular, prettier, more successful - but you carry any flaw like a secret in you, terrified someone will desert you for the simple reality of your personhood.

if you were good you could be loved. you could be loved if you were selfless and thoughtful and caring. if you bent over for every person, if you went above-and-beyond, it would absolve you of who you actually were. deep down, how horrible that you had needs. that you had boundaries, that you had desires. you learned young that you cannot afford to cut people out of your life - you would have nothing left. it is better to live in the service of others, to supplicate. to worship. you weren't exceptional, you had to make up for it in some way. to prove to others you were worthy.

if they need you, it's the same thing as loving you. if you are always-there, always-listening, always-friendly, you are filling a role. you have a purpose. you are living correctly.

villain era, you repeat. you mean: yesterday you finally told a man no. for hours afterwards, you couldn't control your heartbeat. you mean: you've been saying positive affirmations on repeat, trying to teach yourself any new thing about how self care is necessary. you mean: three weeks ago, due to a scheduling conflict, you finally told a coworker that no, you couldn't do them a "quick favor". you have felt bad about that ever since. sure, it would have made you work late and it would have been extra stress - but you feel bad about it nevertheless.

you tell your therapist you have been leaning into evil. she asks what that means. when you tell her: sometimes i prioritize my own needs, she doesn't find it funny. she looks at you a long time.

"and that's evil?" she clarifies.

"well," you say. "feels evil to me."

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

Keurig coffee maker FTW

not enough people talking about this

Cats understand "naughty". In fact I think they're the only animal who understands it. Dogs know "good" and "bad" but not Naughty. Same with theft. Cats know what theft is. They know when they are thieving and you can see it on their faces. Squirrels are thieves but they don't know that. They know "take" and "have" but they don't comprehend what it is to steal. Nor do raccoons or coyotes or any species of rodent. They may participate in theft but they are ignorant of the weight of what they do, the full meaning of it. Cats know what crime is and they do it on purpose.

#some dogs know Mischief #which is the same as 'Naughty' but lacking in Malice #cats have an abundance of Malice #which they must have a healthy outlet for #don't get me wrong cats love you! #but the Malice builds up in their systems and they have to get it out #the only way to do this is Crimes

Not so little anymore.....

So yeah I have a story for Orgill, I always have a story for characters I'm developing. I'm working on various ones and hopefully I get to work on them sooner.

omg so we have 1 seeing dog and 1 blind dog and whenever there's a toy they both want, the seeing dog takes it and just...stands very still. immobile. she KNOWS he will try to wrestle it from her but she has figured out that if she does not squeak it, then he will not find it. leading to this.

"god....grant me the strength to not squeak the squeaky toy"

Guys… you’re not gonna fucking believe this one

“Oh, he did not just…”

Yes, he did. 

Get the fuck outta here

This man is the modern day equivalent of the clockwork masters who made strange, intricate wind-up toys for extremely wealthy people.  Exceptionally talented, astonishingly inventive, brilliantly skilled, and the pinnacle of craftsmanship that serves to astonish and delight.

CHOCOLATE FUCKER’S BACK ON HIS BULLSHIT

Waiting for the chocolate man to make a life-sized, fully functionong automobile out of chocolate and confectionary

aminals

Thinking about a duct tape wizard

there are two key questions to gauge what sort of Weird Girl someone was as a preteen.

a) horses, dolphins or dragons?

b) Vikings, Ancient Egyptians or dinosaurs?

tell me in the tags please. if you were allowed to pick your own room decor between 7 and 13 the answer to A should be self evident bc every Weird Girl I knew who was allowed to pick had one of those three themes.

Based on your answers I am adjusting the Weird Girl Classification System

a) horses, dolphins, or wolves

b) dragons, pirates, or dinosaurs

c) Norse, Ancient Greek, or Ancient Egyptian

to correctly answer this quiz you should be choosing ONE from EACH section. yes we all liked horses AND dolphins AND wolves but you were either a horse girl, a dolphin girl or a wolf girl. look deep in your heart and you will find your answer. or look at the walls of your childhood bedroom.

(also you don’t have to be a girl NOW, or ever have been a girl, to be a Weird Girl)

horses, dragons, ancient Egypt, BUT you are forgetting one of the cornerstones of weird 90s preteen girl bedroom decor:

Whenever I see an ad with people living in a house I automatically excuse myself from the experience. These people have house money. You expect me to afford the same product as people with house money? Laughable. Return at once, and tell the algorithm that sent you to try better.

Ads really should be treated like emisarries from rival lords.

I see here you've come to tell of an electronic service which, for a monthly fee, will read aloud to me literature from across the globe. And you say it shall provide me the fist tome free as a token of goodwill. A generous offer, or so it would appear, save for the fact that such a service is readily available to me publicly online and at my local library. Ah, you were hoping perhaps I was not aware of such resources? Begone, you slinking devil! Such trickery will not be tolerated in the house of James.

Gitanna - Archer Character Art by Katya Gudkina

kitty paws

no thoughts head empty

actually gonna cry my eyes out look at this content little baby

When working with an octopus…

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist.