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Chemical Magecraft

@chemicalmagecraft / chemicalmagecraft.tumblr.com

I have a FanFiction account (fanfic page here and a second account just for stuff related to my fanfics here for mobile users). Fanart is always appreciated. I also reblog things that I like and occasionally post headcanon that I think of.
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Spellcasters hate this fact but if you just stick your fingers in their mouth while they're casting a spell with a verbal component it's literally more effective than a counter spell.

This also works with pinning their hands against the wall when they're trying to use somnatic components.

Basically if you make out sloppy style while pressed against a wall the spellcasters can't do anything

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jean-jackit

wrong ♡

chain lightning

You're really gonna try chain lightning with a tongue in your mouth? You think that won't end horribly? You think you have more HP than me?

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I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.

Some of my favourites include:

Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)

Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?

Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?

Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!

Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?

The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.

So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:

Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"

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What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?

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beleester
  • Partial transformation - mummy rot is slowly turning you to sand, a near miss from a medusa left you with partially stoned body parts, etc.
  • Hypnotic suggestions from being mind controlled persist after the controller’s death, causing the victim to occasionally take actions to support the cause of a mind flayer cult that no longer exists.
  • Repeated demonic possession has left the patient with permanent gaps in their soul’s defenses, causing them to immediately get re-possessed if they go outside a consecrated area.
  • Post-resurrection trauma as the revived soul remembers an unpleasant afterlife.
  • Magical healing can get very weird if something is stuck in the wound. It’ll get you back on your feet, but you can get outcomes like “there’s a chunk of wood fused into your chest because the magic couldn’t figure out how to get the arrow out of your chest and just healed it in place,” and this can cause mobility issues or infection vectors down the line.

mana drain=chronic fatigue

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frownyalfred

Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).

it only takes being sucker punched in the face once by a high-on-fear-gas sibling to start stocking the sedatives and looking at everyone around you with 'what do i have to do to take you down as quickly and painlessly as possible' glasses

this is not actually out of concern, it's because if you get punched by a sibling while they are high on the flavour of the week YOU get in trouble for punching them back (you were in your right mind! breaking his nose was uncalled for! -Batman) and all of the batkids are bitter about it

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trekkiemage

I was about to reblog this, and then I saw the picture and I got the joke, in that order.

like this is just what a normal D&D session is like

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luxlightly

If I hadn’t seen this caption I literally would never have gotten the joke. This is just a perfect representation of a normal D&D session. 

With 7 players? This is going incredibly well.

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ackee

everyone should be weirder about their ocs more.

fake movie posters and comic book covers. visual novels. rpg maker games. fics. websites dedicated to your ocs. custom oc merch to wear or decorate your house with. surreal art that some old guy from the 1600s woulda painted. i want to see it ALL

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marvel characters who are false advertising

  • ant-man: he can be ANY SIZE not just ant-sized
  • cyclops: this fucker has TWO eyes not just one
  • winter soldier: he is there all year round
  • wolverine: doesn’t wear a wolverine fursuit. you’d think he was a furry but no he isn’t
  • Iron Man: suit made out of a gold-titanium alloy
  • Spider Man: only four limbs, doesn’t shoot web out his butt
  • mr. fantastic: he is awful
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kawree
  • Black Widow: also only four limbs, also doesn’t shoot web out her butt, white
  • The Incredible Hulk: has 7 Ph.Ds when not angry and therefore is in fact actually quite credible

“actually quite credible“

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Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite

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murolo-moved

the secret boots are the best item in any castlevania game like come on

if you can’t kill your dad in 6 inch heels what’s the point

dracula: well met, my son. it has been a long time

alucard: not long enough. i can’t allow you to leave here

dracula: do you still side with humani—

alucard:

dracula: are you wearing the...

alucard: the secret boots? yeah. i am.

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aliiiiiiice

There is exactly one spot in the castle (well two, because reverse castle) where if you stand there and equip the secret boots, Alucard will say "WHAT???" and get stuck because he's now too tall to move through it.

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