that mcelroy final pam clip is gonna get my ass in trouble one day because ANY time a baby/young child starts crying or fussing at work, i think of 2 things.
"baby needs snack" (which is very fun to say while advancing on them with cracker packs, doing the voice almost always gets a laugh) and
"i take a hammer and fix the baby" which i absolutely cannot say out loud in public ever or i go to fucking jail
Honestly I don't have much hope that Lower Decks will get uncancelled but they need to at least get a movie. I'd really like to see what they do with the movie format.
Crisis Point 4: the Real, Actual Movie
Cats don't plan shit. Cats don't think about the consequences to their actions. Cats are governed by the vibes of the moment.
Sometimes that vibe is "need food" and sometimes that vibe is "man I really wish I could experience some repetitive tactile sensation on my little furry head."
And sometimes that vibe is "I feel the sudden and inexplicable urge to commit a murder" and the next moving thing they see will be on the receiving end of that vibe.
good sensations can sometimes be extreme, and i know i personally enjoy a good few of those, so i wanted to know which of these types of pain are the most commonly enjoyed :)
basically my question is. am i such a touch deprived weirdo that i'll enjoy fucked up sensations no one else likes or am i normal
When you’ve been cooking for long enough, you stop making recipes and start making “shit in a skillet” and “whatever soup”
It looks funny, right? You think it looks funny.
I do too. But it lives its whole life. So you have to take it seriously eventually, right? And be respectful and shit.
I think it can digging in the ground for tubers.
This post lives in my head. I deeply love “I think it can digging in the ground for tubers”
But I can’t stress enough that echidnas cannot be doing that. They are insectivores. Their mouth is not at all capable of biting a potato.
Well…
Maybe it just keeps them. I don’t know.
that mcelroy final pam clip is gonna get my ass in trouble one day because ANY time a baby/young child starts crying or fussing at work, i think of 2 things.
"baby needs snack" (which is very fun to say while advancing on them with cracker packs, doing the voice almost always gets a laugh) and
"i take a hammer and fix the baby" which i absolutely cannot say out loud in public ever or i go to fucking jail
while kissing my cat's little head: you're a problem *smooch* you're a terror *smooch* you're a menace to society *smooch smooch smooch*
More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here
It's been a hot second since the last time I cried tears of true rage but damn if I didn't come close today
My coworkers were like wow how are you still in a good mood after that my brother in christ after that interaction I went to the break room and took an extra adderall
Thank god they brought back An Amount Of Daylight That Makes You Want To Live. It was getting a bit scary for a minute there.
the regular people of hyrule seeing the castle spontaneously burst into dark evil flames and rise up out of the ground:
I don't know what paddington is doing on that list, but it made me think of the time someone drew a picture of the queen with paddington after she died, and we had scores of people losing their minds at the idea that paddington bear wasn't the same kind of communist as them
I love the sorrow in which you wrote this
The tragedy of growing up british & left wing is realising all your beloved childhood animals in waistcoats were monarchists to the core
I feel like in many ways "How'd he manage to grow up a middle-aged middle-class British man in Peru, anyways?" is the wrong question but it's still the one I am hung up on, years later.
Hold on let’s do this properly:
Paddington - regrettably a monarchist but in that specific immigrant way. The only actual immigrant on the list. May possibly just be a monarchist as part of the processing stage and is also canonically a child.
Winnie the Pooh - is canonically a stuffed animal, I genuinely don’t think he has this level of thought/agency and is not written as such. The real living breathing animals (owl, rabbit) are not just monarchists, but actively and cruelly bourgeois.
The Velveteen Rabbit - doesn’t wear a waistcoat but not a monarchist either.
Angelina Ballerina - a monarchist and a bit of a little bitch tbqh
The Brambly Hedge mice - really unclear. But like worryingly unclear. Clearly some kind of caste system in operation (lords and ladies) but not capitalist or explicitly feudalist either, it seems a thin overlay over their real political intentions: incredibly intense cheesemaking forming the backbone of a post-scarcity economy.
Beatrix Potter / Peter Rabbit - monarchists.
Richard Scarry - actually I can’t make a call on this one
Animals of Farthing Wood - I … don’t know.
Wind in the Willows - Toad’s a fucking Tory, but I feel like the Water Rat is kind of a comrade
Watership Down - unfortunately many of these rabbits are fashy, even the ones you like. Ursula le Guin said it, not me. They wouldn’t walk away from omelas. However, they touch a lot of grass - enough grass to not be interested in the house of Windsor - which is a point in their favour.
Redwall - monarchists, though not for the British monarchy. and also, somehow, Mouse Anglican verging on Mouse Catholic. Worrying, fascinating.
Oakapple Wood - monarchists
Hobbit - not a woodland creature but wears a waistcoat and is sympathetic to Thorin, Aragorn. Provisionally extremely monarchist and the very earliest interpretations of hobbits appeared to think they are somehow bipedal rabbits, which pissed Tolkien off.
Rupert Bear - British bear in clothes attributed partially for the decline in the usage of the name Rupert - but I don’t know a thing about him
The Highway Rat - all Julia Donaldson creatures lick the boot that crushes them, even the highway rat. Possibly not the Gruffalo. The Gruffalo however is the most naked that anyone has ever been, thus not an animal that would wear clothes.
The Narnia creatures - don’t all wear clothes, but THE definitive monarchists
Fantastic Mr Fox - not a monarchist. and in the wes Anderson film is not even British although the farmers and setting are (brilliant artistic choices, especially including an excellent but fucking random possum that calls the entire ecosystem into question: ultimately these are North American animals subverting and undermining the British landowners in a strange political statement whose intentions and direction are unclear.) Not monarchists, but what?
I also asked my own small British child to name more notable creatures in waistcoats, and after suggesting the obvious (brambly hedge, Angelina) they said, devastatingly, “viruses,” and when I delicately questioned what they meant by this, pointed out that viruses have a protein coat. Thus:
Viruses - possibly monarchists, wear coats, and present in children’s literature as exemplified by the Usborne “See Inside Germs.” Ultimately more data is needed.
Thoughts on Toad and Frog?
They’re American
dichotomy of “nothing in the digital age is permanent, we are losing physicality and thus part of ourselves” vs. “everything in the digital age is permanent, everything you do is recorded and stored for later use against you or to exploit you”
The landlord fears the urban oyster mushroom farmer
I have seen this on every social media site and folks- if your home is damp enough to get full fruity flushes of oyster mushrooms (from stray spores from a grow bag batch), they are the LEAST of your worries. You know what doesn’t produce highly visible fruiting bodies? Most molds. And wood rot. Go ahead and grow them indoors, because they’re a canary in the coal mine if they start fruiting anywhere.
^ the above reblog right here!!! People in the notes saying "don't do this!!!" Are missing the part where people are not deliberately growing Oyster Mushrooms all over their apartment, but that the stray spores from Mushroom Growing Kits are revealing systemic dampness problems that Landlords cannot dismiss and forces them to take action.
