I updated my kofi, and also added some commission options, so check them out if you like the things I draw and want to make my day!
genuinely do not get why stretch marks would be seen as ugly. youre telling me humans can have natural stripes like tigers and you want to get rid of them? baffling
gammija reblogged
Hi I'm Lauren I'm new to this app, I'm just trying to make some friends. Can i be your friend?
so as a semi-popular blog i tend to get a lot of scam asks, but this is actually a type of scam i've never encountered on tumblr before, so i'm going to make kind of an in-depth post/psa instead of just the usual short "this is a scam" response i usually give.
usually, tumblr scammers tend to follow a few easy signs:
- blog less than a week old because they use them for like a week before discarding/being banned and then remaking
- fundraiser post for cause that's meant to tug at the heartstrings (cute pet that needs medical treatment, capitalizing on current crises like the genocide in gaza, single mother trying to provide for kids, queer teen who got kicked out, etc)
- pictures are stolen off facebook or gofundme, oftentimes from an actual, legitimate fundraiser (this is so scummy)
- paypal country code does not match with the country they state they're in
- spams asks to random blogs telling their backstory and asking for donations or reblogs of their donation post, often with a request to answer privately (so the spamming doesn't show up if you search their url)
those are donation scams, and i get them in my inbox about once every week or two. they're the most common type of scam on tumblr.
THIS asker didn't mention any kind of money, or donations, or backstory. just "can i be your friend". they have no fundraiser post or in fact any original posts at all, and their blog is almost a year old with consistent activity. seems kind of normal at first glance, if a little awkward, but this is actually the beginning to what's referred to as a "pig butchering scam".
pig butchering scams can be either romance-based or friendship-based. they involve an innocuous-seeming interaction developing into a relationship, and once the scammer thinks they have your trust, they start asking for money, using that built trust as the basis. you would lend a friend some money in an emergency if they promise to pay it back quickly if you could, right?
pig butchers are definitely harder to spot than donation scammers, but there are some clear signs if you look closely enough.
the out-of-nowhere nature of the ask was what got me initially suspicious, so i searched her url. this is what that search looks like.
clearly not a user trying to actually make friends, and instead a spammer. a couple people there have already pointed out this is a pig butchering scam.
a few weeks ago, she was even bolder and doing a more donation-scam approach:
(hint: she is not going to give it back to you)
@kyra45 even posted about this as far back as september, and apparently the scammer was a blank blog back then:
if a tumblr search yields little results, you can also google someone's url. a google search led to this post with a user who got into the actual pig butchering part of the scam, developing a relationship before trying for money.
another, far less obvious tell is that she's following loads of bots, mixed in with normal users she's following. while i'm unsure if this user is a bot herself (i'm leaning toward a mixed use of a bot to send asks and personal replies once she gets a bite), normal users don't just... follow random bot/SEO accounts.
she also has a second, identical account at @pleasantdesttinykkryptonite, the same url with an extra k. possibly a backup in case she gets banned.
john oliver actually did a whole episode on pig butchering scams (already posted by someone in the url search) if you'd like to learn more.
gammija reblogged
The things I devoured so I could devour you
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i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least
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The Devil's Chord
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The Doctor!
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I have so much Good Omens fanart that needs to be finished that I panicked... Drew the Doctor instead.
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Activation Energy and Executive Dysfunction
A bunch of people (with executive dysfunction I assume) reacted a little disheartened to how I described the phenomenon.
The gist is that I used activation energy, a concept from chemistry, as a model for how executive dysfunction can keep you from doing things. Activation energy is the minimal energy that has to be available for any chemical reaction to occur and that amount is specific to every reaction.
Executive Dysfunction to me means, that this activation energy is always high, even for tasks other people experience as spontaneous reaction (yes the amount of ae and spontaneity of a reaction are not connected necessarily but bear with me here). A good example is showering or feeding yourself or sometimes getting up from the couch.
The tricky thing here is that the energy put into trying to reach activation energy is still *expended*, so while it might seem like nothing happens, you still get drained, making it harder to reach activation energy levels.
So what can we do?
In synthesis, if your activation energy is too high you basically can do two things: you either add a catalyst, or you find a different way to get to your result altogether.
The latter can be choosing a simpler recipe to feed yourself, graze on random items without making a meal until you are full or ordering food for example.
This is not always possible, but it *is* worth thinking about. An example from my life would be that I open my mail outside at the trash bins and immediately discard what I don't need because otherwise, I have paperstuff flying around my appartment that I don't get rid of.
"Weird" is not something that should factor in here. Make it functional and helpful.
The catalyst is my favourite solution however, and I can give you some tips here that you can *immediately* use. I won't know if they work for you, but they do for me (sometimes! be kind to yourself).
CATALYSTS AGAINST EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION
- Have your tasks broken down: when you have energy, make sure that the thing on your to do list is something you can *actually* physically immediately do. Don't write "make reservation", but "call restaurant" along with the number. Not "clean kitchen" but "move dishes to sink" etc
- Doorway Effect: The Doorway effect describes that silly thing that, when we cross a boundary, we sometimes feel like we've been soft reset ("what was I going to do?"). A hypothesis for why this happens can be that it helps our brain create separate contexts which then aids memory creation. What it can do for you is that it is an easy way to change context, which then frees you up to start something new more easily. Try it! Physically go through a doorway or open a different window on the computer, sometimes that is enough.
- Costuming: Similar to the Doorway Effect, we are changing context in a low effort way here. Concentrate on putting on your shoes instead of taking out the trash or put on some rubber gloves if you plan on cleaning. Might be enough. Sometimes putting on mascara is enough for me to go "oh I am out of couch potato mode now"
- Move! Put yourself where you need to be to tackle your task. That can already help.
- Pressure: This can be done by setting a timer that will go off soon. Challenge yourself to get up and go before it rings - might stress you into inaction sometimes, but it can be helpful. I love visual timers for this as it helps with my time blindness
- Prepare! If you are in a state of flow and have energy to spare *use it*. This includes breaking down your task as already described but also preparing your space - this can be a cleaned up desk or a caddy with cleaning supplies in a prominent spot.
And my absolute favorite: Throw a dice. When it is really bad, one thing I can always do is throw a dice (via an app, typing "d20" into the search bar or physically having one on me - which I usually do now). I tell myself that if I "make the roll" I get up and do it and if I don't, I try again in 20 minutes. This changes context easily, removes responsibility from me and makes the whole thing playful. I usually go with a d20 and tell myself to get going with a result over 10. If I have a particularly bad day I might need 15+ to do something. Just try it.
In short, what we are trying to do is
- minimize friction by frontloading as much thinking and preparing as we can
- make a context change as easy and small as possible
And remember: the goal is never to Always Be Doing Something.
Oh and as a side note - a tip I see often is to Give Yourself A Treat for finished tasks. I excluded this on purpose because for me that has *never worked*. I will just get the treat, which might very well not be an ADHD thing but a me thing. Plus, it adds another step of thinking and execution and we are trying to avoid that.
gammija reblogged
a nuance that gets a bit lost in martin 'murder' blackwood is that while he's definitely not against a good killing, it's more of a fun couple's activity rather than true heartfelt passion, you know?
i mean, twice he's had the opportunity to have Jonah get shanked, and he foils them, even though he wants the guy dead. Like, murder is always an option, but he usually tries other, less direct methods first - in fact id say that his trying to be clever and moral still leading up to the end of the world is exactly what drives him to say, ok well fuck it then, let's get our murder on
gammija reblogged
we all talk about doing it scared doing it alone doing it weird etc. but the the hideously awful truth is that you also often have to do it stupid
doing it stupid is the only way to get less stupid. you'd think this would be obvious by now, but you see the thing is. i'm stupid.
gammija reblogged
"I will simply say that – when a spider reaches a certain size, it is often not entirely made up of spider anymore."
This line has been haunting me for years. I have no idea what it means.
Me neither. It's good, tho, right?
gammija reblogged
SIGNAL BOOSTING FOR MY FACTORISATION TRUTHERS! WE WILL BEAT THESE ASSHOLES WHO WERE ALLOWED CALCULATORS IN THEIR EIGHT GRADE MATH FINAL!