⠀⠀⠀ “PROLOGUE”

selene set her phone down on the bathroom sink, rubbing her face (hands washed ofc). this is really happening, huh? she thought. walking out of the bathroom, she cleared her throat which was previously worn out from crying. selene, with her test in hand, sat on the couch, waiting and waiting and waiting for haru to come home from work. the time was 8:28PM and she had nearly fallen asleep until she heard the quiet unlocking of the front door. selene sat up and saw her boyfriend walk in, paper grocery bags in hand. “little help here?” he chuckled, seeing her focused gaze.

he snapped in front of her face to get her attention and she shuddered, nodding harshly. “yeah, of course.”

he rolled his eyes at her in a teasing way. she was always a little dazed. he found it cute.

he then looked down at the coffee table, seeing a little rectangle box wrapped in pink wrapping paper. “what’s this?” he reached to pick it up but she got to it faster. haru looked up at his beloved girlfriend and frowned. “hey? what is it?”

“it’s nothing!” selene pressed her lips together. “okay fine it’s a pregnancy test.” haru’s eyes widened to the size of an american quarter and he smiled softly.

“are you pregnant?” she nodded and he set down the groceries, pulling her into a hug, stroking her long black hair.

“what are we going to do, haru? aren’t we too young to start a family?” she sobbed into his shoulder and he patted her back.

“well, we can talk about that after i make dinner. is that good with you?” selene sniffled and mumbled a quiet ‘yes’. haru grinned and ruffled her hair. selene sat down at their small dinner table. soon they would have to add another chair. “okay. how about..i make your favorite dish?” he made jazz hands, waiting for her reaction—at least a smile.

selene looked up at him and tears filled her eyes again. the smaller man rushed over to her, pulling her into his embrace. “no no no, don’t cry. you’re okay, baby.”

haru helped her stand up, leading her over to the couch. “i’m scared, haru.” she curled up into a ball, feeling comfort in the way his arms were wrapped around her. he was her home.

“i know, i know.” he caressed her hair, kissing the crown of her head. the young couple sat still for a while, holding each other. selene stopped crying but only because haru started.

“no, you can’t start crying too! that’s my thing!” she huffed, wiping his tears.

the boy suddenly started laughing, which shocked selene. “and laughing is my thing.” she giggled and kissed the tip of his nose.

selene pressed down on her thighs and finally stood up. reaching for his hand, she sighed. “okay, let’s do this.”

haru took the girl’s hand and stood up with her. “what? make dinner?” she punched his shoulder and he feigned hurt.

“you know what i meant.” the girl rolled her eyes and yanked him towards the kitchen where they spent the next 45 minutes fixing a meal.

six months later

“i don’t know, tora. he’s just been pretty distant lately.” selene rested her hand on her stomach, where her bump had grown even larger.

“do you think he could be planning something? that’s why he’s been extra busy?”

“i guess? there isn’t much that kindergartners do so i don’t think he’s too busy with work.” her best friend snorted, finding her retort kinda hilarious.

“oh, well i have to go, selene. kou just texted me, asking where his phone was. ttyl!”

“yeah, thanks! bye.” she hung up, sighing heavily. selene looked down at her bump. “you’re a real pain, y’know.” she poked at it like it was some kind of jelly.

the front door of their apartment opened harshly, and selene flinched. their apartment doors were always so loud. we should probably get that fixed, she reminded herself. there stood her boyfriend, arms full of bags of candy. halloween was always his favorite holiday. selene smiled at the dorky boy who was still struggling to reach the marble island.

“i’ll get it.” she spoke, arms stretched out to reach for a bag. haru turned away from her, trying to keep her from doing any heavy lifting. “hey! let me help you!” haru thought she looked like an angry penguin when she stomped towards him.

“no! the doctor said you can’t do any heavy lifting until after you give birth!” he had set the bags on the island and selene looked at him like he was prey. her hands gripped onto the counter; she was ready to lunge at him. haru’s face as she chased him was priceless. it was a weird mixture of worry, fear, and joy. “oh shit!” he exclaimed, losing his balance as he tripped over one of the shoes she threw at him.

“i don’t care what the doctor said. i’m helping. besides, from the looks of it, the candy can’t be THAT heavy.” she tried reasoning, but when she lifted the variety bag, it tore open and spilled all over the kitchen floor. “well i guess it can, huh?”

haru, with a hand on his hip, gave selene an ‘i told you so’ look.

“you look a lot like your mother right now.” selene pointed out, painfully bending over to pick up a hershey bar that fell seconds ago.

“now that’s just sad. and wrong. she’s all old and wrinkly now.”

selene’s face went 😟 as she saw the small figure behind her boyfriend. with a mouth full of chocolate, she spoke, “babe you should shut up right about now.”

“no! i still have more to say.” selene glared him down, nearly making the poor man pee his pants. like his mother once said, if you value your life, never make a pregnant woman mad.

“who’s old and wrinkly, haruto?” his face suddenly lost all color as he heard the familiar, sickly, sweet voice from behind him. “and do tell me what else you had to say. we’ll be around for dinner so you have time.”

“oh it’s nothing.” the boy rubbed the back of his nape, a scare smile painting his face.

“right, mhm.” haru’s parents practically adopted selene after they started dating since hers were absent for most of her life. for people who are supposed to be parents, they sure stopped caring about selene after the wife finally got pregnant. “selene, darling, how are you? is the baby healthy? how many months along are you?” the aforementioned girl blinked harshly, trying to process what she asked.

“um, i’m good, so is the baby. and as of three weeks ago, i’m six months.” haru’s mom walked up to her, tucking her hair being her ears.

“poor girl. you must be in so much pain. plus, my little dweeb of a son must be making it worse.”

“oh, so much.” selene exaggerated, watching as haru frowned. he knew she was joking, but it still hurt him. he could be doing so much more for his girlfriend, but no. he’s been spending so much time trying to plan the perfect day to propose to her that he didn’t take the time to understand how she must’ve been feeling. horrible and lonely, he would’ve guessed.

“anyway, are you guys ready to go? i think it’s almost an hour until the reservation is actually valid.”

“i am, but i don’t know about haru.”

haru feigned an offended look, his hand pressed against his chest. “are you kidding me? i went to the grocery store in this suit.”

“well, haruto, don’t you know that that can cause creases and wrinkles?” his father asked, checking his watch.

her boyfriend shrugged, running his hands through his hair. “i do, but i just wanted to be extra prepared.”

“now that that’s settled, why don’t we head out?” selene offered, haru handing her her shoulder purse.

they all agreed, following after selene while haru locked up.

45 minutes later

as the clock hit 6:47, the group pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot, exiting the car. they were seated at a small round table, with a waitress named harlowe.

minutes passed by, they ordered, they ate, and then they left. it was now 8PM and fatigue was starting to take over selene. they waited by the entrance for their car to be driven back to them. while waiting, haru’s anxiety was kicking in. right now. do it. right. now. haru kneeled down and selene raised a brow. “are you tricking me again?”

haru shushed the girl and looked down, rethinking his words. “selene, i’ve known you for six years now and i think this has been long overdue. i’ve known you were the one for me since the moment you walked into the gym, bumping into the door, announcing your role as a new manager. and i’ve loved you ever since.” people were starting to crowd around the couple and normally, selene would’ve been scared out of her mind, but now she didn’t care because she was finally having her main character moment. “now here’s the scary part,” her boyfriend whispered. “miyasaki selene, will you be the roxanne to my max? my forever and always? will you marry me?” selene giggled at his “a goofy movie” reference and eagerly nodded, grinning like a child at disney world.

haru smiled with her, pulling her into a bear hug. he wiped her tears that were unbeknownst to her and declared his love to her as he slipped the peridot ring on her finger. “you remembered?”

“i remembered.” back when they were in high school, selene begged him that when, not if, they got engaged, he would give her a peridot ring instead of a diamond ring. she always believed that worth was subjective and haru knew how much she loved her birthstone, so he got the ring custom made.

“you’re perfect.” she exclaimed, basking in the attention they were receiving from the bystanders.

three months later

“haru, you asshole! if you don’t show up within the next 10 minutes, i’m divorcing you.”

“don’t worry, babe. i’m right around the corner!”

“don’t ‘babe’ me, just show up!” she violently screamed into her phone. the bloodlust was practically oozing out of her and if her fiancé didn’t walk faster than 2mph, she would make sure that he would never see the child that she was on the verge of giving birth to.

the door slammed open, and there stood her fiancé. it felt like déjà vù but selene was NOT in the mood. she just wanted the pain of being in labor to end.

after around 27 minutes of pushing, screaming, and selene cursing her fiancé in her head, the baby popped out of her. “it’s a boy!” the overly cheerful doctor exclaimed.

“well no shit, we saw in the ultrasound.” selene retorted, finally able to breathe again.

“i apologize for her.” haru smiled at the doctor who looked like she was about to start crying. as soon as they cut the umbilical cord and did whatever they do to newborns, they gave selene her baby, afraid she was going to snap at them again.

selene and her boys slept on that very hospital bed for the night, relieved. her baby was healthy and the love of her life was there to see. he was definitely happy that selene wouldn’t divorce him. they weren’t even married yet!

two months later

“bye, haru!”

selene kissed him on the cheek and haru kissed her and hikaru back. “bye, selene! bye, hikaru!” he waved and closed the door, going off to the school.

“why don’t we go on a walk to the park? well, i’ll be walking and hauling your cute little ass around, but it’ll be fun!” she claimed, clapping her hands together.

selene gathered all of hikaru’s baby food, diapers, clothing etc. and put it in the baby bag in his fancy, new stroller that his grandparents bought him. changing into some leggings and a graphic tee, selene and hikaru left the apartment, and went off to the park.

it was half way into their walk that selene received a call from an unknown number. “hello?”

“hi, we are here to inform you that your fiancé has been involved in a car accident, caused by a drunk driver.” selene covered her mouth, tears streaming down her face like a waterfall. seeing his mother cry, hikaru started wailing loudly. “ma’am? are you there?”

the, now, widowed mother regained her composure. “may i ask which hospital he’s at?”

“highland hospital, miss.”

“thank you, have a nice day.” selene placed her phone back in her pocket and sprinted in the direction of her car.

[at the hospital]

selene, holding hikaru on her hip, paced back and forth around the room, waiting for news.

suddenly the door opened, revealing the man’s parents. their eyes watered at the sight and his mother ran over to embrace the poor girl. his father took a seat at the bench and sobbed quietly into his hands.

haru’s right arm and leg were severely broken and he would’ve definitely been required to have surgery. across his face and shoulder were extremely long wounds that were still bleeding. he didn’t look like your fiancé anymore.

hikaru was still confused about what was going on, for he was looking around the room, watery eyed, for his father. he couldn’t recognize the man on the bed, which added to the sadness.

within a fraction of a second, the machine that was taking and recording his vitals started beeping and doctors started rushing in, pushing everyone else out. now, there she was. sitting outside of the icu room, she hugged hikaru tightly and prayed to whichever god was present to save her fiancé. she couldn’t lose him. not yet.

but death is natural. and although it takes some too early or too late, for the right or wrong reasons, it’s still natural and destined to happen some day.

and that’s when she received the news. “miss, we’re sorry to inform you that the patient has unfortunately passed away. we give our condolences.” suddenly, every single noise in the hospital drowned out and everything went black.

“hey! we need a doctor over here. my daughter-in-law has collapsed!” was the last thing she heard before losing consciousness.

a day later

the light was blinding and coming back way too fast for selene’s liking. she searched the room for her family. not even hikaru was present. only the doctor. “w-what happened?”

“oh, good. you’re awake. apparently, you went into shock and collapsed in the middle of the hallway after hearing the news of your fiancé dying.” she was suddenly reminded of the news as her eyes glossed over. she let out a small ‘oh’ at the thought and cleared her throat. another doctor burst in and yanked the man aside.

“gee, aaron, who kicked your dog today?”

“aaron?” selene looked at the man again and looked for any familiar features.

“that’s dr. aaron to you.” she fiddled with the blanket which was uncomfortably thin. the female doctor ordered him to leave the room and sat by her side.

“sorry about him. he’s not good at interacting with anything but his body pillow of ariana grande.” selene grimaced at the thought and she laughed.

“it's fine. everyone has their flaws, i guess. do you happen to know where my son is?”

“oh, hikaru? what an adorable little boy. he’s in the waiting room with his grandparents.” she caressed selene’s arm. “my name is zoey, in case you were wondering.”

“thank you, zoey—i-sorry, dr. zoey.” zoey shook her head and laughed.

“don’t worry, i’m not like that uptight little shit named aaron. you can just call me zoey.” she beamed at selene, showing her gummy smile. she was about to leave, but quickly turned around and snapped and pointed at her. “right! i came in here to tell you that you’re okay to be discharged right about now.”

“thank you, again, zoey. you’ve been a great help!” she nodded as a ‘thanks’ and left the room. selene went back to fiddling with her blanket. he can’t really be gone, can he? i mean, it all happened so fast.

it took her a while to finally come to terms with the harsh truth that her fiancé was dead and she would never see him again. the next couple months would be the hardest, despite what she thought.

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A/N: ngl, i kinda sobbed when i wrote this. and OMG :0 this chapter is 2,578 words long- that’s like the longest thing i’ve ever written without any guidance or prompt. so congrats to me! and i promise that this is the longest the actual word by word text will be in this fic. i’m too tired to write any more stuff so 👍

#haikyuu smau masterlist #hq sakusa #sakusa smau #hq x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #pure angst #pls cry with me #i hate myself #haikyuu smau