The lady doth protest too much, methinks

So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward

what the fuck

#a whole new level of procrastination where your paper itself is procrastinating

When not only you’re done with the paper, but the paper is done with you.

the songs Beyoncé writes about that man are crazy it's like watching someone build the sistine chapel for a possum they found in a gas station parking lot

having received a lot of feedback about this post in the last 24 hours I've realized that everyone is right and I genuinely do need to apologize. possums are lovely creatures and they don't deserve to be compared to Jay Z, that was a deeply uncool thing of me to say. I'm sorry possums, I love the way you eat ticks and I hope you'll forgive me someday.

I've been informed that the thing about possums eating ticks might also be wrong. sorry that this post has become a monument to bad information about the noble possum. the point about Jay Z stands though.

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

outlaws are wanted

come on reblog this my grandma told me this joke and was convinced she was going to be famous on tumblr for it

every time my mom and grandma get into an argument my grandma says “excuse me pamela i am famous on the tumbler”

“but what if i’m being annoying :(“ everyone’s annoying dipshit it came free with fucking being alive and existing. now go talk to your friends

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

me cross eyed and seeing double:

i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.

for @shestrying

@lamialamia

love "et cetera" like... theres soooo much more. beyond your wildest imaginations. Not gonna tell u what tho. Move on

every time i see this image it makes me happy

or this one

This is perfect

Hi I have a question about Pacific Rim. Given that the sparring is just A way to test for drift compatibility and any activity that requires people to collaborate and anticipate each others moves works, including stuff like multi player video games

They are piloting a Jaeger together in my imagination

#hate this. im in the shatterdome trying to coordinate my jaegers in the field fighting for the fate of humanity #and these two chuckleheads over here won’t stop doing bits on the open channel #they keep defeating kaiju with slapstick routines and its INFURIATING

yeah the worst part is it's actually working for them

"flying a b-17 is a lot like playing jazz" —rosie rosenthal, probably

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

absolutely obsessed with the NASA eclipse broadcast where you spend over an hour with these very professional hosts presenting scientific facts and updates until the totality hits their location and they're reduced to screaming and hollering and incredibly human messes

"no spam liking" stfu that's how i know my mutuals are alive smh

#PLEASE DO embark upon a frenzied liking-spree be you friend or extraordinarily lost traveler of the web#i like using deductive reasoning to backwards engineer the convoluted chain of tags you're following through the annals of my blog#or watch you systematically like every single photo i've ever posted of wwi soldiers posing with animal companions

what do you mean i can’t read every book, study every academic subject, taste every food, live in every city in every country, visit every museum, listen to every single song ever produced, learn every language, meet every interesting person, memorize every particle of knowledge to ever exist ???

this redditor has the fucking battle royale of invasive plants (in the US) happening in their yard jesus christ. sentences of hate and destruction

Bro is actually fighting invasive demonic forces

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

other assorted roles may include

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

You should never forget the Tommy Gun