Twilight: Beautiful Disasters
Chapter One: why?
warning: Mention of death, mention of torture (non-descriptive), angst
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“what did you do to me….?” Her words were filled with disbelief and anguish, her blood red eyes glossy with venomous tears as she stared at her reflection in the full body mirror in the corner of the prestine bedroom she stood in that she woke up in moments ago and wasn’t hers by any means. She looked on the verge of tears, panic and grief fleeting across her beautiful eternal features that looked frozen and too beautiful and unnatural to be her.
She refused to believe that is even was her!
“Why would you do this to me?” she asked once more, spiralling as her bottom lip trembled as her tears shed down her face, turning around to look at the people responsible for the monster she’d become, Edward and Bella, with Emmett and Jasper standing behind them just in case. Edward didn’t know why Bella never had any self-preservation skills when it came to their kind, but she begged to see her bestfriend the minute she woke up, and clearly by her state at the moment, she wasn’t exactly happy to be awake- or alive for that matter as Edward read through her thoughts, her memories flooding back to her mind like a hurricane washing up shore a torrent of painful and mesirable memories of her Human life, and of her death.
Flashes of James taking her prisoner in that damned studio, leaving her on the floor writhing in pain from his bite on her neck after he’d tortured her beyond compare; bruised, bloody and pleading for him to kill her- begging him to not turn her as she laid there convulsing in burning pain and watching soon as her reason for this happening to her arriving only to fall victim too, to be bitten too.
They saved her, and let me die… Let me turn into this!
“We tried saving you, but it was too late; the venom had spread too far to save you as we did Bella” Edward tried to reason, tried to placate as Bonnie looked at him, disbelieving and sobbing as she bared her teeth at him “Than you should have killed me!” she screamed viciously, her screech reaching their ears like knives on metal- the windows of her room cracking at the mere sound of it, and though they were surprised by that- she continued on like she barely took notice
“You should have done to me what you did to him, should’ve killed me and burned me and let me fucking die than let me turn into fucking Monster!” she wailed gripping her hair as she pacing from left to right, trying to calm her breathing- Edward supposed she’d didn’t realise that the had no need to breathe anymore anyway. The wounds were too great, too fresh…
“Jasper…” Edward called on his brother, they needed her to calm down, this wasn’t good for her, she’d hurt herself- or worse hurt Bella with how anguished she felt. How much of this she laid blame on Bella to begin with, but try as Jasper might- even to the extent of everybody else in the room feeling his calm effect, they did not reach Bonnie at all. It was like his influence just made her more aware of her panic, her anxiety…
“It’s not working….” Jasper whispered in shock, blinking his wide eyes as Edward and Bella looked back at him in panic to his words “what does he mean by that? Are his powers not working on her? Can’t he calm her down?” Bella asked in a whisper full of worry of her own as she held Edward’s hand tight, eyes focused back on Bonnie who just kept on crying, hand wrapped around her stomach as her knee’s buckled and crumbled to the floor sobbing
“Her emotions are too strong for me to even try grasping, they’re overwhelming my powers….I’m sorry” Jasper choked out, brows pinched in distress as he quickly bolted out the room faster than Bella’s eyes could register. Edward was at a loss for words at that moment, he’d always been aware that Jasper’s gift was a bit overwhelming- constantly feeling how others felt, but he’d never seen him not only find it hard to control a persons mood, but be overwhelmed so much he had to leave the house entirely- he sensed how those emotions made him feel, and Edward was for the first time frightened and confused that that much emotion existed in one person.
In Jasper’s eyes, Bonnie felt too deeply, she was mourning too many things at once- and at the moment she was feeling everything, every emotion she’d ever buried when she was human flooding through her with nowhere to bury it anymore- and it was painful to her. Torture even…
“Edward please help her, she looks like she in pain!” Bella begged, watching Bonnie- arms wrapped tight around herself and forehead pressed against the wooden floor crying still as if she truly were in pain, and for a moment Edward was frozen. Not sure what He could do for Bonnie at all anymore if Jasper failed to help her.
“I think this needs Carlisle, I’ve never seen this before” Emmett advised as Edward looked back at him, nodding once to let him go fetch their father- maybe he knew how to handle this better than they thought they could “Bella I think it’s best if you and I leave, give Bonnie some space-…”
“No I’m not going to leave her like this! She’s like this because of me-…!”
“Bella” Edward spoke firmly looking into Bella’s concerned eyes staring up at him in plea to be left to stay with her friend
“You being here is what’s causing her pain” Edward forced himself to say those words. He didn’t wish to hurt Bella’s feelings- he knew she was beating herself up for all this, but he also knew she’d never want Bonnie to hurt any more than she already was, and the look of confusion and hurt in her eyes forced him to elaborate
“she’s…. she blames you for what happened to her- for everything James did to her; she wants you to leave”
Bella’s eyes brimmed with tears at Edwards words, looking back Bonnie who laid on the floor sobbing, hesitant to leave, but burdened by his words to argue as she turned to leave- whispering sorry to her friend one more time before walking out the door with Edward following her.