Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

I didn’t get suspended that day.  

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

This is the parent I want to be omg

I went to a nun school. 

The nuns there were like, so rad. 

It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there. 

There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy. 

So what happened? 

The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day. 

Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.” 

So I was at my desk during class looking like this: 

Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.

“you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”

What a mood.

Jesus said if guys hands were causing them sin-problems, they should cut them off.  Face-punching seems like a good pre-amputation steps, to prevent it getting that far.

movie vs book (i adore them both) 

How could you leave this in the notes, excellent addition

Actually, this makes the childification of Michael in the movie when he’s 15 in the book really funny:

Sophie, a 20-ish year old woman from a fantasy land where getting married at 16 or 17 does not seem to be unusual: Yes, this is a young man who is almost an adult.

Howl, a man in his late 20s from our world: This is a BABY and he does BABY things.

Also Howl took Michael in when he was younger and orphaned, so he may be still be that little orphaned child in Howl’s eyes

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

not to get back on my michael knowles bullshit

but he explicitly analogizes tomboys to "gargoyles" -- interesting, make life better, but should never be central to Christian life. Essentially should be pushed to the fringes the way a gargoyle makes a church more interesting on the outside but should never be the focus of the decorations. This is his way of reconciling the number of gender role nonconforming female Christians in the middle ages, which was the high point of Catholic life. (I say "gender ROLE nonconforming" here because there's not even a lot of evidence that many of these women were particularly masculine; they may have just been ambitious or something.)

i think it's a testament to my growing self esteem that this even bothers me. When I was younger I would have been totally fine with that ("at least he's not calling me a bad person!" "at least I'm included"). Christian life is meant to be applicable to everyone, and God doesn't make people wrong. For the people wondering if this means we'll just allow everything and lose all our standards, no-- you can literally be hardline about what virtue and sin are. But making up fake sins that don't exist is nonsensical

As someone who struggles with a lot of guilt and mental health issues, I really hate it when people try to project their own (often very bigoted and narrowminded) ideas of what a Catholic is supposed to look like. And one of the worst things that comes out of this is that so many Catholics end up worrying about stuff that aren't even sins, while also missing the sins they should actually be worried about and should be trying to stamp out.

When we become legalistic with our faith, we treat God like a tyrant that will abandon us or mistreat us the moment we stop shoving ourselves into pretty, perfect little boxes.

God already loves you and wants to help you. Focus on walking with Him over how messy you are. I say that as someone who often has to be reminded of this.

Right! Follow the ACTUAL RULES! We have enough of those already!

St. Joan of Arc is displeased

Women are selling online courses on how to "awaken your feminine Energy", while I have to wake Up at 5:30 am in the morning for Work 🤡

What happens if you have no feminine energy to awaken in the first place?

Then you default to Gremlin Energy.

Petition for churches to stop having tasteless bread for communion.

From what I understand, the reason churches that practice the Eucharist use tasteless, unleavened bread is because that's what the Hebrews would have eaten at Passover, and thus would have also been the kind of bread that Jesus consecrated during the Last Supper. The Catholic reading of the Passover described in Exodus is understood to be one of the most explicit instances of foreshadowing the Christ--the Lamb whose blood saved His people from eternal death. (I only say the Catholic reading because I know different Protestants interpret Scripture in different ways, but I'm not entirely familiar with which denomination believes what, so I have no clue if this understanding of the text is widely accepted outside of my own denomination. But I'd hazard a guess that Protestant churches that adhere to a more traditional order of the service do it for the same reason).

So yeah, keeping the Eucharistic Host as close to the traditional Passover meal makes a lot of sense from that perspective, even if it does mean the Sacrament is a bit less of an exciting experience lol.

This is an amazing take, but unfortunately, the bread is leven, so it has no excuse.

Petition for churches to stop having tasteless bread for communion.

From what I understand, the reason churches that practice the Eucharist use tasteless, unleavened bread is because that's what the Hebrews would have eaten at Passover, and thus would have also been the kind of bread that Jesus consecrated during the Last Supper. The Catholic reading of the Passover described in Exodus is understood to be one of the most explicit instances of foreshadowing the Christ--the Lamb whose blood saved His people from eternal death. (I only say the Catholic reading because I know different Protestants interpret Scripture in different ways, but I'm not entirely familiar with which denomination believes what, so I have no clue if this understanding of the text is widely accepted outside of my own denomination. But I'd hazard a guess that Protestant churches that adhere to a more traditional order of the service do it for the same reason).

So yeah, keeping the Eucharistic Host as close to the traditional Passover meal makes a lot of sense from that perspective, even if it does mean the Sacrament is a bit less of an exciting experience lol.

I just call em Jeezits

LIZ, NO 🤣🤣🤣

Petition for churches to stop having tasteless bread for communion.

From what I understand, the reason churches that practice the Eucharist use tasteless, unleavened bread is because that's what the Hebrews would have eaten at Passover, and thus would have also been the kind of bread that Jesus consecrated during the Last Supper. The Catholic reading of the Passover described in Exodus is understood to be one of the most explicit instances of foreshadowing the Christ--the Lamb whose blood saved His people from eternal death. (I only say the Catholic reading because I know different Protestants interpret Scripture in different ways, but I'm not entirely familiar with which denomination believes what, so I have no clue if this understanding of the text is widely accepted outside of my own denomination. But I'd hazard a guess that Protestant churches that adhere to a more traditional order of the service do it for the same reason).

So yeah, keeping the Eucharistic Host as close to the traditional Passover meal makes a lot of sense from that perspective, even if it does mean the Sacrament is a bit less of an exciting experience lol.

Do y’all want to hear the story of the most ridiculous church I’ve ever encountered?

Shoot

>Be me >Be taking an internship over in California for a few months between school years >Be looking for a church >Mom recommends one she found on Facebook >All their stuff on the page is for the Lorax >Figure it must be some thing they’re doing with their children’s classes >okayletsdothis.jpg >Pride flag flying outside >Okay that’s a little weird for a church, but it’s Cali, maybe they’re just trying to be welcoming >Go in >They sing a couple hymns I haven’t heard before >Is nice >Pastor goes up to preach >Eventually I notice he doesn’t have a bible >He pulls out the Lorax book >Reads it in its entirety >Keep in mind this is the adult service >Proceeds to wax poetic about nature and environmentalism for the next 45 minutes >Mentions a vague ‘creator‘ maybe twice the whole service >Still never mentioned the gospel the whole time >By the end of this I’m beginning to think maybe the Catholics are right about us all being heretics >My family still jokes to this day about the Church of the Lorax

That’s the second worst I’ve seen.

The story of the worst one goes like this

>Same summer >Family is in Cali for another reason so they visit me while they’re there. >It’s Sunday Sunday Sunday! >Figure we’ll find a place to go to service >Already know to avoid the Church of the Lorax >See that Stanford chapel is nearby >Figure we’ll see what that’s like >Place is gorgeous >Looks like a cathedral inside >The ordained minister comes up >She’s a woman >First thing she wants to tell us is that she’s a lesbian >The rainbow stole already kind of gave it away >californiansbelikethat.png >Preaches on the sermon of Jesus driving the legion of demons into the pigs >Seems weirdly fixated on the legion character >Quotes his lines a lot >Not a lot of focus on Jesus >Gets really passionate about LGBT people and how people may hate them but they’ll never back down >Flat out says ‘We are Legion, We are Many‘ at one point with no trace of irony >Tries to use it as an inspiring slogan >I think by this point she’s forgotten she’s flat out endorsing the demons >In what is nominally a church >Rest of the congregation just nods along like ‘hey, maybe the demons had a point‘ >You know, maybe it’s not protestants >Maybe California is just Hell

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”peace and love” WRONG!!! ZELINK ATTACK