Just Some Girl

fashionably late? more like anxiously early

let’s be friends with benefits. the benefits? you get to be friends with me

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

How to tell time back in the medieval ages

Me intellectually: totally understands meltdowns and overloads

Me @ myself anyway: what kind of immature idiot am I, crying because there’s people and I’m tired? Literally no adult ever has done this besides me

anyways….wake me up inside

save me, if you have time

no I will not make the first move I will not move at all carry me

Let me just ask the police..

Why I think this is Florida?

I want everyone to see this i laughed until i cried and watched it 3 times

@morbidmalfunction @dnald 

going from “today is a good day” to “i hate my life” takes me approximately 2.6 seconds

me: hey can you make dopamine and serotonin

my brain:

I may not have the best body but it sure does hold all my organs in place