The Wars in Our Stars

i need to hire someone who can speak to cats to explain to Shams and Noor that they are supposed to be predators. I'm trying to introduce toys that emulate prey (with sound/smell of course so they can track it) so I can get them to play hunt but they're just like. *pats toy lightly with paws* 'hmmm interesting. i dig. a friend perhaps?' and i'm like nooooooo it's your prey you're supposed to chase it! i try to look it up on youtube but all videos are for if the cats are *disinterested* in play but they're very interested! just in a very polite manner lol like i'm introducing stuffed toys for them to cuddle with

*Oblivion guard voice* Excuse me sir, are you alright? I - by the Divines. This person's dead.

i was kidding at first with the oblivion guard quote but, the fish is battery operated to flop around and when i turned it off to charge the battery they were both IMMEDIATELY concerned that it stopped moving. when i turned it back on they were like, oh thank god. it doesn't even entice them to chase it. it just makes them feel better to know it's alive and kicking apparently??? shjdgsjdhd they care about this fake fish so much what the fuck

me: violence? care for some violence sir?

shams & noor: hmm... what is this

me: a fish! a prey! to bite and kill! to chomp! to-

shams and noor: to... to have and to hold? to love and cherish? a friend in time of need? a cuddle partner to brave the cold nights? a trusted comrade? and someday... if the fates are kind... something more, perhaps?

me: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill spend my twenties investigating the healing properties of salt i dont know about you guys

excuse me

Sorry op. That's my friend the Salt Vampire from the Star Trek episode "The Man Trap" which first aired in 1966. Blessings be upon you.

its just i dont feel blessed by its presence is all. sending love your way

Unmute !

Oh my goodness, that's a lot of opinions.

Rolling AND crispy meows.

kind of obsessed with this security question option my doctors office has given me

"he would not fucking say that" but its about a character being a leftist. he would not fucking believe that

media literacy is knowing when a character would say "i dont vote. why are you bringing politics into this?" no matter how mad it makes you to hear somebody irl say the same thing

big enjoyer of shitty media that i would never recommend to people ever in my life

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

Anemone runs from starfish

Anemone song is NOT shitty, delete this 😡😡😡

It's a good song

its one line repeated over and over

amazing

It’s literally not one line repeated over and over lmao educate yourself

https://youtu.be/93wE-2E0b4Q

can't have shit in the ocean

Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?

Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and I’ll take the other one and we will never see each other again.

Lawyer: You want to fucking what?

A bird with a good name is the least grebe. If that grebe grebe'd any less there wouldn't be any grebe there, hence it is the least grebe possible without no grebe.

[a least grebe shown next to mallard duck] image credit: Richard Ditch -> https://richditch.wordpress.com/2013/01/22/maricopa-countys-first-least-grebe/

This is my cat, Pigeon...

this is my cat, Pigeon :)

This is my cat, Pigeon 🤷‍♀️

Beautiful pigeons, everybody. Particularly enchanted by the last one, who appears to be some sort of nun.

i love this character so much......i hope they get seriously injured and almost die

new organs coming out soon

I showed my mom this (a genuine doctor) and she says that the inferior vena cava is real so I’m sorry but your post has been canceled op

yeah well this one is even more inferior

just a dogshit vena cava

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

choices made in anger is such a crazy image. if you know what i'm talking about

i'm gonna thrup

got my hands on a field guide of californian bugs and i found that there's this one bee species in southern california that looks like this

(Actual bugs under the cut, CW for insects)

Credit for idea @blimbo-buddy