CARNIVOROUS.

whom are you callin' smartypants.

“Smartypants” an audiobook by Han Seunghyun.

Let me tell you a story about a boy who was too much of a smartass that he refused to wear some pants just because they didn’t go with his shirt and end up dying out of hypothermia. So, once upon a time, there lived a 5-year-old boy named Yeohun who was so stubborn he never listened to what his brother said. One day, Yeohun was thirsty so he asked his brother to get him some milk to drink. His brother, on the other hand, was this perfect ray of sunshine who bled rainbows and glittery gooey shit– a golden boy with a big big heart. Anyway, Yeohun’s a greedy little bastard. One drink wasn’t enough for him so he kept on pushing his brother to give him more milk to drink even when his brother told him to stop because he would probably pass the fuck out from all the milk he’d been drinking. But nooooo. Yeohun would yell and kick and throw fucking tantrums everywhere to the point he would break a vase or spill the milk all over the motherfucking floor. Jesus, don’t even get me started on the floor, it was like an aftermath of some wild gangbang party– white liquid…every…where. Sure, it was nothing, his brother could just clean the shit up but LITTLE SHITE BLAMED HIS BROTHER’S DOG FOR IT which was not cool because how the fuck could a dog mess up that much?? So his brother prayed to God to give him all the patience in the world to handle his lovely brother he loved so dearly who was probably the reincarnation of the prince of darkness himself, by the way. He said “God, I’ve always been a good child who doesn’t deserve none of this bullshit so why the fuck are you like this to me?” and since God’s the man and he was really kind, he gave Yeohun’s brother an ounce more of patience, the brother was able to avoid going berserk up on this kid– and also because he loved him so much though he never really admit it– fucking gross, man, feelings.Anywho, the older brother cleaned up all his mess despite the rage he kept within him. And told Yeohun to change his shorts because it was all wet and it was 12 freakin’ degrees outside. The brother went to his fresh laundry and grabbed himself a soft and comfortable sweatpants for Yeohun to wear but he was like “NOOOOO THOSE DON’T GO WITH THE SHIRT” and BAM that was when he drew the line. The brother, with a very severe broken heart, searched all around the room for a fuck to give and found none. He had enough of his brother’s antics that he left him alone in the house. Legend said Yeohun died out of hypothermia but there was also a myth circulating around the town that if you called his name three times you would hear a baby voice going “NOOOOO THOSE DON’T GO WITH THE SHIRT”

The End.