Four Leafed Clover
Feet tapping on the ground to the rhythm, my head bounced in time as I waited for the bus.
I leaned against the bus stop sign with my hands in my pockets, headphones pressing against my skull as music tied itself into my thoughts. The ground was dark blue and a young boy hummed as he skipped by, leaving yellow footprints on the ground that faded moments after he moved on. A lavender colored individual sat on the bench a few feet away, eyes closed as a song slammed into their ears.
I turn away to keep waiting, foot changing tempo as the next track played.
On the bus, I placed my head against the window and watched the world blur. Flashes of bright and dark colors sped by. Grays and pinks and clementine orange, my eyes blurring from it all.
I was used to it by now, instead closing my eyes to focus inward.
It wasn’t strange to see so many colors so early in the day, sometimes they were duller in the mornings but some people always had a melody in their mind. Sometimes a simple hum can explode with feelings, with colors and shapes I was subjected to.
The colors were manageable, once I’d stopped complaining to my siblings or parents about it they stopped asking and I simply pretended I was normal. Being diagnosed as color blind at an early age and then later diagnosed with CBS could alienate you from your peers.
I pushed up my glasses and squinted down at the message on my phone, ignoring the bright red and neon yellow polka dots seeming to shimmer on my phone case.
I had to get to my job where dozens of hours are spent wasting away and it colors everything black. It was difficult to focus sometimes, between running an underpaid job and juggling college classes, I often found my brain melting in my head.
Laying in bed as my stereo crooned into the quiet room was the only cure.
Snakes of mustard yellow confetti wiggled from the speakers on the ceiling of the cafe as I stepped inside. My coworker’s skin was midnight black and their eyes were only a watery shade of wispy silver.
It was only a fleeting moment I saw each customer's color that kept me entertained.
One bored looking man burned ruby red while a smiling teen gazed out the window with sea green streaks bled from their roots. A blue handprint on the side of their coffee cup or an ink-like blotch peeking out from their collar were all seen and disregarded.
Interesting enough to keep me alive, not interesting enough to harass strangers.
Then someone came through the door with a flood of colors.
Her hickory hair was tipped a vivid orange, painting a sunset up her neck. A zebra striped letterman’s jacket hung off her shoulders, a cropped moon tee shirt peeking out. Her eyes didn’t dart around or waver, they were pastel pink and when we locked eyes I felt my stomach jolt. Her fingers were a faded silver and a cloud of indigo hung off her arms like a shawl.
And I’d never seen someone I’d wanted to know so badly.
She had so many different things happening, colors vibrating under her skin and hues spilling from her mouth. The cafe was quiet but she seemed to make the murmurs die into a hazy silence as bouncing lights blinded me from behind the counter.
She ordered a blueberry muffin and iced tea.
Complex emotions were stained all over her, switching so suddenly or writing an entire story before scrapping it and starting fresh right before my eyes. The sweat that gathered under my armpits and on my palms were embarrassing reminders to my social ineptitude.
I thought of Clover twice a week from then on.
I always hoped to see her weeping aura as I walked through crowds, no longer staring only at the ground as I scanned the sea of people with one-word feelings. I paused at every Clover I heard and looked into any look-alikes I could find. I social media stalked for weeks before giving up, before deciding that she wouldn’t ever enter my life again.
Dull grey bus with dull brown seats.
An aquamarine stain across a tabletop I was wiping down.
I ran right into someone almost a month later.
They didn’t move as I stumbled back and almost landed on my bum. I grumbled loudly and yanked down my headphones to chew them out for not watching where they were going, when a silver dipped hand gently took mine.
Clover smiled down at me kindly.
